


A Family, Settled

by alidiabin



Series: A Family, Together [2]
Category: NCIS
Genre: Adopting a dog, Dogs, F/F, Maryland, Mentions of Anxiety, Neighbours, Set in the future, Trying For A Baby, chapter from kid pov, homecomming, honestly just complete fluff, post covid, so soft, throw backs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-06
Updated: 2021-01-30
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:49:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 64,847
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27425230
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alidiabin/pseuds/alidiabin
Summary: Sequel to 'A Family, Reunited'. Tony, Tali and Ziva move back to the states. They meet some old friends, and face some new challenges. Very soft. Chapters updated weekly ish.
Relationships: Ziva David/Anthony DiNozzo
Series: A Family, Together [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2003044
Comments: 15
Kudos: 51





	1. Au Revoir, Paris

"So, we're really doing this?" Tony asked as he looked around their living room, and the boxes that filled what had once been empty space.

Ziva put some books in one of the boxes, next to some of Tony's DVD's, and a few of Tali's toys. She put another pile of books in a crinkly blue bag brought from that Swedish furniture store. That was the bag for stuff to donate.

Two weeks into packing up their lives in Paris, and Ziva had a system.

"Yes, we are," she said, as she wiped sweat from her forehead. "Though I seem to be doing most of the packing."

Tony could not wait to live in a house with air conditioning again.

Ziva grabbed a marker from the coffee table and labeled the box.

Tony scanned their living area, the too-small dining table where the three of them had shared almost every dinner for the last year and a half. The couch where they snuggled up for movie nights, Tali squished between her parents. His eyes fixed on their tiny kitchen, where he and Ziva had so many late night conversations during that first year when they all got used to each other again.

The tiny apartment held so many memories.

The scream tantrum that Tali had a few weeks after they moved in, because all she wanted was her mother, and that was the only thing Tony could not give her.

That time, he and Ziva had tried to make the most of Tali finally being back at school after lockdown, by having a grown-up cuddle on the couch, only for both of them to lose their nerve.

Our daughter sits there, Tony said, as he took Ziva's hand and led her to their bedroom.

That time, a few days before Christmas, where Tony sat staring at his phone. At the missed calls from Ziva, and the text

It is over. We are safe xo

After everything they had been through. They could finally be together.

"You say this every time we do something for the move," Ziva said softly, as she abandoned her packing, and walked towards him.

Her arms wrapped around his waist. He could see down Ziva's tank top, the one she never wore outside the house, because it had a faint tomato sauce stain, from that time Ziva brought too many tomatoes from the farmers market down the street, and tried to make pasta sauce for the winter.

Tali had loved helping her mother squash the tomatoes. Tony had loved hearing the two of them giggle in their tiny kitchen.

"I know," he said, "I just still can't believe we're doing this. I mean this time two years ago-"

"Things were very different," Ziva said softly, interrupting him.

"Yeah," he said. "There was no way I could imagine our lives would look like this."

Ziva's face broke out into a smile, and her eyes crinkled ever so slightly.

She was so happy these days. The panic lingered in the shadows, but she knew what to do when it tried to darken her day.

"Sometimes it doesn't feel real," he admitted. "Here we are, moving home, planning a wedding, and maybe having another kid."

Ziva looked past him.

They had not been preventing pregnancy for the better part of a year now, and nothing seemed to have happened.

They might always be a trio.

"Do you think we have gone too fast?" she asked. "So much has changed in the last eighteen months."

Tony shook his head. He wouldn't have changed anything. They were finally together, all three of them.

"We've never been good at timing," Tony said, "There were a few years we were almost at a dead stop."

Ziva smiled. A soft smile.

We have wasted so much time, they had both said many times over the last year.

"I will miss this," he said, taking one hand off Ziva's hip and waving it around the apartment.

"This apartment?" Ziva asked.

"Not exactly," he said.

He loved the little apartment, with the closet sized room that Tali had turned into her little den, but even if they were staying in Paris long term, they would have had to move. The place was not big enough for three.

"I will miss Paris," he said, "It's been good for us here. We needed some time to be together, just us."

"Yes," she said, with a slight nod. "I think it would have been harder for me to reintegrate, if we had been back in D.C. There would have been so much other noise."

Reintegrate sounded like a therapy word. Ziva had completed her final therapy session the week before, and had not found another one for their new life. She was going to see how she went. The good days far outnumbered the bad these days, and she had skills to manage the bad ones.

"But," Ziva said, as Tony pulled Ziva closer. Their bellies touched. Both of them had softer bellies now, carrying the happy weight from lingering diners and the cookies the family made together in that tiny kitchen. "I am looking forward to being back there, to rebuilding some relationships. We wanted to expand our lives, yes?"

More therapy words, but he knew what she meant.

She had come back from the dead, and left a lot of pain in her wake.

Healing was a journey.

He was looking forward to spending some time with the McTwins in person, and seeing his Dad more often.

The old man seemed to have aged a decade in a year, he had lost many friends to the virus.

Tali was looking forward to seeing her Pop-Pop all the time too.

"Yeah," Tony said, "Tali needs to be around more family."

All three of them did.

Life was too short to be so far away.

They stood for a few beats looking at each other. Tony studied Ziva's face, seeing the features that had been passed onto Tali.

"Leaving Paris, will be bittersweet," Ziva said, "But, I think it will be worth it."

"I know," he said. "We'll have that house with the two bathrooms, and the yard, and we'll be close to everyone."

The modest house, toured during their fast paced visit to the US during Tali's spring break, was just outside the beltway, and would be home for a long time. It had enough full sized bedrooms for the three of them, and a spare they hoped to fill. It had two bathrooms, which was what excited Tony most. There was also a basement room that Tony hoped to turn into a movie room.

Buying a house while living in another country had involved a lot of late calls, and misunderstood emails, but Tony could not wait to be in his house with his girls. It would be their forever home.

This plot would be great for a tear down, the realtor had said when she showed them the dated house, the was a mere ten minute walk from a stop on the red line, but as soon as the three of them had walked through the door Tony had known they would never tear it down.

Tali loved the big tree in the backyard, and Tony had promised her he would put a tire swing up..

Ziva loved the kitchen that looked into the lounge, so that she could help Tali with her homework while she cooked.

Tony loved that he could see a future in the modest little house. He could see a teenage Tali slamming doors. He could see him and Ziva enjoying an empty nest, while still being close to amenities. He could see another chair at the table, maybe a high chair.

Maybe.

This is it, Tali had said, as she stood on the rotten back deck. This one.

Tony and Ziva had shared a look, while the realtor talked about all the renovations they could do, to make the little house seem bigger.

This house had been the third one they had viewed in person. Tony had thought that Tali had just had enough of her not very fun vacation. They had gone to house viewings and on school tours.

The first had been too small, and too far away from everything. A townhouse in a complex, surrounded by more almost identical houses. Paris had spoiled them, they wanted to be able to stroll to the supermarket to buy a forgotten ingredient. Ziva wanted to walk Tali to the school they were dropping a mortgage payment on.

The second was too big. A huge Chip and Joanna house plopped in the place of a more modest house. Everything was brand new, and it was less than a half mile to some shops, but it was on a main road. They wanted to live on a quiet street. For Ziva sleep was hard enough to fall into, she did not need to have disturbed by an early morning bus, or truck horns.

On the crumbling deck, he and Ziva had shared a nod. This was it. The one.

We're really doing this, aren't we? Tony asked, as Ziva looked around the yard.

She got the attention of the realtor and said the words.

We would like to make an offer.

"And, you have your job," Ziva added.

Tony smiled, and felt butterflies in his stomach.

It had been a long time since he had been excited about a job.

It had been over five years since he had a job.

The job was part of a non-profit that helped get unemployed people into new careers. The non profit had been started by two childhood friends who grew up in the less savoury parts of DC, and went into careers that got them out. One of them had gone to Iraq for his country and came back with half as many limbs. The other had struck out during his first year in the minor leagues and battled an addiction. They had come out on the other side and wanted to help other people do the same, especially after the pandemic caused so much pain.

Tony would be a career coach, helping to get people into new careers and training for the new economy. He was looking forward to being their to help people pick up their lives, and make good. He'd spent years being there on the worst day of someone's life, and now he got help them rebuild.

Tony had been able to negotiate flexible work hours, and would be home for dinner every single night.

"I know," he said. "And, I'm excited. It's just a big change."

"And, you have never done well with change," Ziva said softly.

Tony frowned.

"You've got me there," he said. "I also hate packing, how have we accumulated so much stuff?"

In Tony's twenties he had moved every two years, almost always after something had gone down where he was. Those moves had always been quick, with apartments packed in a single afternoon, and that had been in the days before music and movie streaming. Tony had once had quite the collection of cassettes that were lugged from apartment to apartment.

Ziva stepped back and held up her hands.

"Don't look at me," she said. "You and Tali are the pack mice."

Ziva had come back to them with only the clothes on her back, and a go-bag.

She had always packed a good go-bag.

"Pack rats," he corrected, as his arms snaked back around her waist. "And, there are a lot of books in those boxes."

Ziva looked up at him, and flashed him a slight smile.

"Are you worried about the move?" she asked softly.

"I'm a bit concerned about what these French movers will do to our furniture," he said, "And, I know Tali is going to be concerned about her toys being on a ship."

His mind drifted off to that time he and Ziva had gotten trapped in a shipping container.

Oh how far they had come.

"I was not asking about our stuff," she said.

"I know," he admitted, as he looked at her. "I guess I'm a little worried. It's probably going to be weird being back, and when servers are actually nice to me. Reverse culture shock is a thing, right?"

"It is," Ziva said. "But, I would say you have been very American while we have been here."

"Yeah," he said. "Honestly, mostly I'm excited. We have a great life, and now it's going to be even better."

Ziva smiled at him.

"It is," she said.

"Did you look at that link I sent you?" he asked. "The community college near the new house."

Tony and Tali were both going to start at new places at the end of the summer. Tali at progressive private school, chosen because they didn't want Tali to get lost in the overcrowded public schools. Tony at his new job, that was set to start the week after Tali went to school.

Tony worried about Ziva having nothing but the house for six hours a day. He knew her, she needed to feel useful.

"I did," she said. "I will look into it more, once we are there. I think it would be good to make sure Tali is settled, before we add more change."

While Tali was excited about the new house, and being close to Pop-Pop, she had been less impressed when she realised that they would be giving up their little apartment, and she would be finishing at little school at the end of the school year.

They had thought Tali would take it in stride, she went to an international school, and kids seemed to cycle through all the time.

Tali was not willing to pack up her toys and books for the container, insisting that she might need everything.

She had also wanted her parents to tell her every time they were doing something in Paris for the last time.

She did not care that they would find another ice cream place near the new house, or that they would be surrounded by parks.

"She'll love it once we're there," he said.

"I know," she said. "Children are resilient."

Tali would never have to be a resilient as her parents were as children.

Tony's stomach rumbled.

They hadn't really done lunch, wanting to get as much packing done as possible, while Tali was at school. The movers would be emptying their apartment in less than a week. They were working to a deadline.

Tali was on her second-to-last day of school.

"If we shower now," she started. "We could make a stop before we pick Tali up."

"That little patisserie?" he asked.

Ziva nodded.

"We have not said goodbye to that place yet," she declared.

When Tali was told they were likely visiting a place for the last time, she insisted on saying goodbye to it.

Goodbye dentist, I didn't like you anyway.

Goodbye hairdresser, you smell funny.

Goodbye toy store, I will miss you most of all.

At seven, Tali had found her dramatic streak.

Tony and Ziva had found themselves doing the same thing when they visited places for the last time. Often standing in the lobby or in front of the window taking in a place that had been part of their little life, and silently saying goodbye.

Goodbye doctors office, thanks for letting me freak out when Tali got really sick.

Goodbye supermarket, you were always so busy, and so cramped.

Goodbye gym, that I did not visit enough, even once it was allowed again.

"The government does want us to support local cafes," he said. "To help the economy."

Ziva let go of his hand and walked past the debris in their living room, toward the bedroom.

Tony admired the view. Ziva in yoga pants would be the death of him.

He followed her, maybe they could share that shower, that would save water.

Then she turned around.

"I have been thinking," she said, as tugged at the hem of her tank top.

"That's dangerous," he murmured.

His eyes nowhere near hers.

"About the dining table," Ziva announced.

Tony turned around, and looked at the table. They had been sorting through the kitchen, so it was covered in junk.

Did they really have two cake tins?

"What about it?" he asked.

He thought of the lazy family breakfasts they had shared on many quiet Sundays. He thought of those cozy midnight snacks of cheese and crusty bread he and Ziva shared after Tali went to sleep.

He finally understood why cereal ads featured a family around the table. It really was the center of their little home.

"It is small," Ziva said.

Knees always ended up being bumped under the table, but Tony did not mind.

"Yeah," he said, as he looked at the sunflower Tali had been growing on the windowsill. That would not make it through the move.

"Probably too small for the new place," Ziva said. "I know we are probably not going to use the formal dining room for eating, but the table is probably too small for the nook."

The new place had a screened porch that one of the previous owners had converted into a formal dining room. When the family had walked around the house, the realtor called the owner to discuss the offer, they had agreed to turn the formal dining room to a den. The piano would sit by the window, and they would build floor to ceiling shelves on the big wall.

Tony had also imagined a desk in the corner. His new job allowed him to work from home at least once a week, and if Ziva wanted to go to college she would need the space to study.

"Yeah," he said. "Probably."

He was doing his best impression of a bored sitcom husband.

They weren't even married yet.

They had been talking about doing it in their new garden before the year was out. Just something small with all their favourite people, and a Rabbi.

We have waited too long, she had said as they did the dishes one evening.

"We should not pack it then," Ziva said. "It will be two weeks before the ship comes in, that will be enough time to get a table."

In the time between the three of them landing at Dulles, and their belongings arriving, providing Tali's fears of the container falling into the sea did come to fruition, would be busy.

They were going to paint every room, and get the rotten deck replaced. Their new home had been in one family for over thirty years, before becoming too much for its widowed owner, it needed just a little love to make it a home for the three of them.

"We have space in the container," he said.

Ziva frowned.

"Why would we bring it with us only to discard it?" she asked.

"I don't know how to get rid of furniture here," he said, "It probably needs four seperate forms, and will cost us money."

It had been hard enough to get rid of the car. There had been so many forms.

The table was the center of their little home, and he wasn't ready to let go.

Tali would not cope with any more changes. They had promised her that they would set up her new bedroom exactly like it was in the apartment. Tony had even made a show of taking photos of the bedroom from every angle, to help rebuild it in the new house.

Ziva frowned. She was unconvinced.

"It'll give us more time to find the perfect table," he said.

"It does not need to be perfect," Ziva said. "It needs to be bigger. You said you wanted to have your father over for dinner all the time. We will not all fit, especially as Tali gets bigger."

He knew enough to know this was not just about the table.

He had no idea what this was really about.

Was it Ziva trying to assert decortrial dominance, because every piece of furniture in this tiny apartment had been picked by Tony and Tali.

"We'll get another table," he said. "A good one. From that store with all the throw pillows you like."

The store with the name after a social science discipline, with oddly designed impractical furniture. Ziva lusted after the items on that website. Tony had visions of their living room being turned into a Moroccan bazar.

"We would probably need something more practical than the ones they sell there," Ziva offered. "We both need back support at meals, and we have a child."

He scoffed, and reached out for her.

He would ask her what all this was about later, once they had picked up Tali, and said goodbye to their favourite patisserie by buying far too many pastries.

Laying flat in their bed, listening to the whir of the desk fan, and feeling sweat trickle down them, they talked about it. Ziva assured him it was all about practicality, and the table being too small. Tony promised to look at some tables that Ziva had bookmarked. Ziva had expensive taste.

It was like a scene from a sitcom, and Tony was so glad that he got to live it with her.

Then it all happened so quickly.

All three of them cried on Tali's last day of school.

Then the movers swept in, and emptied their tiny apartment of all but six suitcases and three backpacks.

And three hours later, they closed the door on their little apartment for the last time. All three of them had tears in their eyes.

It's the end of an era, Tony said, as he led Tali down the stairs toward the taxi that had been hired to take them to the hotel the night before their flight.

In the airport, after they had paid extra for their overweight suitcases, Tony took the hands of both of his girls, and said it again.

"We're really doing this, aren't we?" he asked.

'We are," Ziva said as they walked toward the immigration line, with their one way tickets.

"Are you scared, Daddy?" Tali asked.

"No," he said softly. "I'm excited."


	2. Time, Glorious Time

Tony looked out the car window, as Ziva turned off the interstate, he had only been up to this semi-rural corner of Virginia a handful of times, often when a Marine or Petty Officer was found in the middle of nowhere. There had been a time, in the year after the three of them walked out of that dusty cell, where Ziva had driven them out here for a case. She'd known the way, and barely had to consult the map.

It all made sense now.

Ziva leaned forward, and turned off the maps app on her phone.

"I know the way from here," she announced. "That robot voice is annoying."

Tony leaned forward and turned up the air conditioning. Sweat pooled at the back of the deck, he wasn't sure if it was because of the heat, or a case of nerves.

Odette had friends deep in the shadows.

Odette's home also housed a lot of skeletons.

Ziva had offered to let him see the cabin, when they packed up her journals to take them home. The cabin that had been her only safe place during their years apart. The cabin contained more than enough secrets.

Tony wasn't sure if he wanted to let the shadows come into the light.

"How much longer?" Tali asked from the backseat. She tugged at the seatbelt.

Tony looked to Ziva. This was her rodeo.

"Twenty minutes, or so," Ziva said. "Traffic is a little unpredictable here."

They reached a junction, and watched as SUV's, minivans and the odd pick-up truck moved through the roadway.

There were probably people who commuted from here to DC everyday, Tony felt a prick of anxiety just thinking of such a lengthy commute, and all that could go wrong trying to get in and out of the beltway.

His new job was on the same metro line as their house, and Tony was entertaining the idea of taking the train to work, at least until they got a second car, or they saw their first snow.

Paris with its easy public transport had spoilt him.

"We've been in the car for ages," Tali whined. "Forever and ever."

"It's been twenty-five minutes," Tony reasoned, knowing it was futile to try and reason with a hungry Tali. "We were in the car longer when Uncle Jimmy picked us up from the airport."

Through the grapevine, Tony had heard there had been a rather intense drawing of straws to see who would get to pick up the three of them from the airport. The winner was the one who got to pick the little family up.

Everyone was so excited to see them.

They had come home to so much love.

"I was asleep then," Tali retorted.

Tony remembered the journey from the airport to the Air BnB near the house, he remembered Tali sitting in Tori's booster seat, and her little snores filling the car.

Jimmy had talked a mile a minute, wanting to organise a play date between the two girls, and talking about all the great parks near the new house.

Tony had looked at Ziva through the rear view mirror. Ziva's hand on Tali's as Tali slept, and that soft smile on her tired face.

We're home, she had said with a nod. We made the right choice.

"We are nearly there," Ziva offered. "And, when we get there you can play with Odette's dog."

Ziva braked harshly, and Tony held on tightly to the dessert box on his lap. Ziva had wanted to make something for the desert, but in the ten days since they had landed at Dulles, their days had run away from them. They had spent a lot of time at the empty new house, painting rooms and organising the replacing of the deck. In the end they visited a local bakery that specialised in French style pastries.

They did not exactly compare to the real thing, but looked good behind the glass.

"Couldn't we have taken the train?" Tali asked. "I like the train."

Tali liked that she could get up during a train journey and wasn't constrained by the car seat.

Tony and Ziva shared a look.

"The trains here aren't like they are in Paris," Tony said. "But, they're much better here than they are in other places."

Tali frowned. She was such a city child, used to walking or scooting everywhere, and getting on a train or tram when they had to go far away.

"So, we're going to have to take the car everywhere?" Tali asked, folding her arms over her chest. "I hate the car."

The suburbs were going to be tough landing for their little city kid.

Tony reminded himself that even if they stayed in Paris, they would have had to have moved further out. Their apartment really had not been meant for three.

Their modest house felt glacial in comparison, especially when it was empty.

Still, he wondered if they should have spent twice as much money on a townhouse in the northwest of DC, not far from where Ziva used to live, which would be more city-like for Tali.

"Not everywhere," Ziva said, trying to soften the blow, "But. more than we did in Paris."

"I hate it here," Tali announced.

"You don't hate it here," Tony said, "You're just adjusting, we're all adjusting. It's a big change."

"I do," Tali said, as her face formed a pout.

Seven going on seventeen.

Ziva turned into a much quieter road, and Tony noticed that the houses were getting further apart, and he saw a sign encouraging motorists to check for horses.

He looked back at a sulking Tali in the backseat, and Ziva had been talking about doing something fun over the weekend, to give Tali a break from all the moving. They were so close to Rock Creek park now.

"Why is Ima driving?" Tali asked. "She never drove in France."

That was not strictly true, but Tony saw no point in correcting her.

"Daddy does not know where we are going," Ziva said. "So, it made sense for me to drive."

Tali's mouth dropped open for a second, Tony could see her trying to make sense of the information she had been given.

Some of the adults she met were just Ima's friends, some were just Daddy's, but most of them were both of their friends.

"Odette was a big help to Ima," Tony said. "She helped Ima come home to us."

Tali nodded again. That slow nod she always did, when they talked about the time Ziva wasn't with them.

"And, she has a dog," Tali asked.

"Yes," Ziva said. "She adopted a dog during the shelter in place order. Remember she sent the pictures."

A smile crossed Tali's face.

"Can we get a dog?" Tali asked. "We have a backyard now."

Ziva's phone started to ring, and Tony picked it up when he saw Odette's caller ID. They had said they would be there ten minutes ago, and Ziva was almost never late.

"Saved by the bell," he murmured, as he took the call.

Fifteen minutes after the phone call, the car pulled up into Odette's driveway. Ziva got out of the car, and moved toward Odette. Tony rushed out of the car to release Tali from her seatbelt jail. He watched as Odette walked up the driveway.

She looked every bit the innocent old lady. An innocent old lady with more contacts than Ziva and Gibbs combined.

Tali jumped out of the SUV, and moved straight toward the dog.

"Tali, do not be rude," Ziva warned. "Remember you have to ask before you touch someone's dog."

Odette stood a few feet from them, and took them all in. The dog took her place behind Odette.

"Oh Ziva," Odette said, as she moved toward Ziva, and wrapped her arms around Ziva. "I am so glad to see you, all of you."

Ziva hugged Odette tighter.

"Thank you," Ziva whispered, just loud enough for Tony to hear. "I am glad you get to meet everyone."

Tony swallowed thickly and watched as Odette and Ziva separated.

"And, you must be Tali?" Odette said, as took in Tali. Her messy girls. The tan lines on her feet. "Your Ima told me so much about you. I am so glad to meet you."

Tali looked down at her feet. Tali could not say the same. Odette was just another grown-up her parents knew, and her parents knew so many grown-ups.

"Nice to meet you," Tali said, remembering her manners.

"Your Ima told me you like dogs," Odette said softly.

Tali nodded.

"Sierra really likes people," Odette said, pointing to the dog next to her. The dog's ears pricked up, after hearing her name. "I hope you're ready to tire her out."

"Can I pet her?" Tali asked. "Please."

Ziva beamed, and crouched next to Tali.

"Of course," Odette said. "She doesn't like loud noises, but she loves being petted."

Tali's hand reached for the dog, and the dog was receptive to her touch.

Ziva offered her hand to the dog, and Tony suspected that both of his girls would start dropping hints for them to get a dog.

It was like Tali said, they had a backyard now.

Odette moved toward him, with a smile on her face.

"And, you must be Tony," Odette said.

"The one and only," Tony said.

"Ziva's told me a lot about you," Odette said.

"All good, I hope," Tony said.

Odette chuckled.

"She's told me what I need to know," she joked. "I am so glad the three of you are here."

"Me too," Tony said, as he looked around toward the cabin at the end of the property. He turned back to Odette. "I've been wanting to thank you for a long time, but thank you doesn't seem like enough."

Thank you would never feel like enough. Not to all the people who helped Ziva come back to them.

When they had visited DC over Tali's spring break, the focus had been on getting all the ducks in the row for their move, but they had still made time to stop in at the Navy Yard, with pizza.

Those pumpkin walls carried so many memories.

In the squadroom, Tony had finally met Kasie and Nick face to face. He had given all of them, old friends and new friends, hugs and thanked all of them.

We were just doing our job, Nick had said as he slapped Tony's back, leaning into the man hug.

Tony was on the other side of the job now, and knew it was never just a job.

Odette reached out him with open arms.

Tony leaned into the hug. It felt so good to hug indiscriminately again.

"Thank you is more than enough," Odette whispered. "Knowing that the three of you are all together, and have worked it all out makes me so glad."

I was so worried that too much time had passed, Ziva had admitted during one of their late night talks during the lockdown. That I had hurt you too many times.

"Still," Tony said. "Thank you. Thank you for being there for Ziva and being a safe place for Ziva to land."

Their hug broke apart, and Odette looked toward Tali playing with the dog. Those two were fast friends.

Ziva looked at him, and at his empty hands. Then she looked toward the car. The bakery box was on the roof of the SUV.

"I will go and rescue the desert," she announced.

Odette chuckled.

"There's one person I'll never get to thank," Tony said softly.

Odette looked toward Tali playing with the dog. This was one of those conversations that needed a bit of distance.

"He would be so glad to see this," Odette said. "The three of you all together, it makes it all worth it."

He had told Ziva the same thing in those early days, I'd do this a hundred more times, as long as we'd get to be together at the end.

"Ziva's still making peace with everything that had to happen for her to come back to us," he said.

Ziva had lit a candle for Adam on the anniversary of his death. Once Tali had gone to bed, he and Ziva had snuggled on the couch, and she had shared stories.

Tony turned toward the car, and watched as Ziva walked toward them with the desert box.

"I told Ziva to only bring the three of you," Odette said. "I have enough food for all of us."

"DiNozzo's don't turn up empty handed," Tony said.

"She's not a DiNozzo yet," Odette declared.

Tony thought of the envelope addressed to Odette, that was in the glove box.

"We're working on that," Tony said.

Ziva walked past them, up onto the porch, and through a door. Tony was reminded then that Ziva knew this house well, very well.

"You know, now that we've finally met," Tony started. "I've got a ton of questions."

"Let me guess," Odette said. "You want to hear some stories about my younger days."

Tony's face flashed red, was he that transparent.

"I have lots of stories," Odette said. "But, if I told you them, I'd have to kill you."

Ziva stepped through the back door, carrying a tray with lemon water in a pitcher and four glasses.

"Can you at least tell me how you and Ziva met?" Tony asked. "Ziva's never told me that."

Tony and Odette moved toward the porch. Tony quickly checked on Tali, who was happily playing with the dog. The dog followed all of Tali's instructions, and sat when Tali told her too.

"She could tell you that," Ziva said, as she poured the water into glasses. "But, she would still have to kill you."

Odette filled a water bowl for the dog. Ziva walked off the porch and toward Tali. Her sandals clapped on the wooden steps.

"A guy can't catch a break with the two of you," Tony said.

Odette sipped on some water.

"I won't tell you the whole story," Odette said, "But, I will give you a clue."

Tony took his glass, and sipped on the water. It was cool and refreshing. It was so good to drink something with an obscene amount of ice. The French were so much more restrained.

"I'll take anything at this point," he said.

"Red hair," Odette said, as Ziva led Tali and the dog to the porch.

It took a few seconds for Tony to click.

Jenny Shepard.

Now, he only had more questions.

Tony took Ziva's hand, as they walked toward the cabin. Tali was busy playing with Sierra on the lawn, and Odette was fine to keep an eye on both of them.

Tony's stomach had been stuffed, and ached a little. Odette had put on a grand feast for the three of them, most of it cooked on the grill.

Tony wanted a grill for their deck.

He also wanted Odette's potato salad recipe, but that was a family secret that she would never reveal.

"Do you think Tali meant what she said in the car?" Ziva asked, as soon as they were out of earshot from Tali. "About hating it here."

Tony looked back at Tali, who was doing tricks with the dog.

"I don't think she hates it here," he said. "It's like I said, it's a big change, for all of us."

He knew it was less of a change for him, but it had been a change nonetheless. Relationships needed to be rebuilt, and like so many difficult things, it took time.

"I suppose," Ziva said.

"I think she's had enough of all the admin and errands we're doing," Tony said, "Maybe we can do something exciting this weekend, we've ticked everything off the to-do list, right?"

The to-do list had been formed over their last few weeks in Paris, listing all the things that needed to be done before the furniture arrived. They had ticked off most of the big things like getting a car, and getting the back deck rebuilt, but little things kept getting added to the list. The en-suite drain was clogged, the grass in the yard needed treatment, and the garage needed pest treatment.

No matter how many walks to the park Senior took Tali on, this summer wasn't the most exciting for a seven year old.

"Something that does not involve too much driving, yes?" Ziva said.

Tony chuckled.

They reached the front door of the cabin, and Tony felt his gut churn.

"So, here it is?" he said, as Ziva reached for a key from her pocket.

"It is probably not exactly how I left it," she said. "Ellie has been using it."

When the cabin had first been discovered during the Morgan Burke case, McGee had taken some photos of the cabin and sent them to Tony. Tony had spent many a late night, studying the photos looking for a sign from Ziva, a message only he would understand.

At that point he just needed to know she was okay, or as okay as she possibly could be.

During those lonely days, one side of his brain was reserved for his worries about Ziva, and the other worrying for Tali.

Ziva opened the door, and let out some dust, and Tony took it all in. The sofa bed that Ziva had probably used too many times, the locked cupboard that he suspected held an arsenal of weapons, and the boxes that contained Ziva's journals.

The journals were why they were here. The plan was to take the journals with them. Ziva wasn't ready to destroy the journals, but wanted them to be close. There was a storage room in their basement, which would be the journal's new home.

The journals would be available for Tali one day, when she had the inevitable questions for her mother. So much would need to be explained one day.

Ziva eyes flirted around the cabin.

"You okay?" he asked.

Ziva sighed and wrapped her arm over her torso. Her left hand touched her right elbow. Something she did when the anxiety bubbled up.

"This place," Ziva said softly, "It brings up a lot of things. It was not so long ago that this cabin was the only place I truly felt safe."

Tony moved across the cabin, so that they were close enough to touch. He snaked his arm around her shoulders, and felt her soften.

"Thank you for showing me this," he whispered.

This had been a promise made during one of the many conversations they had in their first year back together, as they made sense of all that had led them to this point.

One day I will take you to the cabin, Ziva said one night in bed, I think it will help.

"I do not think I can stay in here much longer," she admitted. Tony could see the back of Ziva's neck getting red, a sign of the panic rising. "I think I will go back to Tali, you take as long as you need."

"I can do this later," he offered. "If it's too much."

Ziva shook her head. A few curls had fallen out of her lazy ponytail, and framed her face.

"No," Ziva said. "I think you seeing this will help both of us."

They had made a deal that Tony could have read her journals in the cabin before they took them home.

"Okay," he said, "I won't be long."

Ziva leaned forward and bopped Tony's nose, before walking out of the cabin.

Tony took a deep breath and sat down on the sofa bed. It creaked under his weight.

A sadness came over him.

Ziva had been so alone for so long.

Even though they were together now, Tony wanted to reach into the past and make it better.

Tony got up from the sofa bed, and walked toward the boxes of journals. He recognised Ellie's handwriting on the box, and lifted the lid. He tried to ignore the discomfort he had knowing that Ellie had read every single word, and theoretically knew the woman Tony was going to marry better than Tony did,

Tony picked up the first journal, and noticed there was a piece of fabric among the notebooks. Tony picked it up, and saw it was an OSU hoodie.

One of his OSU hoodies.

The OSU hoodie that he had lent Ziva when they discovered they would be sharing a hotel room in Paris. Ziva got cold when she slept. She had never returned it to him.

Tony picked it up, and held it to his face. It smelt musty.

He could imagine Ziva hiding out in this little cabin wrapped in his hoodie, needing him to be close.

The sadness washed over him again. There had been so much pain.

Yet, here they were on the other side of it.

Tony placed the hoodie on the desk, and Tony started to rifle through the box, and picked up one of the journals.

The first journal was in Hebrew, from Ziva's early days in the team.

Tony picked up another one, and found this was in English. It was dated from the summer when Gibbs was in Mexico.

These movie nights are so easy. I know Tony is coming here for comfort, but I find myself looking forward to these Tuesday's together.

He is a good team leader, I wish he would realise that.

That summer came back to him. Ziva's Silver Spring apartment, with that huge plant in her doorway. The piano behind her dining table, she had never explained to him how exactly she had come to have it in her home.

Those nights where they fell into bed, and then pretended nothing had happened the next day, as they took photos at crime scenes.

Tony closed the journal and slid it into the box.

He picked up another one, and opened the book in the middle. This one was dated during the Port to Port killer case.

Ray is a good man. He is nice. He understands my work. But, it does not feel right. Maybe this is all I should expect, after all I have done.

Tony's heart broke again.

They had wasted so much time.

If only he had manned up, and told her how he felt.

Tony flicked through the journal backwards, catching glimpses of Ziva's words.

There is always another monster. Each one we fight seems to take a little more from me.

Tony sucked in a deep breath. His chest ached.

He wanted to reach back in time and hold Ziva close. To protect her from everything.

Tony slid the journal into the box, and ran his hands over his face.

He walked toward the doorway of the cabin, he could hear Tali's giggles.

"Ima, Ima," Tali cried out. "Look at what Sierra can do. Sierra up!. She's so smart."

"She is," Ziva said. "She likes you."

Tony would have to listen to his girls gushing over the dog that whole ride home.

Tony stepped back into the cabin, and back to the boxes. He decided he would look at just one more before, joining his family.

Tony plucked out another journal, and saw the date, a few weeks before her father died.

We are so close. I feel these lingering moments. Every time, I think I know everything about him, he surprises me.

Yet, still I feel I do not deserve him.

He deserves someone who is easy.

I will never make his life easy.

Tony closed the journal, and looked up at the ceiling.

His life did not make sense without her.

A shadow filled the cabin, and Tony turned to see who was joining him.

Ziva stood in the doorway, she moved her sunglasses up onto her forehead. There were grass stains on her pants, the pants she had in three colours and wore like a uniform in the warmer months.

"I wanted to see if you needed help," Ziva said, as she stepped into the cabin. "The boxes are heavy."

The weight wasn't just physical.

Tony moved toward her, and they met in the middle of the room. He wrapped his arms around her. He needed to hold her close.

"Did you read them?" he asked.

He noticed the redness in her eyes.

"A little," he said. "It's a lot."

Ziva looked away from him, and toward the box on the desk.

"Yes," she said. "You must know I never meant for them to be read. They were just me making sense of things."

There had been so much to make sense of.

"I know," he said. "I do need to know one thing."

"What would you like to know?" she purred.

"Did you really think you didn't deserve me?" he asked.

Ziva stepped back, breaking their embrace.

"Sometimes I still think like that," Ziva said. "I thought like that a lot when I first came home. I know it is not the case. It is just something I have to work through."

She was using her therapy terms again.

"I used to think that," Tony said. "When I thought you were dating someone-"

"You were jealous," Ziva interrupted, reaching for her earrings. Her nervous habit.

"Well yeah," he said, "But, I also thought that anyone Ziva dates needs to be amazing. She deserves the best."

Ziva laughed. Her curls bounced.

"I have the best man," she said, as she cupped his face. "It just took me a long time to realise he was right in front of me."

Tony placed a soft kiss on Ziva's lips. It broke quickly, and Ziva looked into his eyes.

"I think we have about twenty minutes before Tali becomes insufferable," Ziva said. Tali had managed to eat two deserts after their feast, the French pastries and the pie that Odette had made. That sugar high was about to lead to a spectacular crash. "We should put these in the car."

Tony patted the envelope poking out of his shirt pocket and walked toward the yard. Tali was still playing with the dog, but the dog was tired. She laid flat on the grass, as Tali tried to get the dog to roll over.

"It has been a lovely evening," Ziva said to Odette, as they sat on the porch. "When we set up the house, we should have you over."

"I'll have to bring the dog or Tali will never forgive me," Odette joked.

"She wants a dog," Ziva said. "Maybe, it is something we can look into when we are more settled. Next year she will be eight. Eight is a good age to learn responsibility."

Eight was going to be a hard age for Tali's parents.

Tony's world had fallen apart at eight.

Eight had been that last birthday Kelly Gibbs' got to have.

Eight was halfway through Tali's namesakes too short life.

Tony stepped onto the porch, and took the seat next to Ziva. Odette smiled at him.

"Did it help?" Odette asked, as she looked toward the cabin.

"It did," Tony said softly. "It helped me make sense of some things."

Ziva reached across the table and squeezed his hand.

"I'm going to paint it," Odette said. "Ellie keeps referring to it as Ziva's cabin, she's having a hard time seeing it as hers. A room of her own."

Just like when Ellie first took over the desk, and she felt too small for her boots.

"I think that is good," Ziva said, "A fresh start."

Tony turned to Ziva.

"Have you given Tali the ten minute warning?' he asked.

Tali did better when she was warned that her fun was going to end.

"Yes," Ziva said, "She is not happy."

"She's exhausted Sierra," Odettte said. "We're supposed to be living out our retirements here. It's been a lot of excitement for her."

"For both of them," Ziva said, as she looked out at Tali playing with the dog.

Tony plucked the envelope from his pocket, and slid it across to Odette.

"What is this?" Odette asked.

"Open it," Ziva commanded.

Odette opened the envelope carefully and slid out a card.

"A wedding invitation," Odette said, as she exclaimed the card. "You two have been busy."

"Well according to our daughter we have been engaged forever," Tony said, "And, a lot of people will say it took us long enough."

Odette studied the invitation, it was one Tony had made from a picture Tali had drawn of her parents getting married, he had scanned the picture and overlapped it with details of the ceremony that was to take place in their backyard.

"It is just something small," Ziva said, as Odette studied the invitation. "In our yard, and after the high holidays. We wanted to do something before it gets too cold. It will be very casual. We should probably extend the invitation to Sierra too. I know Tali would like that, and the other children we have invited would probably like that."

Tony could easily see Tali, Tori and the McTwins crowded around the dog in their best clothes, trying to get the dog to do tricks, while the grown ups toasted the happy couple.

"You're the second person we've given an invite to," Tony said. "We want to do it in person. We only got the Rabbi on board yesterday."

Odette smiled, and Tony could see her eyes were glassy.

Senior had done the same when they had given him, his invite, as the three grown-ups stood in the kitchen of the new house and decided whether Senior was staying for dinner. Senior lived so far away, if he stayed for dinner Tony would have to drive him home. But, none of them wanted their evening to end. It had been so long since Tali and Senior had gotten to hang out.

Senior had been so happy as he held the little piece of card.

"You really want me there," Odette said softly.

"Yes," Ziva said, "You helped me get back to my family, and you should be part of this celebration."

Odette smiled, a wide grin.

"Well count me and Sierra in," Odette said.

Ziva got up and wrapped her arms around Odette.

Tony checked his watch, and looked at Tali who was lying next to the dog on the grass, and telling the dog all about her little life.

For a second Tony could see a similar scene playing out in their little backyard, with another dog. Their dog.

Ziva stood up and looked at Tali.

"We better get going," Ziva said, sadness creeping into her voice.

These summer nights were always over too quickly.

"Do you wanna be the worst parent ever, or shall I take the honour?" he asked.

Ziva looked at him, with an eyebrow raised.

"Best of three?" she asked, as she balled her hand into a fist.

"Paper, scissors, rock," Tony said, as he did the same.

Odette raised her eyebrow, and a slight smile crossed her face as she realised what the two of them were doing.

Her rock beat his scissors. Then his paper beat her rock. Then her scissors beat his paper.

He stepped down onto the grass, feeling the late evening sun on his shoulders. The dog had fallen asleep resting her head on her paws.

"Daddy says, I'll like it here," Tali stage whispered to the dog. "I hope he's right."

Tony felt his heart heave. They just needed to give this move time.

He turned back and watched as Ziva and Odette hugged again.

"Come on Small Fry, we've gotta go," Tony said.

The dog woke with the noise. She looked around the lawn, and quickly settled back into sleep.

"Five more minutes, Daddy," Tali whined. "Please."

Tony shook his head, but sat down next to her ignoring the twinge in his back.

The sun was streaming in from behind the tall trees. It was lovely here.

"Look at the cloud," Tali said pointing to the sky.

Tony leaned back, and laid down on the grass. It tickled the bare skin of his forearms. Tali moved slightly and placed her head on his chest.

A warmth spread through him. The same warmth that always came whenever he held Tali close. It was the pure love that all of the parenting books promised.

The cloud Tali was pointing out passed above them.

Tony looked out at Tali's long legs, poking out from her dress. Tali had gotten so tall in the last year. Tony could hardly believe that the tiny toddler he'd met in Vance's office was the same person as the energetic kid in front of him.

"Dad," Tali started, she had started to use Dad over Daddy in the last few months, another reminder that she was getting older.

Tony wanted to stop time, right there. He wanted them to lay in the evening sun forever.

"Yes," he said.

"Can we get a dog?" Tali asked. "I promise I'll help look after it."

Tony chuckled to himself. She hadn't even waited until they were back in the car.

"Maybe," he said. "We'd have to talk to Ima, we make decisions as a family now."

"Ima wants a dog," Tali declared.

Odette whistled, and the dog rushed up and ran toward the porch.

Tony heard the crunch of grass under sandals, and quickly Ziva was standing above them, blocking the sun.

"If we do not go now," Ziva said, her suntanned arms on her hips. "We will never go."

That didn't sound too bad, maybe the three of them could lay in the sun forever. Not getting older. Not moving. Just laying there.

Tali jumped up, the dog was gone now, she was ready to go.

Ziva offered her hand to Tony, but he refused, pressing his hands into the grass, and pulling himself up.

"Ima," Tali said, bouncing on the balls of her feet. "Daddy says we can get a dog."

Tony stood up, and took his place between his girls. One hand held Ziva, and the other held Tali.

They were his family. He wanted them close.

"Did he?" Ziva asked.

"I said maybe," Tony corrected, as they walked toward the car, where Odette and the dog were waiting for one last hug.

Just one more.

"Maybe means yes," Tali said, still bouncing. "Especially when Daddy says it."

Ziva threw her head back and laughed. Her curls bounced. Tony laughed a little too.

His daughter had him wrapped around her little finger, and he wouldn't have it any other way.


	3. Home, Sweet Home

"Look Ima," Tali said pointing up to the sky. One hand tightly on her ice cream cone. "Just like Paris."

Ziva took a long lick of her ice cream. It was sickly sweet, but exactly what she needed on this hot August day.

She followed Tali's hand and looked up at the canopy of green leaves above them. Such a relief in the heat.

"Yes," Ziva said. "It is a little like Paris."

Ziva thought of the corner by their tiny apartment, with the bakery that was almost impossible to walk past, and the canopy of green leaves in the summer.

She thought of those grey December days, after she came back to them, where they would take Tali for a walk. Tali would scoot on the path, and Ziva would look up at the naked trees.

Everything had been so new then. Ziva had been so worried that after all this time apart, things would always be this hard.

Then Spring came, and little leaves started to bud on the trees. Tali did not get to see them that year, because of the lockdown, and Ziva rushed past them, needing the panic to stay manageable for the hour long shopping trip.

Summer came that year, and the leaves formed a canopy, a safe place to shelter when the city heat got too much. Tali had been allowed out, and scooted down the path again. So many of the fears Ziva had about reintegrating into their lives had fallen away by the time those green leaves turned orange and carpeted the ground.

Now, Ziva found some of those old fears bubbling up. She knew her place with Tali and Tony, but not with the others. Not with the men she loved liked brothers and a father. Not with the new faces in the orange squadroom. Those who had helped her come back to her family, even though they had never met her.

"I miss Paris," Tali said, looking down at her sandals.

Ziva felt that aching in her gut, when she saw Tali was upset.

Ziva had caused so much pain, and now she worried she was adding to it.

Things would be better once Tali started school, at least that's what Tony and Ziva told themselves.

"I do too," Ziva admitted, as she placed her hand on Tali's shoulder.

"Really?" Tali asked.

"Yes," Ziva said, as the ice cream started to melt, and trickle down Ziva's hand. "But, I think once we get used to here, I will miss Paris less."

Tali nodded. The wide rim of the huge sunhat, in her favourite purple colour grazed Ziva's arm.

Ziva's mind drifted to those long walks through the olive groves, that she used to take Tali on. She remembered the little infant strapped onto Ziva's chest, and the tiny little sunhat. That tiny baby became a toddler who insisted on walking herself, and never kept her hat on for long.

How long ago it all felt.

How long ago, it actually was.

"Your ice cream is melting," Ziva told Tali, "You do not want to waste it, do you?"

Tali put her ice cream to her mouth, and started to aggressively lick it.

Ziva felt a smirk cross her face.

Seven.

How was the little baby who saved her, already seven?

She left Tali to her ice cream, and adjusted her stance. The railing they were leaning on, dug into her back, and the canvas bag containing their haul from the farmers market tugged on her shoulder.

Tony had offered to take the bag to the car, when he had left them by the ice cream shop to run more of the errands they had come to do. The plan had initially been for the family to run the errand together, but after the farmers market, Tali declared she was too hot, and she was not going to do any more boring errands. So Tony had gone on a solo mission. Ziva wished she had given him the vegetables, she could feel the greens wilt in the heat.

She did not remember it getting so hot last time she lived in the DC area.

Her back twinged, as she finished her ice cream. It had been four days since the truck had arrived outside their house, and everything from their Paris apartment had been emptied into their little house.

The house felt more homely was furniture in it, but it still felt glacial compared to the apartment. They had lost Tali more than once, when she had snuck off to the basement while the adults were upstairs painting the bedrooms and putting up shelves.

They now had three places where they could put a sofa, and only one sofa. It felt ridiculous.

The dining table, just as Ziva had suspected when they packed up the apartment, did not look right in the dining nook that faced the kitchen. It was square, when a rectangle shape would work better, and it was too small.

"What are we going to do tomorrow?" Tali asked.

Sundays had been declared fundays, Tony and Ziva took Tali on an adventure. On the previous Sunday, they had gone to the spy museum in DC, with Tali finding the metro trip one of the most exciting parts. Tony had enjoyed the museum as much as Tali, and Ziva had enjoyed watching her two favourite people enjoy something together.

Tali was such a city child.

"I do not know," Ziva said, as she crunched her ice cream cone, with crumbs falling onto her dress. "What would you like to do?"

Tali pulled her lower lip under her upper lip, her thinking face, and closed her eyes.

Ziva felt a laugh roll through her.

This child, oh how she loved this child.

Ziva finished the ice cream cone, brushed off the crumbs, and through her sunglasses she watched the world around her. They were in the town square area, a few minutes drive from their new home, the car-free area of the main square had been extended for the weekly farmers market, creating the perfect stage for people watching.

Ziva watched as a car tried to turn into the street only to meet a barrier, and turn back out.

A cyclist snaked past the barrier, and Ziva thought of the three bikes that had been moved from the shipping container to the newly pest-free garage. She would not be able to cycle as a form of transport, like she had in Paris, not without risking her life, but she wanted to make sure the bikes did not gather dust.

Maybe, their weekend adventure could involve a bike ride.

A group of teen girls, walked on what was usually a road. The three of them giggled and joked, as they headed toward the main shops.

Ziva looked at Tali, who still had her eyes closed, and then back at the girls.

That could be Tali and her friends one day.

Ziva wondered what Tali would be like as a teenager.

The girls disappeared out of view, and a couple walked past with a baby in a stroller, and an older child scooting next to them.

Ziva hoped that would be them one day.

"Are you still thinking, Neshama Shelli?" Ziva asked.

Tali opened her eyes.

"Can we go to the park?" Tali asked, "The big one., that we can't walk too."

Ziva's smiled glad Tali wanted to get into nature. She did not want to deal with any more crowds this weekend.

"Shall we take our bikes?" Ziva asked.

Tali nodded enthusiastically.

From across the street, Ziva saw a familiar man in cargo shorts, a shirt open over a t-shirt, and a huge hat.

He looked like such a Dad.

"Daddy," Tali called out, as Tony crossed the road.

The bag he had taken with him on his errands was gone.

"Hi Tali," Tony said, "Did you finish your ice cream?"

Tali nodded dramatically. Ziva noticed the splotch of ice cream on Tali's dress.

"Yes," Tali said. "Ima said we can go for a bike ride tomorrow."

"Did she?" Tony asked, as he stood next to Ziva, and tugged the shopping bag from her shoulder.

Ziva let him take the heavy bag. They shared heavy things now.

She bunched her shoulders together, and shook them out, glad to be free of the weight.

"You okay?" he asked, standing so close that she could feel his breath on her ears.

She nodded, but her jaw was still tight.

It had been just a moment. A moment in the crowd of the farmers market, where Tali was out of her sight for just a second.

Tali had been looking at a dog, and not realised that Ziva had moved along.

Once, Tali had realised she couldn't see her mother; she screamed for her parents.

Ima, Ima, Daddy. I can't see you.

Ziva's face flushed red, the panic rose in Ziva as she rushed through the crowd to collect Tali, feeling all those eyes on her.

She could hear their thoughts, what sort of mother lost their child in a market?

Especially in a market.

It had been in a market, where Ziva had to put Tali into Adam's arms.

It had been in a market where she abandoned we Tali.

That had been the hardest thing she ever had to do.

"Is Tali?" he asked.

Tali had held tightly onto her mother's hand for the rest of their time in the market. At one point Tali's grip actually hurt, but Ziva knew better than to tell her that. They were both too shaken.

Ziva had to make peace with the fact that the separation in the market was a trauma for Tali as well. One that had lingering effects.

Your early childhood shapes you, Ziva's old therapist had said in the book lined office. Especially events that happen around age two.

"I think so," Ziva said softly. "I think the ice cream helped."

Tony chuckled, and moved toward Tali. He placed a hand on Tali's shoulder, and Ziva watched as Tali's stance softened.

She was between both of her parents, in her safe place.

"You know there's a lot of stores around here," Tony said, "More than I thought."

People streamed down the sidewalk in the direction of one of the car parks.

The three of them had driven up to the town square during their visit during Tali's spring break. It had all been in a rush, between a house viewing and an interview for Tali's school. The town square had been quiet, filled with retirees enjoying the Spring weather, and foot traffic from the library.

We can go into DC, when we need some excitement, Tony had promised, as they looked at their lunch options.

Now, Ziva did not think they would have to go so far.

"Really?" Tali asked, dragging out the word.

"Yeah," Tony said. "There's so many food places. I hope you're ready to try them all."

Tali smiled, showing her teeth.

"Do you think we'll try them all before I go to my new school?" Tali asked.

Tony scoffed.

"All our stuff is here now," he said, "We can make our own food. Ima makes nice food for us."

They had eaten so much takeout in the last few weeks, most of it healthy choices but all of it expensive.

Ziva was looking forward to setting up the new kitchen and cooking. They had so much room now.

She was looking forward to teaching Tali the same ancient family recipes her mother had taught her. Tali would know how to make the perfect fluffy rice, and falafel from scratch, if she learnt nothing else.

She wanted to have a big table in the nook, where they could have big feasts with all their friends, new and old.

"And, we brought all these vegetables," Ziva said.

Tony patted the bag. Ziva had probably gone overboard with the veggies. At least they had a compost bin now.

"Can we have lunch here?" Tali asked.

Tony looked at Ziva, and looked around the tree lined street.

It was too hot to cook, and it was getting a little late for lunch.

"No pizza," she said pointing her finger at Tony.

Tony did an exaggerated pout. Tali did her puppy dog eyes.

"But, Ima," Tali whined.

Tony pulled his phone from his pocket and opened an app that listed restaurants in the area.

"Why don't you pick somewhere?" he asked. "Somewhere new. Remember that list we made of all the new places we need to find."

The new places list had been an extension of the list Tony and Ziva had made listing all the new services they needed to find; a dentist, a doctor for each of them, and an accountant.

Tali had added an ice cream place to the list on the whiteboard that used to live on the fridge.

Over, a slow Saturday dinner, the three of them had talked about the places they needed to find to make their new place feel like town.

According to the list they needed to find an ice cream place, a pizza place with extra cheesy pizza, and a park with swings that went really high.

Their new house was a twelve minute walk from a park that was attached to a community center.

They had tried every pizza place on their section of the Rockville Pike.

And now, they had an ice cream place. It was not quite walking distance from their home like it had been in Paris, but it was close enough.

They also needed to find a leisure center with a pool, a big park to ride bikes, and a falafel place for when it's Ima's turn to decide on take out.

They had found a leisure center with a pool, and also found out that there was a community pool near their house, which they were planning to join next summer.

They would spend the next day riding bikes in Rock Creek park.

They were yet to find a falafel place, but Ziva had seen a sign for a Lebanese restaurant when they walked to the ice cream shop.

"We have found our ice cream place, have we not?" Ziva asked.

Tali looked down at her sandals.

"What's wrong Small Fry?" Tony asked.

This child had so many nicknames. She knew so much love.

"It's not like it is in Paris," she said.

"No," Tony said. "We're not in Paris anymore."

"They knew who we were at the ice cream shop," Tali said. "They knew that I always wanted strawberry and chocolate, and that you liked to choose a new flavour every time. They didn't know us here."

Tony pulled the bag off his shoulder, and handed it to Ziva. Then he squatted down in front of Tali.

"That's because we're new here," he said. "They don't know us yet. Give it a few weeks, and they'll see us coming through the door and start scooping the strawberry flavour first, because you have it first."

"They did it the other way," Tali said, "Chocolate first."

"Because they didn't know," Tony said.

"It was okay," Tali replied. "It still tasted good, maybe it doesn't matter what order it is."

Tony smirked.

"Remember when Ima first came back," Tony said, "And, they didn't know who she was."

"They thought she was my Nanny," Tali said.

Ziva remembered the tight conversation she had over the ice cream counter after Tali revealed that the woman she was with was in fact her Maman.

Have you been away? the man scooping the ice cream had asked. Something like that, had been Ziva's careful reply.

"Yeah," Tony said, wincing slightly. That memory hurt. "And, by the time you went back to school after lockdown, they knew that Ima loves salted caramel when it's cold, and sorbet when it's hot."

Tali screwed up her face. Her palate was not advanced enough for salted caramel.

"I know it's different here," Tony said. "But, it's good."

Tali nodded.

"Can I pick where we go for lunch?" she asked.

Tony pulled himself up.

"You can look at options," Tony said as he opened the app on his phone. "Ima and I have the final say."

Tali took the phone.

Tony left her to it, and moved toward Ziva. He took the bag from her.

"You are a good father," she said.

Tony looked at Tali.

"I just say the things I wish someone had said to me," he said softly.

Ziva reached for his hand, and squeezed it.

He had been only a year older than Tali was now, when his mother slipped away, and he was dropped off in front of a boarding school.

"Maybe that is what makes you good," Ziva said.

He shrugged.

"I looked at the furniture place you pointed out," he said.

During their search for parking they had gone down a side street, and found a furniture store that was going out of business.

"And?" she asked.

"Can we have Sushi?" Tali asked, not looking up from her phone.

"What else is there?" Tony asked. "Sushi's more like a snack food."

And, Tali never ate any of the fish, which defeated the purpose of going out for sushi.

"Anyway, I can see why it's going out of business," he said. "It was the type of place my Mom would have liked."

Tali looked up from Tony's phone, mentions of her paternal grandmother were so rare.

Ziva wondered if one day Tali would call her Mom.

Mom. Mommy. Mom.

It was so American. It felt so strange, but Tali sometimes called Tony Dad rather than Daddy.

"Louis XV?" Ziva asked, remembering his mother's eccentric taste from one of the first times he had mentioned her.

"Well a cheap rip-off," he said. "Lots of curved backs and cushions on chairs, way too delicate for our house."

They were the family that built blanket forts, had dance parties, and turned the dining table into an artist studio. They needed durable furniture.

"Are we going shopping, again?" Tali whined.

"Not today," Tony said. "It's the weekend. Remember we agreed to only do fun stuff on the weekend."

"Good," Tali said. "Why would Daddy's Ima like the furniture?"

Ziva felt an ache in her chest hearing Tali refer to Tony's mother as his Ima.

She was Tali's schema of a mother.

It was a lot of weight to carry.

Ziva pulled her phone from the pocket of her trousers, and googled the furniture style. She handed her phone to Tony who nodded, and he handed the phone to Tali.

"The furniture looked like that," Tony said. "My Mom liked that style."

Tali held a phone in each hand, and Ziva wondered what someone walking past would say when recalling this scene.

The child, she looked like she was only seven, was holding a phone in each hand. Honestly, kids today. All those screens.

Tony plucked his phone from Tali's hand and put it in his pocket.

"It looks like museum furniture," Tali said.

Ziva thought of the castle they had visited during Tali's mid-winter break. Tali did not always enjoy museums, but she had loved the castle. They had to keep swatting her hands away when she wanted to touch things.

"Exactly," Tony said. "And, we don't want to live in a museum."

Tali handed Ziva's phone to Tony, and he handed it back to Ziva.

"Ima," Tali started. "What type of furniture did your Ima like?"

The apartment in the sky came back to Ziva quickly, as that had been the only place her mother had been allowed to decorate. She had offered to redecorate the farmhouse once, but her father had refused.

Ziva's chest ached as she thought of the farmhouse as it was now, just burnt out rubble.

"She liked simple styles," Ziva said, "And, things that were easy to clean. My Ima did not like to clean."

Tali nodded. She could understand that. Nobody liked cleaning.

"Did your Daddy not help with cleaning?" Tali asked.

Ziva wanted to laugh. Her father had never washed a dish in that apartment in the sky.

Tony coughed slightly, trying to mask a laugh.

"No," Ziva said. "My father was away for work a lot. He did not help at home."

Tali nodded.

"So, he was not like Daddy?" Tali asked.

Ziva felt her heart heave. Tony was nothing like Eli.

"No," she said softly. "My father was very different from your father."

Ziva realised then, that this would be how Tali would get to know Eli. She would know him from memories.

She would never be disappointed by him.

"Did you decide what you want for lunch?" Tony asked.

Tali looked up at him.

"There's too many choices," Tali declared.

Tony pulled his phone out of his pocket.

"I saw a falafel place," Ziva said, "The same chain that was by the Navy Yard."

Tony put his phone back in his pocket.

"That falafel place by the Navy Yard is long gone," he said. "It closed way before I left. I think losing its most loyal customer really put a dent in its profits."

Ziva felt a wave of sadness, even though it had been nearly a decade since she had visited the restaurant.

People change. Places change.

Tali looked at her parents, she was always a little put out when they mentioned the life they had a life before her.

"Which way?" he asked.

Ziva pointed in the direction of where the farmers market was.

Tali moved, and took her place between her parents, taking a hand from each of them. The sidewalk was wide, they could walk in a line for a little while.

"McDaddy messaged me," Tony started.

"I do not think you should call him McDaddy," Ziva said. "It sounds R-rated."

A grin came over Tony's face.

The three of them ambled along the sidewalk.

"Delilah's going to Dubai next week." Tony said. "I thought we could organise a play date over the weekend, so that McGoo can have some adult company, and Tali can hang out with some kids."

Ziva thought of the kitchen, of feeding a gang around a table.

"I like that idea," Ziva said.

The McFamily lived in a high rise apartment, after out growing Tony's one-bedroom, and did not have access to a yard. Ziva could so easily imagine the twins running around with Tali on the green grass, while the adults watched from the deck.

They passed a gift shop, an Asian supermarket and a Mexican restaurant. This town square had so much to explore.

"Would you like that?" Tony asked Tali. "Bossing the twins around for a few hours, and showing them your new room."

"Yeah," Tali said. "We would have lots of fun."

The street became the main square, and standing by the splash pad was Tony's father, his face hidden by a huge Panama hat, and shirt sleeves rolled up to his elbows.

Tali let go of her parents, and ran toward her grandfather.

"Pop-Pop," she called out, as she ran toward Senior, almost toppling him over.

"Hello, Sweetheart," Senior said as they walked a few feet ahead.

"He was in the neighbourhood apparently," Tony explained. "I think he just wanted to see Tali. He called me when he was on the metro, I couldn't exactly tell him to go home."

Senior lived on the other side of the Potomac river, and had given up his driver's licence a few years ago, meaning he would have to take two metro trains to get to them, so Ziva doubted Senior was just in the neighbourhood.

They had seen Senior at least three times a week since they moved back, and it seemed that he did not have much else going on.

"Seeing as Dad's here," Tony said, as they reached the corner, and stood in front of a bar and restaurant "I was thinking we should try this place."

Ziva looked at the closed restaurant, with its white table cloths, and shelf of liquors behind the bar.

It was not exactly child friendly, as well behaved as Tali could be in public.

"It looks very nice," Ziva said.

Tali was recounting her day to Senior, including the time where she lost her parents in the market.

Trauma had to be talked about to be processed, and Tali was processing.

"Dad would be happy to look after Tali," Tony said. "And we need to get some dates in before the W-E-D-D-I-N-G."

Tali knew about their upcoming nuptials, but her parents knew better than to discuss their wedding in front of Tali. She had a lot of opinions.

"I can't marry you, having only been on a handful of dates," he whispered, Tali was still nearby.

"We have a seven year old," Ziva said.

"All the more reason to go on some dates," he said. "We didn't go on nearly enough when we were in Paris."

"I think the global pandemic may have had something to do with that," Ziva said.

"Let's make up for lost time," he said softly. "Maybe not this weekend, but maybe next weekend we can ask Dad to stay over and I'll take you out on the town, but we'll be home by ten because we're old now."

Tony's fiftieth birthday had passed during their move without much fanfare, and Ziva's upcoming birthday would be the last one in her thirties.

They were getting age.

It amazed her, simply because she had never imagined living so long.

Senior turned around, as he and Tali reached the restaurant.

"This one?" Senior asked, pointing to the sign of the familiar chain.

Ziva nodded, and watched as Senior and Tali walked into the restaurant hand in hand.

"You know," Tony started, as they followed Senior and Tali. "These last few days, it's really started to feel like we're home, not just some sort of stressful vacation."

They walked into the restaurant, and found Tali and Senior at the back of the line. Tali was now talking about Odette's dog, again.

Tali really wanted a dog of her own.

"It does," Ziva said softly.

She thought of that diner two years ago, of McGee sitting in front of her for the first time in over half a decade, and his kind words; come home Ziva.

Home was not something she had in such a long time. Home was not something she thought she deserved for even longer.

And, now with her partner and daughter in tow, she was home.


	4. It Takes A Village

Tim closed the sliding door behind him, and placed the tray he was carrying on the outdoor table.

"That's not how you do it," Tony complained, as he and Ziva stood in front of the grill, both of them holding tongs. Ziva's hair was pulled into a French braid like she used to do at crime scenes to prevent cross-contamination. "Let me do it."

"I know how to grill," Ziva replied. "Israeli grill is a thing."

The meat on the grill sizzled. Down on the grass the kids played, with loose supervision from Senior. A few houses over, Tim could hear another larger gathering around a grill.

This was suburbia, and there were probably similar scenes playing out across the region, on this warm summer night.

"This isn't Israeli grill," Tony declared, waving his tongs in front of her, he was wearing an apron over his outfit, the apron declared him to be the Best Dad Ever, no doubt it had been some sort of Fathers Day present. "This is American barbeque, look at all this meat."

Ziva rolled her eyes.

Morgan giggled as she and Tali shared secrets by the big tree at the end of the yard. The newly erected tyre swing had proved popular with all the kids, including the biggest kid of them all, Tony.

Tim looked up toward the sky, enjoying feeling the evening sun on his face, and the peace of the lazy Saturday.

"And this eggplant," Ziva said, pointing to the slice of eggplant that was darkening with the heat. "And these vegetable kebabs."

Tony scoffed.

"You're the only one who eats the veggies," Tony replied. "The kids definitely won't."

Tim's heart warmed hearing his kids, and Tali being referred as a collective.

"Not true," Ziva said. "Tali loves eggplant, and your doctor said you need to eat more fibre."

Tim smirked to himself, if it wasn't for the kids playing on the lawn, and the chronic exhaustion that had plagued him since he turned forty, he would have thought that they were back in the pumpkin walled squadroom.

"You okay there, McThirdWheel," Tony asked.

And, just like that the two of them turned their bickering with each other to making fun of him.

It was just like old times.

"I was just pinching myself," Tim said, "For a moment I thought we were back at NCIS."

Tony and Ziva both laughed.

"Some things do not change, yes," Ziva said softly, as she surrendered the grill to Tony, and walked across the deck to pick up a glass of water.

Her shoes clip-clopped on the wood of the deck.

"Well, I'd argue a lot has changed," Tony countered. "I mean our kids are playing in the yard, and two of us don't have a badge anymore."

From his place on the deck, Tim could see into the garden, Tali and Morgan were still playing on with the swing, and Johnny and Senior were on the driveway with some sidewalk chalk.

Johnny had a heart shaped bandaid on his knee, from when he had fallen over earlier in the day.

Morgan's sunhat was laying in the grass, having been discarded the minute one of the grown-ups turned their backs.

"And, I'm still the third wheel," Tim declared. "Except, I'm the Senior Field Agent now."

The stage was mostly the same, but the players were different.

Hopefully they made less of a mess than their predecessors.

Ziva shook her head. Her earrings shook, Tali had proudly told her McUncle that the dangly earrings had been a Mother's Day present that Tali had helped pick out.

"I told him that he needed to stop being such a wuss nearly two years ago," Ziva said with an exasperated sigh.

Tony rolled his eyes. Nick and Ellie was obviously something they disagreed on.

"If someone you barely knew had told you to fight your fears, all those years ago, would you?" Tony asked, "Because I don't think I would have."

People had tried to point the two of them in the right direction, so many times, but there had been no action.

Hell, Tim had written two books trying to point them in the right direction.

It had only taken nearly a decade and a half, a secret child, and a lot of pain for them to get there.

If Tim had suggested their story, as a plot of the long forgotten sequel in the LJ Tibbs series, he would have been laughed out of his editors office, because the plot would be too ridiculous.

"I just do not want the two of them to make our mistakes," Ziva said softly. "We wasted so much time."

Tony turned the sausages on the grill.

"They'll work it out," Tony said softly. "We did in the end."

"Hopefully soon," Tim added. "It would make work so much easier."

Tony scoffed. No doubt thinking of the oft-broken rule twelve.

Tim was still not clear on how many times Tony and Ziva had broken the infamous rule when they were both in the team, nor what exactly happened during that summer Gibbs was in Mexico, and Tony and Ziva seemed so close.

"I think you enjoy it," Tony said. "You get to be McVouyer, and go home and talk Delilah about it."

Tim frowned, most of what he and Delilah talked about these days was childcare arrangements, and which tv series they would optimistically load up to binge watch when the kids went to sleep only for them both to fall asleep by the second episode.

They needed a vacation. Maybe, they'd get one in the next five years.

"The two of you were not as interesting as you thought you were," Tim said. "I am glad you worked it all out."

"Us too," Tony said, as he moved another sausage ever so slightly.

Grilling was an art not a science.

"I think we should eat out here," Ziva announced, as she looked out onto the yard. Senior was engrossed in Johnny's art. Morgan and Tali were still playing by the tree. "The weather is still nice, and the children can have a picnic."

"Sounds good," Tony said, as he reached out for Ziva, resting his hand on her hip. "It's nice to have all this outdoor space. We should make the most of it."

Ziva opened the sliding door, and slipped into the house. Her red mules, the type of shoe Tim could never picture wearing, at least when they all worked together, sounded like horse hooves on the hardwood floor.

"Want something stronger?" Tony asked, pointing the tongs toward the glasses of water. "We've got beer in the fridge."

Tim shook his head.

"Nah," he said. "I've still gotta drive."

That and he was running on about twelve hours sleep for the whole week.

"Are you still okay to take Dad back?" Tony asked, as he flipped one of the burger patties.

Senior's apartment was minutes away from Tony's old apartment, which Ellie now lived in, and only fifteen minutes away from Tim and Delilah's new three bedroom apartment. It made sense for Tim to take Senior home, rather than have Tony make the trip out there and then turn around and drive for another forty minutes to get home.

"Of course," Tim said, "It's the least I can do, after today."

He had arrived at the David-DiNozzo house mid-morning and absolutely depleted. Delilah was in Dubai, trying desperately to get her career back on track. It had been her career that had been sidelined during the pandemic, when the daycares were closed, and she was deemed high risk. Arguably it had been Delilah's career that had taken the backseat when they had the twins.

When they had found out about the pregnancy, Tim and Delilah had those late night conversations promising that they would equal in parenting.

Then Tim had gotten captured in Paraguay, one baby had turned into two, and it all became very real. Their lofty idealistic parenting conversations fell by the wayside.

Then Delilah's mother gave up her tenured position at a prestigious university to move to DC to be closer to them, and fill the gaps in their childcare arrangement. They both knew they leaned on her too heavily, but she kept their house of cards from falling.

When they were both home, the parenting load was definitely shared equally, and based on who could do what, but Tim was home much less than Delilah.

In that little hospital room, while Delilah slept, Tim had held a baby in each arm, and promised not to be his Dad.

Family would always come first.

But balance was so much harder in practice than it was in theory.

"All we did was take the kids off your hands for a couple of hours," Tony said.

While Delilah was in Dubai, the team had caught a rather intense case that needed Tim's computer skills, leaving Tim juggling the balls of work and family, without catching any of them. Delilah's mother had stepped in to do the end of day pick up, and got the twins to bed. He had aimed to get home for bedtime each night, but between traffic, and witnesses living in far flung places, most of the bedtime stories that week had been over facetime.

When the team had closed the case on Friday lunchtime, he was glad it was over, but also so exhausted.

By the time he arrived at Tony and Ziva's house eighteen hours later, the exhaustion had not left him, and his friends had seen through his veneer.

Within minutes, Ziva had started cooking scrambled eggs, declaring the cereal was not a real breakfast, and a plan had been made. Tony and Ziva would take Tali and the twins to the park down the street for at least an hour, giving Tim some quiet time, and then once they got back they would all do something in the house together, something that required limited parental supervision.

"It was a good nap," Tim said. "Best, I've had in a long time."

Tony smirked, and then turned down the heat on the grill.

Tim had tried to ignore the awkwardness of being almost alone in someone else's home, when he settled in on the couch with a podcast, and before the first episode had finished he was asleep.

He was awoken three hours later, to Morgan and Johnny climbing all over him, and Ziva asking what he wanted for lunch.

Over a messy lunch, where his job was to supervise the kids at the table, while Tony and Ziva ate while standing at the counter, the kids had recounted their day. They had stepped into the library for a bit of air conditioning after their walk to the park, and found a toddler story time class, which Tony had taken the twins to, while Ziva and Tali picked up some new books to borrow.

Then they had gone to the park, and Tali had seen a dog.

In the last eight hours, Tim had learnt that Tali really liked dogs.

And, also that Tali really wanted a dog.

"It's a good sleeping couch," Tony said. "I've had many good sleeps there."

"You guys have only been in this house a month," Tim said. "And, Ziva's already sent you to the couch."

Tony shook his head.

"No," he said softly. "We don't go to bed angry, but I've had that couch a while, and definitely fell asleep there a few times when Ziva wasn't with us."

Tim felt an ache in his gut.

In this little garden, miles away from the Navy Yard, it was easy to forget that it had only been a little over two years since he found out that Ziva was alive.

It had only been a little over a year and a half since Jimmy had driven Ziva to the airport, so she could reunite with Tony and Tali just in time for Christmas.

How far they'd come.

"It's been a good day," Tony said, as he looked out at the garden. Tali and Morgan had abandoned the tire swing, and moved to the driveway, and started drawing with the sidewalk chalk. Senior stood proudly over his little artists. "Tali doesn't really get a chance to hang out with younger kids, and we worry sometimes that we don't socialise her enough."

"I guess cousins are good for that," Tim said.

Not that Tim had grown up with cousins.

He had resisted Tony referring to Tali as the twins' cousin at first, but now watching them play in the garden, it felt right.

They were a family. A weird family, but a family nonetheless.

"Yeah," Tony said. "I think she enjoys being the bossy big cousin, I was always the annoying little cousin."

There was a light knock from inside the house, and Ziva stood behind the sliding door, her arms full, with a plate of bread balanced on a salad bowl.

Tim rushed to open the door, and Ziva stepped through. Her mules clip-clopped on the deck.

"Did you have cousins?" Tim asked Ziva, as he took the bread from her, and laid in on the table.

Ziva placed the salad on the table, and Tim peaked inside the bowl to survey the contents. Within a second he knew his kids wouldn't touch the salad.

He wondered if Tali would eat it, but then again she'd lived in France for so long that she was practically French, and all those guilt-laden parenting books said French kids ate nearly everything.

"No," Ziva said, sadness seeping into her voice. "But, in the apartment building I grew up in, there was always a gang of kids to hang out with. It is good for children to have other children to spend time with. We are trying to find that for Tali."

Tim stood still for a second, taken aback by how openly Ziva talked about her childhood, and related it to Tali's childhood.

This Ziva was a different iteration, lighter and less burdened despite everything that had happened to her.

Tim just wished that one of those kids she had hung around with, hadn't been the man who killed her father.

"We would like to give her a sibling," Ziva said, looking out to where the kids were playing. "But, we know that would be different, with the age difference."

Ziva turned to Tony, and they shared a look, a longing look.

Tim thought of his own childhood, of the baby sister thrust on him just before his tenth birthday. Of the sister that was loved, but trapped their mother in a decaying marriage for another decade.

Tim's relationship with Sarah was so different from Delilah's relationship with her sister who was only separated in age by twenty two short months. The Fielding sisters had inside jokes, and bickered over transatlantic skype calls.

With Sarah, it felt like they had grown up in different houses.

The Admiral had been kinder to Sarah, and putting less expectations on her.

Sarah was also closer to their mother, less hurt by her new marriage, and the life she was building.

Sarah sent presents to the twins, and remembered birthdays, but their lives were so different.

Perhaps, if Sarah had kids they would find their way to each other again.

Perhaps, if Sarah had been the older sibling and Tim the younger things would have been different.

Perhaps, if Sarah had been born a boy, and felt the weight of their Dad's expectations things would have been different.

"Wow," Tim muttered, as Ziva slipped back into the house, closing the sliding door softly.

Tim tried to not to stare at the red shoes. This Ziva was a different Ziva.

"Yeah," Tony said, as he lifted a veggie kebab up with the tongs to inspect it. "Pretty crazy, right."

Tim thought of the scare had and Delilah had just before his vasectomy, and the relief that had washed over him when Delilah had announced that she had gotten her period. As ridiculous as he had been about his little snip, he was glad he had done it. He could not imagine having a baby in the middle of the pandemic.

We were so lucky with the twins, Delilah had said as she suggested the vasectomy, I don't want our luck to run out.

Pregnancy had wreaked havoc on her body. She had fought so hard to regain her independence after the injury, and pregnancy put so many limits on her. The transfers she had mastered became difficult, and low level fear they lived with of a UTI becoming serious was heightened for six months.

Especially when they found out there were two babies.

"We know it's crazy," Tony said. "I mean I just turned fifty, and Tali's already seven. Maybe, if we hadn't been through so much, things would be different."

Tim thought again of Jimmy and Breena, who had been trying to give little Tori a sibling before the pandemic, and had yet to be successful. They were not looking to expand their family through fostering.

Not all pregnancies happened so easily.

"Because you both missed stuff?" Tim asked.

Tony looked down at his feet.

"We know we can't change the past," Tony said, "And it would not be to replace Tali or make up for anything. We just really want this."

Tim nodded.

He thought of one of those transatlantic calls he and Tony shared when the twins were young, where Tony admitted that sometimes it was hard to look at photos of the twins and not think about what he missed with Tali.

The twins were now three going on four, right in the middle of the years Ziva had been absent for.

"Do you think it was hard for Ziva to be around the twins today?" Tim asked. "Like it used to be for you."

Tony looked down at his feet. At the boat shoes, he seemed to live in the warmer months, based on the photos he sent to their long running group chat.

Tim thought about the afternoon, where Ziva had helped the twins make cookies for Delilah and their grandmother, after they'd had their post lunch quiet time, and how she would move between looking at Morgan and looking at Tali, comparing and contrasting.

"Probably," Tony said. "We've both made peace with what happened, and we'll probably talk about it later, once Tali's in bed. We talk about stuff now."

"I hope it happens for you guys," Tim said softly. "Having another baby."

"Us too," Tony replied.

Tim looked over toward the kids, who were still enjoying hanging out with Senior.

Johnny then called Senior Pop-Pop.

Tim felt an ache in his gut, his children would never know either of their grandfathers.

Maybe they could adopt Senior, and Tali could share Delilah's mother, as she was lacking on the grandmother front. If only family could be easily reassembled with who was left, to fill in the gaps.

The twins will trade time with their grandmother for time with Tali's Pop-Pop.

Tim was sure that Senior would be happy to be an honorary Pop-Pop. When the twins had been born, the older man had left two gift baskets in front of the apartment. The sleep deprived new parents had assumed the presents were from Tony, but when Tim had called Tony to thank him for the presents, Tony had no idea.

"It's nice here," Tim said. "It's so close to the train too."

He looked around the garden, directing his gaze to the apartment building that jutted into the sky, by the metro station. Tony and Ziva had managed to get a unicorn of a house for the DC area; single family, reasonable price, and walking distance to a metro station on a reliable line.

And, if they ever finished the purple line, Tony and Ziva would be even better connected to some of the more exciting places in the region.

"Yeah," Tony said. "We got used to being able to walk or take transit everywhere in Paris, so it's been a bit of an adjustment driving almost everywhere."

Ziva knocked on the door again from the inside, and Tim opened the door. Ziva carried plates of various sizes and colours and placed them on the now-crowded table. She had a picnic blanket slung over her shoulder.

The red mules still seemed so un-Zivalike, and Tim was surprised Tony hadn't made any Wizard of Oz references.

"We should do this again," Ziva said, "With Delilah as well."

Tim looked back through the sliding door, and through to the front door, trying to work out how difficult it would be for Delilah to navigate the house. There were only two steps into the house, which they would be able to manage, and if Delilah wanted to get into the garden she could go out the front door and follow the path to the driveway, and then wheel down the driveway to reach the garden. It would be long winded, but doable.

"Yeah," Tim said. "It'll be good for the kids to hang out."

"And, I would like to get to know Delilah better," Ziva said, as she handed Tony a child sized plate for him to the start dishing up.

It was so strange to think that two women who had been in Tim's life for eight years and sixteen years respectively barely knew each other.

"And once you and Delilah get your McHouse, you guys can host," Tony said, as he put a sausage on the plastic plate.

Tim frowned, his and Delilah's house hunt moved at a snail's pace.

The plan, once they determined that Tony's apartment was too small, was to rent a two or three bedroom apartment, and then after about a year they would buy a place. They wanted the kids to have a forever home, and they wanted to be able to renovate, so Delilah could have a fully accessible bathroom rather than just make do like she had for the last seven years.

"Might have to wait a while," Tim said, as Ziva handed him the kid sized plate, so he could add the salad and bread for Morgan.

Their wishlist for the McHouse was short but hard to tick off. The home needed to be a reasonable commute to both McGee and Delilah's jobs, be all on one level with little renovation required, and in a good school district.

They usually managed two out of the three.

Accessibility was almost never one of the two they ticked off.

The stairs of the deck creaked, as Senior made his way up them, holding the railing tightly.

"Just in time," Senior declared. "The little Picassos are hungry."

The kids were following behind Senior, holding out their chalk covered hands. Ziva smiled, and placed the plastic plate she was holding on the table.

"Come on little ones," Ziva said, as she opened the sliding door. "Shall we wash our hands for dinner?

Ziva led the three kids through the sliding door, into the house, and up the stairs like the pied piper.

"You know the place across the street is for sale," Senior said, still holding onto the railing of the deck. "It has a ramp outside."

Tim had seen the single level ranch style house, when he had parked the car earlier that day, and had registered the ramp.

His and Delilah's house search had mostly focused on condos, as neither of them wanted to do lawn care, and so few of the available single family houses that were available were anything close to accessible.

There were just so many stairs in the DMV area.

Tim thought of the house across the street again, it would be a long commute for both Tim and Delilah, and miles from Delilah's mother's downsizer condo.

But, it would be across the street from family.

All the parenting books said that they needed a village, and maybe they could build a village with Tony and Ziva.

Senior shuffled along the deck and into the house.

"Are the schools good here?" Tim asked Tony.

Tony shrugged.

"Good, but overcrowded," Tony said, repeating something that Tim heard often. It seemed nearly every school in the region was at capacity. "We're sending Tali to the Jewish day school for now. Her old school was pretty small, and we think dumping her in a class of thirty-five would freak her out."

Tim looked back into the house, at his own kids' backpacks that were sitting on the couch, soon they would move from their little Montessori based preschool to a huge public school. It would be a big jump.

"I know she seems fine," Tony said softly, "But both Ziva and I worry that some of the stuff she went through, will come back to bite us. We liked the idea of her being somewhere smaller where there could be support, if she needs it."

Tim's stomach ached again. There had been so much pain.

Tim thought again of the house across the street, of the kids running between the two houses. Of easy Saturday afternoon barbeques. Of those moments that happened with planning between families that were close.

It had been like that on some of the bases, he had lived on as a kid, not with his family, but with other families. In the hot California summers, wives of the enlisted would go between each other's houses, carrying paddling pools, wine coolers and with sunburnt kids trailing behind them.

"We were looking into the international school near Bethesda," Tony continued, as he loaded the plates for the kids. "She went to an International School when we lived in Paris, but when we went on the tour we didn't like it. It was so buttoned up. The Jewish school was more relaxed, Ziva was worried that I might feel a bit left out, but there's a few interfaith families there, we're on an email list for interfaith families."

Tim felt a laugh roll through him.

"You okay?" Tony asked.

"I just can't believe we're here," Tim said, still smiling. "Talking about schools and with our kids upstairs washing their hands. I mean a decade ago I didn't even know Delilah, and you and Ziva, well you and Ziva were. Actually, who knows what you and Ziva were doing a decade ago."

Tony let out a laugh.

"It's crazy, isn't it?" he said. "Look at us now, you managed to find a woman who agreed to marry you-"

"At least I'm married," Tim interjected.

"Ziva and I will be," Tony said, "In about six weeks. We're gonna do it right here, with a chuppah and everything."

Tony pointed to the yard.

"Were you going to tell anyone about this?" Tim asked.

It would be very on brand for Tony and Ziva to elope.

"All four members of the McFamily are going home with an invitation this evening," Tony said, his voice calm. "And I have to go to a meeting for my new job on Tuesday, so I was gonna get the metro to the Navy Yard, and give invites out to the rest of the crew."

"You know you have to change lines to do that," Tim said.

Tim was pretty sure Tony never used the DC metro when he last lived in the states.

Paris had changed him, mostly for the better.

"I know," he said. "And, if I plan it right, I'll avoid the rush hour when I go home. I'm too old to stand for thirty minutes."

Tim marveled at the changed man before him, who had finally seen the merits of public transit.

"So, you're gonna do it right here?" Tim asked, "In the yard?"

Tony nodded.

"Yeah," he said. "It's gonna be super casual, I mean we already have a seven year old, and Odettte's bringing her dog. So we can't exactly do a sit down dinner, and that's not really our style."

"You're saving yourselves a lot of stress," Tim said, remembering the big July wedding he and Delilah had planned but had, eloping in the apartment instead. With a dead body under the floorboards.

"We've had enough stress," Tony said. "We just want to have everyone we love, and everyone who's helped up get to this point, to be in a room together, while we say all the things we should have said already."

"I can't wait," Tim said.

"Neither can Tali," Tony replied. "She has a lot of opinions about the wedding planning. We're letting her choose the cake. So we're probably going to end up with a pink wedding cake."

Tim smirked.

"We're not doing a wedding party," Tony said. "I mean if we include the dog, it's still going to be less than twenty guests, but we do need four people to hold the chuppah. Do you wanna be one of them?"

Pride warmed Tim.

He was proud of his friends for finally getting themselves sorted out.

He was proud to be one of the people holding up the chuppah for them.

"Yeah," Tim said. "I'd like that."

"Good," Tony said, as the sliding door opened, and the kids ran out onto the deck, showing off their clean hands.

"We're hungry," Morgan declared, speaking for all three of them.

Ziva laid down the picnic blanket on the grass, and the kids took their seats. Tony carried the plates down the stairs, where the kids waited, with their tanned legs crossed, and hungry eyes.

"Welcome Ladies and Gentleman," Tony announced, in a silly voice, as he laid down the plates. The kids giggled. "Tonight's chef's special is fusion of good ol' fashioned American barbeque, and Israeli grill."

Ziva came back up onto the deck, to collect a chair for Senior, so he could enjoy the picnic too. Her face was plastered with a smile.

Tim googled the real estate listing for the house across the street, checked that the house was actually accessible, and sent it to Delilah, with the message.

Two out of three, but look at the location.

Then he both his and Senior's plates, and walked down the steps to have dinner with his children.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I haven't watched a full episode that doesn't feature CdP, but from the clips I've seen of the show, the writers don't seem to delve much into Tim's personal life, or at least the messy parts of it. Hence, sharing some of Tim's thought here. 
> 
> I am not a wheelchair user, nor in an interabled relationships, but I have been reading a lot of memiors by female wheelchair users. 
> 
> Also, I was hot and cold about making the McFamily opposite neighbours to the David-DiNozzo's but the muse has latched onto the idea now, so if it's not your jam, thanks for reading, and see you around.


	5. A Little Dissappointment

Tony stood on the platform of the metro station, and watched as the train moved North. The handful of other passengers who had gotten off at this stop, walked toward the parking lot, toward the main road behind them. Tony looked out over the platform, in the direction of his house, even though he could not see his roof, behind the McMansions that had been built, by tearing down the more modest homes in the area.

He headed toward the pedestrian walkway, ahead of him a woman and a child, were walking and pushing a stroller. Tony caught snatches of their conversation, and thought of when Tali had been that little.

He thought of their long walks on the streets of Paris, when Tali was full of wonder. When one of her favourite things was for him to weave the stroller up the path, while making car noises. She would squeal with delight, and for just a moment they could both forget that Ziva was not with them.

He loved Tali as she was now, with the intelligence she definitely got from Ziva coming out, but he also missed her at that age.

She had been so innocent.

Maybe, one day he would get to have those moments with another child, and with Ziva next to him.

Maybe, one day.

He reached the end of the walkway, and turned into the street. The map, and the realtor who sold them the house, had claimed that the metro was just a ten minute walk away from the house. Close to a metro stop had been on the wishlist for the house.

He felt a smile warm his face, as he walked down the path.

He had hauled his fifty year old body, to his new job for an orientation meeting, carrying anxiety on his shoulders. It had been five years since he had worked, and this was a whole new career. He wasn't sure if he could do it.

A career pivot, he had called it when he explained it to McGee while they were standing in front of the grill the previous weekend.

Yet, within minutes of stepping into the office, the anxiety had slipped away. He had met clients the organisation had helped find new careers, and been referred to as the new coach.

Once upon a time, when his knees didn't ache in the morning, and he thought that fifty was exceptionally old, he had thought he would be retired at fifty, with a big house and a revolving door of women.

He was glad it turned out to be the opposite. He loved coming home to his family, and he was sure he would love his new job.

Through his earbuds, Sinatra declared that he had done it his way, and Tony smiled to himself.

Tony reached his house, and noticed Tali's scooter had been discarded on the driveway, and that the sidewalk chalk had been given another outing.

Down the street a dog barked.

Tony looked across the street, at the house with a ramp, and it's for sale sign in the window.

The McFamily had not viewed the house yet, but Tony already thought it might be the McForeverhome.

He could so easily picture Tali and the twins running between the houses, and shared dinners between the families.

When they had brought the house, they had worried that they were so far away from their favourite people. There was an adage in the DMV area, that your friend in Alexandria will not visit your friend in Bethesda, and they now lived north of Bethesda, whereas most of their favourite people lived on the Virginia side of the Potomac. They had decided to look in their area anyway, reasoning that the area was closer to Alexandria than Paris had been, and because it met their lifestyle needs.

Now, they might have family across the street.

Tony walked up the driveway, and onto the path, noticing that the sidewalk chalk had traveled far and wide. Tali had tagged her name in multiple colours. Ziva had helped her write her name in Hebrew at some point.

He opened his front door, and was greeted by a basket of laundry on the couch, and his father doing a puzzle with Tali at the dining table.

"Hello Family," he called out, as he pulled off his shoes, hung up his brand new work backpack, and took his reusable coffee cup from his bag.

"Hi Junior," Senior called out, looking up from the glasses were halfway down his nose.

"Hi Daddy," Tali said, a huge smile on her face, and hair falling out of her pigtails.

Tony put his coffee cup in the dishwasher, and noticed the quiche cooling on the kitchen counter.

He navigated around the kitchen island, and stood behind Tali. He placed a hand on her shoulder and a kiss on her head. Soaking in her smell.

She smelt like sunscreen.

She did not smell like chlorine, Ziva was supposed to have taken Tali swimming while Tony was out, as a treat.

"What are we doing?" Tony asked, as he moved slightly, and placed a hand on his Dad's shoulder.

"A puzzle," Tali said. "Pop-Pop brought it with him, it's a picture of Paris."

Tony could see the tip of the Eiffel Tower on the edge of the puzzle.

"Ziva invited me for lunch," Senior said. "I thought I better not turn up empty handed."

"So, no swimming today?" Tony asked.

Tali shook her head. More hair fell out of her pigtails.

"Ima said we can go tomorrow," Tali said, "She said it's going to be really hot tomorrow, and you can come with us if we go tomorrow."

Tony nodded, but his gut ached. Something was wrong.

"Where is Ima?" he asked.

Senior pointed to the ceiling, and then put a puzzle piece o the table,

"She's having quiet time," Tali announced, as she examined two puzzle pieces. "So we're doing a puzzle."

Quiet time, was what they called it when either of them needed a break, it had started during the first lockdown in Paris, when tensions were frayed with the three of them on top of each other. Each parent got a chance to just sit in the room, and not be disturbed.

Now, after the lockdowns, quiet time had stayed a part of their family vocabulary, with Ziva sometimes needing a time out, when she was having a bad day.

Tali sometimes evoked it when she wanted to go be by herself.

Tony picked up a piece of the puzzle and placed it in its place near the right corner.

"She okay?" Tony asked, directing his conversation more to his Dad than Tali.

Senior nodded.

"Said she was tired," Senior said, as he held the puzzle pieces in front of him.

"She's grumpy," Tali announced, and Tony felt his heart sink. "She's really quiet."

They wanted to shield Tali from the darkness of the world, but she saw right through it.

"I think she's just tired," Senior said again.

"You get pretty grumpy when you're tired," Tony said to Tali, trying to lighten the mood.

Tali shrugged her shoulders.

"Pop-Pop said he did lots of puzzles last year," Tali said, "He said he'll bring more over next time."

"Remember he used to show us," Tony said. "When we facetimed him?"

Tony remembered the long skype sessions, when Senior was all alone in his apartment during the shelter in place order, and there was a new puzzle on the table every couple of days. Tony always left those conversations with an ache in his heart, his Dad was so far away, and so alone.

"I have one Big Ben in London," Senior said, "Maybe we can do that next, or the one of Lady Liberty. I have lots of puzzles."

Tony looked toward the stairs, and then back at his Dad.

"I'm gonna talk to Ima," he said stepping back from the table.

"You're not supposed to disturb quiet time," Tali said. "It's the rules."

Senior raised an eyebrow.

"I'll see if she wants to talk to me," Tony said, placiating his daughter. "If she doesn't want to talk to me, I'll come back and help you with the puzzle."

Tali and Senior nodded, and returned to their puzzle.

Tony rushed up the stairs, past the family photos that he and Ziva had hung the day before.

Their bedroom was the first room off the landing, and the door was ajar.

Tony knocked on the door.

"Hey Ziva," he said, "I know we usually don't disturb quiet time, but I'm just checking in."

There was silence from the other side of the door. No shuffling of blankets. No snoring.

Tony pressed on the door, and the door opened. Their bed came into view. It was unmade.

Suddenly there was a weight on his back, and arms wrapped around his torso. His heart jumped into his throat.

"Hi," Ziva whispered, her voice soft.

He rubbed his chest, trying to calm down. Ziva let go of him.

That little move had shaved years off his life.

"You've still got it ninja," he murmured, as he turned around, and wrapped his arms around her waist. "Where were you hiding?"

Ziva pointed toward the room at the end of the hall. The empty bedroom.

"What were you doing in there?" he asked, as he studied her face, looking for signs of distress.

"Sitting," Ziva said, "Thinking."

"You okay?" he asked.

"I will be," she replied.

His gut ached. That didn't make him feel any better.

Ziva wriggled out of his embrace and walked toward the empty room.

He followed her.

"So, what have I done?" he asked, as he stepped into the room.

They had slowly been furnishing the house, adding furniture, and putting up pictures, but this room remained empty.

"Nothing," Ziva said. "I am not angry."

"Tali said you're grumpy," Tony said. "I must have done something to make you grumpy."

"You have not done anything," Ziva said.

"But you're not okay?" he asked.

Ziva's face scrunched into a frown.

"Tali said you were doing quiet time, and that you didn't go swimming today," he said. "You seemed so pumped for swimming yesterday."

"I got my period this morning," Ziva announced.

Tony frowned in confusion. He knew that some women did not like to go swimming when they were on the crimson tide, but he did not think Ziva was one of them.

"It was quite late," she added, her voice cracking "I was beginning to think that maybe-"

Tony's heart sunk.

"So, you're sad?" he asked, still trying to gage her mood.

Ziva sat down on the floor under the window, and lent on the wall. She pulled her knees to her chest.

"I am not sad," Ziva started. "I guess disappointed is the best way to describe it."

He ignored the ache in his back, and sat down on the floor next to her. He placed a hand on her knee, and she lowered her knees.

"I am sorry I did not take Tali swimming," Ziva said, "I just did not want to go out today. That is why I invited your father over. I will drive him home after dinner, I know it is a long drive, and you have had a busy day."

Tony shook his head.

"We'll work it out," he said. "Do you wanna talk about it?"

"There is not much to talk about," she said softly. "My period was more than a week late, and I jumped the gum."

"Jumped the gun," he corrected.

"It was probably the stress of the move," Ziva added, ignoring his correction. "That was why it was late."

He nodded.

"It is just we have been being less careful for a while now," Ziva admitted, "Nearly a year."

He thought of the two of them falling into bed, after dropping Tali off at school, it felt so delicious to be alone together while the rest of the world was at work or school.

"Yeah," he said. "We've had lots of fun, haven't we?"

Ziva gave him just a hint of a smile.

"A part of me thought it would have happened by now," Ziva declared. "Especially, as Tali happened without much effort."

Tony nodded.

"Well we're both older now," he offered.

"Yes," Ziva said with a sigh. "And, I think I need to make peace with the fact that it may not happen."

His throat ached.

"Do you think it won't?" he asked.

He thought of the McTwins, and of holding their tiny hands when they sat in toddler storytime in the library, while Tim was asleep on their couch.

"I do not know," Ziva said, "But, usually if these things take more than a year, then it is a sign that there may be issues."

When they had agreed to be less careful, they had agreed that they would not resort to extraordinary measures. If it did not happen the old fashioned way, then they would decide it was not meant to be.

"And, I am older," she said. "I am nearly forty."

A tear fell down Ziva's face.

"I know when we stopped using birth control, I did not want you to get too excited, and I said that it might not happen, but I really did think it would," Ziva said. "I had all these images of Tali being a big sister, and of you holding a baby, our baby. I know I took that from you with Tali. I know I asked you to forgive so much."

He sighed. It always circled back to this.

He had made peace with it.

"I don't hold that against you," he said, "You were doing all you could at the time. Another baby was always going to be their own person, not a replacement or to make-up for anything."

Ziva frowned.

"I know," Ziva said, "It is just I was so sure that it would happen for us, that I kind of put other things in my life on hold."

When they had been discussing the move, Tony had suggested that Ziva also look for a job. If they both worked part time, they would both be able to manage Tali.

Ziva had said that she had wanted to make sure Tali was settled before looking into a new job. So much else was changing for Tali, and she did not do well with change.

Tony had sent her links to colleges in the area, remembering that she had expressed interest in going to school, but she had not committed to anything.

"No one asked you to do that," he said softly.

"I know," she said.

"Is that why you haven't really been looking at schools?" he asked. "Or getting a job, not that I want to force you into anything, but I don't think you'd love being a housewife."

She focused her eyes on her feet.

"Yes," Ziva said softly. " Part of it is wanting to be there for Tali if she ever needs me, I have missed so much. And, if we are lucky enough to have another child, I would want to be there for every moment as well."

Tony sighed.

When he had started looking into going back to work, he had worried about how he would balance home and family. Tali was his whole world, but he needed to do something for himself.

"People have kids and manage school or work," he said. "Especially, when it's a two parent situation."

He had given up everything for Tali, but he'd been on mostly on his own.

Things were different now.

"I know," Ziva said, "I need to find something to do with my days."

A quiet moment passed between them.

"So what do you wanna do?" he asked, "Do you wanna stop trying?"

If he was gonna make an appointment to get the snip, doing it before he started at the new job would be convenient.

"Do you?" Ziva asked.

He wasn't ready to let go of the idea of another seat at the table.

"Not really," he said, "But, it's your body, and I don't want you to miss out on things because you're planning around something that might not happen."

His heart heaved at the thought of the room always being empty.

"I do not think she would make any big decisions right now," Ziva said, "We have made so many over the last few months."

The house, his job, and the wedding. There had been so much talking, so many pros and cons lists, and so many enquiry emails.

"That's probably a good idea," he said.

Ziva leaned on his shoulder.

"Maybe, we can talk about it in the New Year," Ziva said, "If nothing has happened before then."

Hope was a dangerous currency, and they were dealing in it.

"Jewish New Year or next January?" he asked.

He wanted to buy more time.

"January," Ziva clarified, as she crossed her legs. "Things will be calmer by then."

Tali would hopefully be settled in her new school, he would be a few months into his job, and Ziva might have found something to fill her days.

He made a mental note to look into community colleges again.

"Okay," he said.

Quiet passed between them. Tali's excited squeal carried up the stairs.

"It looks just like Paris," she said.

Ziva did a cough-laugh.

"This room would make a nice nursery," Ziva said, her voice soft. "Not that Tali slept in hers until just before-"

Tony squeezed her shoulder.

The fire still haunted her, more than once he had woken up to hear her calling out for Tali.

"It would make a good little home office too," Tony said, wanting to expand her horizons. "Perfect for a college student, and my job has work from home options."

Tony looked around the room, imaging two desks facing each other, just like they had in the squadroom.

"I did not even ask," Ziva said, "How was the meeting?"

"Good," he said, recalling his day, "Really good. I didn't think I could be excited about a job, especially one that isn't in law enforcement, but I really am. I met one of the guys that they helped, he got injured on a construction site, and really struggled. New Start found him a coding course, and kept him on course when he thought he couldn't do it. Now he does IT for the Uni Hospital. This guy barely finished school, and thought he was just gonna work labor jobs until his body gave out. I know everyone who comes through the door won't be a success story, but if I can help someone make a good change, it'll be worth it."

Ziva looked up at him wearing a smile that went right up to her eyes.

"As much as I love summer," he said, "I can't wait for September. I loved getting to spend all that time with Tali, but I missed working too. I really feel like I can make a difference now."

"I cannot wait to hear your stories," she said.

"You'll be telling me to shut up before Thanksgiving," he said.

Ziva shrugged.

"Maybe," she said. "But, I think you will really like this job."

He hoped so.

"At least the people at New Start were happy to see me," Tony said, "When I stopped in at NCIS everyone asked where you and Tali were."

Ellie and Jimmy had of course given him hugs, the type that come with years of friendship, but they always wanted to know if Tony had brought Tali and Ziva had come with him.

"Did you give everyone their invitations?" she asked.

The wedding invitations had been the whole reason for the visit to the pumpkin walled squadroom.

"Yeah," he said, "All of them RSVP'd yes, not that they really had any other option."

Ziva smiled.

"Maybe Ellie and Nick will arrive together," Ziva said wistfully.

Tony rolled his eyes so hard that it hurt.

"You always say that people hook up at weddings," she said.

Tony wondered if he and Ziva would have hooked up, if they had been able to go to Jimmy and Breena's wedding. If they had actually had a wedding.

"Yeah, but usually at big weddings, where you meet new people, and drink too much," Tony said, "It's a little harder when you know everyone, and there's no quiet corners."

Ziva shrugged.

"We can give them a quiet corner," she offered.

"You're obsessed," he said, shaking his head.

"Life is too short," she said. "I cannot bear to watch other people waste time."

Tony nodded. They had wasted so much time.

"I took McSeniorFieldAgent out for coffee before I gave everyone their invites," he said. "He and Delilah are going to view the house tomorrow afternoon, I suggested they come over for dinner afterwards, but if you're not up for it, I can cancel."

"No," Ziva said, "It will be good to see them, and to meet Delilah properly."

Tony nodded. It was still so strange to think that Ziva and Delilah had only met over skype.

"They're really excited about the house," he said, "McGoo said it's perfect for them, and the only renovation it would need is cosmetic."

The previous owners had lived in the house for nearly thirty years, and renovated it over time mostly to make it more accessible in places, but their taste was very niche. Lime green did not belong on walls.

"I do like the idea of them being so close," Ziva said softly. "It would be good for Tali to have other children so close."

The neighbours on either side of them did not have young children, and they tried to make friends when they went to the park down the street, but those friendships would take time to cultivate.

With the McGee's across the street it would be instant, and the grown ups would have more to talk about than school zones and retirement funds.

"Yeah," he said. "I was kinda freaked out by the idea at first, but the more I think about it, the more I like it."

He liked the idea of lazy summer nights around the grill, and winter movie nights with the kids piled on the couch, while the adults drank cider in the kitchen.

"The place across the street has an in-law suite in the basement," Tony said. "They're gonna see if McMotherInLaw wants to live with them."

"That makes sense," Ziva said, "She helps a lot with childcare, yes?"

"Yeah," he said, "When Tali finds out she's probably gonna ask for Dad to move in with us?"

"We do not have an in-law suite," Ziva said.

"No," he said, "And, as much as I love Dad, I don't think we could live together. We'd drive each other crazy."

Ziva looked up at him.

"I do wish he lived closer," Ziva said, "It takes him nearly an hour to get to us, and when the weather is bad, it might be harder for him to get to us."

Tony thought the same thing. It had been so hard to be away from Senior, especially during the pandemic.

"I better get used to schlepping all over the place," he said.

Another period of quiet passed between them. The late afternoon light came through the window above them. Downstairs Tali giggled.

"Are you really okay?" he asked.

Ziva pulled her lower lip under her upper lip.

"I will be," Ziva said softly. "I think I just needed to sit with the disappointment I am feeling, but only for today. In the past I probably would have just moved on, and pretended I was fine, but I know that it is not always healthy."

"If you decide you wanna call time on this," he said delicately, "Just let me know, and I'll make an appointment for the snip."

Ziva patted his knee.

"We will revisit this in January," Ziva said.

The stairs creaked, and a few seconds later, Tali appeared on the landing.

"Ima," Tali called out, walking toward her parents bedroom, "Daddy."

"We're in here," Tony called out.

Tali's feet padded along the hallway, and she appeared in the doorway.

"What are you doing here?" Tali asked, walking into the empty room.

"I was having quiet time," Ziva said.

"Did Daddy disturb quiet time?" Tali asked. "Because he's not allowed to do that."

Ziva smiled.

"It is okay," Ziva said, as she shuffled along the floor creating room for Tali to sit between them. "He asked before he came in."

Tony moved a little, creating just enough room for Tali to squish between her parents. Tali jabbed her elbow into his stomach.

Tali rested her head on Tony's shoulder.

"Are you feeling better, Ima?" Tali asked.

"I am," Ziva said, "I am sorry we did not go swimming today."

"It's okay," Tali said. "We'll go tomorrow, all of us together."

"And, the twins are coming over again for dinner tomorrow," Tony said. "We're gonna have a busy day."

A grin broke out over Tali's face.

"Yay," she said. "I like them."

She liked bossing them around.

"Did you finish your puzzle?" Ziva asked.

"Nearly," Tali said. "It's really hard, Pop-Pop said that the puzzle was made for grown-ups."

"Wow," Tony said, "I guess, that makes you really smart."

Tali's chest puffed with pride.

"I'm hungry," Tali said. "Can I have a snack?"

Ziva reached across Tali, and picked up Tony's wrist. She checked the time on his watch, before letting his wrist go.

"We could probably have dinner," Ziva said, "Pop-Pop will need to go home soon."

"It's a long way home for him," Tony added.

They were doing something he was sure all parents did, talking around their child.

"We could eat outside on the deck," Ziva said, "So we do not disturb your puzzle."

The table outside sat six, where as the one in the dining room only sat four. They would probably have to feed the McFamily in shifts, or do it picnic style, with the kids sitting on the grass.

Tali nodded. More of her hair was out of the pig tails than in it. Tony reached for it, and started stroking her hair. It was getting so long.

"What were you doing in here?" Tali asked.

"I was having quiet time," Ziva said, "And then your Daddy found me, and we talked."

"But why here?" Tali asked, moving her hand around. "There is nothing in here."

"No, there is not," Ziva said, "We need to decorate it."

"No more shopping," Tali said with a pout. "It's too much."

Tony chuckled. They had only taken her furniture shopping three times since they had moved back to the states, but it was all too much.

"It will probably be a while until we decorate in here," Ziva said. "We do not know what we want to put in here."

Tali put her hand under her chin, and stuck out her lips. Her thinking face.

"Why doesn't Pop-Pop have this room?" Tali asked. "Then he will be here all the time."

From above Tali's head, Ziva raised her eyebrow, and Tony mouthed 'I told you so'.

"Pop-Pop has his own place," Tony said, "And, he needs his own bathroom, you can be a real bathroom hog."

Tony's quality of life had improved dramatically, now that he no longer shared a bathroom with Tali. She was so messy.

"I wish he lived closer," Tali said. "I probably won't see him everyday when I go to school."

Tony frowned.

He hoped Tali's school year would not be as disrupted as much as it had been in the last two years.

"You'll still see him all the time," Tony assured her.

"I am sure he is getting lonely downstairs," Ziva said, "Shall we go downstairs, and get dinner started?"

Tali jumped up quickly, and stood over her parents.

"Then can we go for ice cream?" Tali asked.

Tony scrambled up, his back spasmed as he pulled himself into a standing position.

"I don't think so," Tony said, softly, "It's Tuesday, and we had ice cream the other day."

They had taken Tali to a U-Pick strawberry farm the previous Sunday, and she had enjoyed freshly made strawberry ice cream. Tony had not enjoyed cleaning it off the dress she stained.

"But, Pop-Pop hasn't been to the new ice cream place," Tali said, "And, I'll be hungry after dinner."

Ziva stood up, Tony offered his hand, but she ignored it. He watched as she winced. Since she had gone off birth control, the cramps had been so much worse.

"Is that the case?" Ziva asked.

Tali nodded.

Ziva leaned into him, and placed a hand in front of his ear blocking it from Tali.

"I would quite like some ice cream," Ziva said.

Tony did her best poker face, as Tali looked at him with puppy dog eyes.

He was putty in both of his girls hands.

"You're right," he said in an exaggerated voice, "Tali has been eating all her vegetables lately, and it has been quite hot today."

"Please," Tali said, as she wrapped herself around him. "Please Daddy."

"We would be supporting the local economy," he said, as Tali let go.

Ziva wrapped her cardigan around her waist. It was one of those thin summer cardigans that seemed pointless, but Ziva practically lived in it, when they were lazing around in the house. She needed something she could cocoon in.

"Okay," he said, as he crouched down in front of Tali. "Let's do this, but you've got to eat everything on the plate, all your vegetables."

Tali nodded.

"So, we've got a deal?" he asked.

Tali nodded again.

"Deal," Tali said.

He spat on his hand, and offered it to Tali, she spat on her hand and they shook hands. Ziva scrunched up her face.

"Why don't you go tell Pop-Pop our plan?" Tony said, "And, help lay the table."

Tali rushed out the door and zoomed down the stairs.

"Pop-Pop," Tali called out, as she reached the bottom landing, "Guess what?"

Tony smiled, and wrapped his arms around Ziva's waist.

The sun came through the window, and like a photo filter, made Ziva look radiant.

"You okay?" he asked again.

"If you ask me that again, I may leave you behind when it's ice cream time," she said.

"You know what I mean," he said.

"I do," Ziva said, with a smile. "I am glad we talked today. I was not sure if I was going to talk to you about this."

"I'm glad you did," he said.

"This room really will make a lovely nursery," Ziva said softly. "It is quiet."

"Or home office," he offered. "You know we're really close to some world class universities."

"I doubt I would get into any of those," Ziva said. "But, I will look into the community college."

"I think you might be wrong about that," he said.

Ziva leaned closer, and placed a little kiss on his lips.

The kiss broke quickly, and Ziva's eyes flitted around the room.

"We have a lot of room to grow here," she said.

"We do," he said, as he leaned in for another kiss.

Maybe, the growth would be another chair at the table, and a crib in the corner.

Maybe, it would be the building of the bridge between him and his father, with both of them under the same roof for the first time in forty years.

Maybe, it would be a different kind of growth, with Ziva becoming the scholar she could have been if Eli hadn't pushed her into the family business. Maybe, in five years time he would be standing next to Tali and watching Ziva cross a stage to collect her diploma.

Maybe, the room would be used for something completely unexpected.

"Daddy," Tali called from the bottom of the stairs. "Ima, let's eat."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The plan is to give our favourite family another member, but not in this fic. 
> 
> And, we've reached the point where I've copied all the chapters from FFN to AO3. New chapter will be up next week, and will feature Ziva bumping into someone from the past. 
> 
> Thank you for reading!


	6. Old Faces In New Places

Ziva frowned as she stepped out of the furniture store and into the crowded square of an outdoor shopping center. This has all been an ugly strip mall, the last time she had been there, back when she called Silver Spring home. Even then she had only ended up there because she got lost looking for another way to get into Rock Creek Park, to go for an extra long run. That had been back when people kept paper maps in their cars. Tali could not believe it, when her parents explained that back in the day, people did not carry their whole lives on their phones.

"So," Tony said, as he put his sunglasses on. "Thoughts?"

They had come to this shopping center for the three furniture stores it contained. They still needed a new dining table. The tiny square table meant to seat four was too small for their dining nook. Especially, if the offer Tim and Delilah had put on the house across the street went through.

Ziva had visions of the kids playing in the yard, while the adults enjoyed a lazy lingering dinner. Of winter game nights, while the kids watched movies in the lounge, and it snowed outside.

Except Ziva could not find a table.

The tables they viewed were too flimsy, too expensive or too delicate.

She might not have a job to start or any concrete plans for the next few months, but she did not plan to spend her days cleaning fingerprints off a glass table.

All she wanted was a simple wooden table, that could seat eight if it was pulled out, and fit in the dining nook.

"Some of them were nice," Ziva said.

She had no idea about why she was so focused on this dining table. In a previous life, she had not given much thought to the furniture in her home. She would simply pick the piece she most liked from a selection that was in her price range, and often from the Swedish furniture maze that had been available in all three of the countries she had lived in.

Was it because almost all of the furniture in their home was from the Parisian apartment, and was picked by Tony.

Was it because, since she woke to find blood in her underwear earlier that week, an unexpected and unwanted period, she had felt the need to control something. She had taken herself on an extra long run that morning, trying to punish her body.

"But, you didn't find the one," Tony said with a sigh.

He had offered to let Ziva make all the decisions on this table, as she seemed to care the most. He was willing to live with a table that was not his first choice, just to have a table that Ziva liked.

"It's hot," Tali whined, as she ran her sweaty hand down her dress.

Tali still carried the scent of chlorine from their visit to the waterpark the day before.

Tony placed his hand above his sunglasses and looked around. This mall was technically closer to them, than the town square they took Tali to, and while it had more shops, this mall did not have a splash pad, or the cool ice cream place that had become their go-to.

It did not have the canopy of trees that Tali said reminded her of Paris.

Ziva did the same, feeling sweat roll down her back. She wanted to go home and lie under the air conditioning vent.

Next year we're definitely getting a pool membership, Tony had said that morning when they woke up to yet another day of sticky humidity.

It had been six weeks since they had moved into their little suburban house, which was the closest to walkable they would get in Southern Maryland. Their house was a ten minute walk to the metro, a eight minute walk to a supermarket, and had only cost them a fraction of the houses a few metro stops closer to the city. It was also a twelve minute walk in the other direction, to a community center that had a pool. Sometimes, when they were in the park, they would look over to the path that led to the pool, and watch as kids excitedly ran toward the pool.

Tony pointed to a small coffee shop sandwiched between a Japanese clothes store, and an overpriced homewares store they wouldn't dare take Tali into.

"Shall we get a snack?" Tony asked.

Tali frowned from under her sun hat, and heart shaped sunglasses, the second pair they had brought this summer.

"Fine," Tali pouted.

She was seven going on seventeen.

They'd make sure that they would do something fun over the weekend, keeping the promise they had made to Tali when they first moved.

Senior was also planning to visit on Friday, his third visit of the week, which would perk Tali up, when he had texted Tony earlier that day, he had said he wanted to show him something. Probably another puzzle to share with Tali. The completed puzzle of Paris, sat pride of place on the coffee table, with Tali refusing to put it back in the box.

Once, they decided on a dining table, Ziva wanted to invite Odette over again, and she was sure that Tali would like to see Odette's dog again. Ziva would like to sit with Odette again. She had worried that she had lost Odette's friendship, now that she was out of the shadows, but Odette had not let go. The conversations were different now there was no threat, but sitting with Odette brought a smile to Ziva's face.

Their lives were so full now.

Tony looked at the crowded coffee shop, and then back at a shady spot near a fountain, that had just been vacated by an old couple in matching outfits.

Ziva looked down at her own engagement ring, and wondered if she and Tony would be like that in forty years. Not that either of them looked good in lemon yellow.

"Why doesn't Ima get some stuff to go?" Tony said, as he moved across the plaza to claim the spot. These shady spots were in high demand. "Then, we'll get what we need to get, and decide what we want to do over the weekend."

Tali's face lightened.

"Can we go to the beach?" Tali asked.

The weather promised to be warm for the next few days. Maybe they could pack up their new car and go to the coast for the weekend. Or they could get a cabin in the mountains. Both were day trip distances, but would also make a nice mini vacation. If it still felt a little like a vacation, they might actually make it one.

"Let's have a look," Tony said, as he took out his phone from the pocket of his shorts, and sat down in front of the fountain.

Ziva left the shopping bag, they had stopped at a bookstore between furniture shops, at Tony's feet, and moved toward the coffee shop.

The coffee shop was busy but not crowded. Groups of teenagers sat at tables drinking brightly coloured drinks with cream on top. Two old ladies had taken over a back table and were sharing gossip. One of them erupted into a cackle.

After over a year spent distancing and fearful of an airborne virus that had taken so many, it was such a lovely scene. One Ziva would never take for granted.

The queue moved quickly. Coffee shop regulars ordered quickly, and shared small talk. This mall was part of a transit oriented development, with apartments and offices above the shops.

If Ziva were younger and single she might like to live in a place like this.

"Ziva," a voice called from behind the counter.

It took Ziva a second to take in the person who had called her name.

Since they had moved back, it was usually Tony who bumped into someone he knew, and someone who had to explain their complicated little family. There had been a few men from the men's group he had joined after Ziva made him leave Israel, that raised their eyebrows at the mention of Ziva's name.

Ben Ramsey stood in front of her. Almost a decade older than when she had last seen him. There were dark circles under his eyes, and lines near his eyes. The type of life lines that only came from sleepless nights.

"Oh wow," Ben said, as he stepped out from behind the counter. "It's really you."

Ziva remembered the young man who had sat with her in Odette's little cabin. The man riddled with guilt and blame.

We fought about the baby. I was only nineteen.

If had been a better man, maybe she wouldn't-

Maybe, we wouldn't be here.

"I heard -," Ben said, as he looked around the coffee shop. All the guests were happy in their little bubbles, completely unaware of the story that was playing out in front of them. "Odette said you were alive."

Ziva chuckled to herself.

"Yes," Ziva said delicately. "I am sorry I could not reveal myself. There was a lot going on at the time."

That was an understatement, but the best way Ziva could describe it.

"Can I hug you?" Ben asked.

Ziva nodded.

Ben's arms wrapped around her. Ziva felt the bristle of some facial hair.

"You know at the hospital with Morgan and Lily, I was sure I saw you," Ben said, as he pulled back from the hug. "I thought I was going crazy. They say that your brain can make stuff up, when it's under extreme stress."

Ziva looked down at her sandals. That visit to the hospital had been so dangerous. If Gibbs or any of the others had been at that hospital, they would have seen her.

But, it was a risk she had to take.

If Adam has been in town, he would have locked her in the hotel room, because Odette's cabin was compromised at that point.

But, she needed to read Morgan's mother's letter. She needed to fulfil a dying woman's wish. Ziva David did not break promises.

It was the same need that had sent Paraguay chasing after two men who believed her dead.

"Morgan is going to be so excited, when I tell her," Ben continued. "I told her how you never gave up on her, and she's always wanted to say thank you."

A wave of guilt rushed through Ziva, she had left Morgan Burke for dead, and now the woman wanted to meet her.

"That is not necessary," Ziva said.

She had only persisted with this case, because of that initial screw up. If she had not have let the sheriff take over the case, they might have found Morgan sooner, before she suffered a decade of pure horror.

You have to make peace with the past, her therapist in Paris had said. All of it.

That was easier said than done.

"It is," Ben said. "You gave me my girls back, thank you doesn't feel like enough."

"You and Morgan," Ziva started, "You are together?"

Ben shook his head.

"We are a family," he said. "We all live together, and we're each other's support system. I love Morgan, and always will, but she's still working through things. Whatever happens, we'll always be a family."

The speech sounded rehearsed. An explanation that had probably been repeated half a dozen times, to concerned friends and family that had no comprehension of what the family had been through.

"Of course," Ziva said. "It must have been quite an adjustment, for all of you."

Ben deflated a little.

"Yeah," he said. "All of my friends who are Dads always talk about how there is no instruction manual, but there really isn't a manual for meeting your kid when she's nearly ten, and has been through something too traumatic to imagine."

There were tears in Ben's eyes. He used his hands to wipe them away.

"Sorry," Ben said. "I'm unloading. I guess I'm used to talking to you, and you kinda get it."

I was held captive once, Ziva told Ben in Odette's cabin. I know you want to believe Morgan is alive, but sometimes there are things almost as bad as death.

How prophetic those words felt now.

"I have sometimes wondered," Ziva started. "How the three of you were, after everything. It is a lot to make sense of, and to rebuild."

Not everything could be rebuilt.

Those old fears came back to her, that anxious plane ride to Paris, where she did not know what she would be walking into. Tony had said that they would work it out, and be a family, but Ziva wondered if too much time had passed. She worried that there had been too much pain.

For so long, she had waited for the other shoe to drop, for Tony to tell it was too hard, after they put Tali to bed.

It hadn't, and it probably wouldn't. They had overcome their past, and they were planning a future.

For so long Ziva had only operated in the present, that the hope of a future felt dangerous.

"It's been hard," Ben admitted. "We do a lot of therapy. One on one, and as a family. Lily really struggled in those first few months, Morgan has a lot of trust issues, and the shelter in place order was hard on all of us. We'd just moved into our new place which has a bit of yard, which was good, neither of them like to be inside for too long."

Ziva nodded.

She thought of their little Pairs apartment, and how cramped it felt when they were all on top of each other.

She made sure to go on a walk almost every day, and some days that kept her from falling into the despair that came with lockdown.

"But, it's not all bad. In fact we have way more good days than bad days," Ben said, his face brightening. "Lily is so smart, like she had never been to school until two years ago, and now she's all A's and B's. And, she's the fastest little runner. I think it's more than running for her, she says it makes her feel calm, but she loves it and is really good at it."

Ziva's phone buzzed in her pocket.

"Morgan's doing really well, too," Ben continued. "She did a lot of art therapy in the beginning, and discovered she really likes art. Our house is like an art gallery, and she painted that."

Ben pointed to a huge painting on the back wall of a coffee shop. It was fashioned after a Parisian cafe. Ziva had assumed it was professionally done.

"Did you finally get your own place?" Ziva asked.

You are putting your life hold, Ziva had told Ben delicately during one of their late night chats. You cannot let yourself do that.

Ben smiled proudly.

"Yeah," he said. "The plan was always to get somewhere in DC, but I ended up renting a house not far from here, because I have to worry about school districts now. I didn't work during the pandemic which was probably a good thing. Then after the pandemic there were some small business grants going around, and well here we are."

Ben motioned around the cafe.

"I poached some colleagues from the old place, I needed to make sure I could leave this baby in safe hands, in case my girls needed me," Ben continued. "Family comes first."

Ziva turned slightly and looked out the window to her family. Tali had gotten up, and was standing in front of Tony. They were part of their own secret world.

Ziva's phone buzzed again, and Ziva saw Tony looking around the square.

"I've been so rude," Ben suddenly declared. "How are you? What's it like being not dead? That's probably not not the best description."

It had been a little over two years since she stood at the top of Gibbs' basement stairs, and changed everything.

Sometimes, Ziva had to pinch herself to remind herself that she was no longer hiding. That she was free to take photos of her daughter without compromising either of them. That she could buy pointless things, because she no longer had to be ready to move at a moments notice.

"It is not," Ziva said softly, "But, there is not really a good way to describe it."

Tony tended to describe it as being out of the shadows.

But, the shadows lingered.

Last time Tali had been really sick, some sort of stomach bug, she had only wanted Tony.

Was it because Tony always made her laugh when she felt rotten?

Or, was it because Ziva hadn't been there to comfort her for almost four years?

"It has been nearly two years," Ziva finally said. "It was quite an adjustment, especially for Tali."

"Tali?" Ben asked, frowning with confusion.

Who's that in the photo? Ben asked during one evening in the cabin, as he held the photo.

The girl in the middle is me, Ziva said, the little girl was my sister Tali, and the boy was my brother Ari.

Was? Ben asked.

Yes, was. They are both dead, Ziva said, looking out of the window of the cabin, and into the dark night. Tali got caught in a bombing. They were common in Tel Aviv when we were growing up. Ari was my half brother, and he carried a lot of pain. Pain that made him do bad things, but he was still important to me.

He was your big brother, Ben said.

The way she described Ari was simplistic, but she and Ben already knew too many of each other's secrets.

Gibbs had rule ten for a reason, and here she was almost friends with Morgan Burke's bereft boyfriend.

Yes, he was, Ziva said.

"Yes, my daughter Tali," Ziva said, as she pulled out her phone, ready to show off photos. She was such a proud parent. "She turned seven in June."

Shock washed over Ben's face. She could see him doing the math in his head.

"You have a daughter," he spluttered. "Wow."

Ziva smiled, and turned slightly. She pointed to Tony and Tali. Tali was still chatting, and Tony was doing his best to look interested.

Ziva's phone buzzed again, and she finally read all the texts, in an opposite order to how they were sent.

We're starving.

?

Everything okay?

"There she is," Ziva said pointing to the two of them. "And, the man with her is Tony. He's my -."

Ziva looked down at her engagement ring then at her family.

It was a little complicated.

"He is my partner, and he is Tali's Father," Ziva said, ripping off the bandaid. "We are engaged, which is not something I ever thought would happen when I went back to them. It was all a little complicated."

The worst thing she had ever done was waiting to tell Tony about Tali. She should have never have kept the two of them apart.

"Wait, Tony?" Ben said, as he put all the pieces together, and wasn't sure about the picture. "The guy you worked with. The one who always talked about movies."

Ziva looked down at her sandals, and then back up at him.

"Yes," Ziva said, feeling a smile creep over her face.

They had wasted so much time.

"So, when you suddenly disappeared, it was because you and Tony had finally got together?" Ben asked.

My father died, Ziva said when she met Ben in his old coffee shop, just before she went to Israel. That is why you have not seen me since the new year. My father's death had a lot of repercussions, and I am going to Israel for a while. I promise that I have not forgotten about Morgan.

He had given her the fruit smoothie she ordered for free, and apologised for her loss.

She had never returned to the states.

She had never forgotten about Morgan.

"No," Ziva said. "I made quite a mess. I was not in a good place when I sent Tony back to the states. I did not tell him about Tali. He only found out about her, after I had to-"

Ziva's phone buzzed again.

Everything okay?

There was a relationship between the number of question marks, and his worry.

So she texted back.

Okay. I bumped into someone I used to know.

He sent her a gif of Adele singing that song.

"Go into the shadows," Ziva finally said, gulping as she thought of leaving Tali with Adam in that market. A wave of panic rose through her, as she thought of the emptiness in her arms as Adam took Tali. "He suddenly had a two year old."

"Sounds like we should compare notes," Ben joked.

Her phone buzzed.

Can we come in? We're sizzling out here.

"I was away from Tali for over three years," Ziva said, as she looked out the window, at the two of them. "I guess Tony had a lot of time to make sense of some things. To make some choices."

Yes, let's dine in.

"Are you glad it all worked out?" Ben asked.

Ziva felt a smile creep up her face.

"Yes," Ziva said. "We have good days and bad days, but mostly good ones. Happy ones."

Sitting with Tali as they did crafts. The three of them squished in Tali's tiny bed together reading stories before bed. Holding Tony's hand as they watched Tali play in the park.

"Aren't those just the best?" Ben asked. "It's what it's all about."

"Yes," Ziva said.

The bell of the coffee shop rang, and Tony and Tali stepped into the coffee shop. She watched as Tony sighed in relief as the air conditioning hit him.

Tali took her sunglasses off, and looked at the cabinet of sweet treats.

"We're just getting a drink," Tony warned, as he steered Tali toward Ziva. "Look it's Ima."

Tali bounded over toward her.

"She looks just like you," Ben whispered.

Tony lifted his sunglasses up, and sized up Ben. A hint of recognition crossed his face, but then confusion took over him.

"Tony DiNozzo," Tony said, thrusting out his hand. "I'm Ziva's fiancé."

"That means they are getting married," Tali announced. "Eventually."

They would be married just after the high holidays. Ziva had an appointment for a dress fitting at the end of the following week. They still had to get Tali a bridesmaid dress.

"Ben Ramsey," Ben said, as he shook Tony's hand.

Then Tony's confusion turned to recognition, he almost never forgot a name.

"Morgan Burke's boyfriend," Tony said, before he could stop it.

"Yeah," Ben said. "I didn't mean to keep you guys from your drinks, but I really wanted to say thank you to Ziva, and it doesn't feel like enough."

Tony swallowed thickly, and nodded.

"Why is it not enough?" Tali asked. "Thank you is polite."

Tony's face flushed red.

"You must be Tali," Ben said, as he bent down to Tali's level. "I have a daughter who is a few years older than you. Her name is Lily. She and her Mom were away for a long time, and your Mom helped them come back to me."

Tali looked down at her feet.

"Ima makes sure the monsters stay away," Tali announced.

Ben pulled himself, and the three adults looked at each other.

Sometimes the scariest monsters were not under the bed.

"Yeah," Tony said, as he rubbed Tali's shoulder. "Ima is a protector."

One of the coffee shop employees moved toward Ben with an anguished look.

"Duty calls," Ben announced. "There's a table in the back that's pretty quiet, and everything in the cabinet is fresh this morning, let me know if you'd like something else, I should be able to whip something up. And Ziva, I know you said I don't need to say it, but thank you."

Tony reached behind Tali, and took Ziva's hand. He squeezed it tight.

They stayed for a snack. Tali got a smoothie and a sugary treat, and her parents decided it counted as a balanced diet.

Her tea steamed, his iced coffee was all gone, and the croissant they had shared was nothing but flakes on a plate.

Tali's had chocolate smeared on her cheek.

"I always wondered what happened to them," Tony said, keeping his voice low. "When Gibbs told me that Morgan had been found. It's a lot to come back from."

During the first year together, they had worked two cases that Ziva often thought about. There had been that North Korean sleeper who had married an American Marine, and had a baby with him. It would have been so easy for the husband to take his daughter, and walk away from his wife, but instead he vowed to stay with her. At the time she had thought the man was deluded. Even if his wife avoided jail time by striking a deal, they would have to go into witness protection at the very least.

Would a man be able to give up his whole life for a woman who had lied to him from the start?

The other case Ziva found herself thinking back on, was the boy who had walked into his classroom with a bomb, because he wanted to see his 'dead' mother. At the time, the case had haunted her, because she had already seen too many teenagers with bombs. After the case, when the boy was reunited with his mother who had faked her death, Ziva's thoughts had turned to Tony, because the case had weighed heavily on him. The boy with the bomb had gotten what every motherless child wanted, their mother back.

Now, Ziva wondered how the little family had rebuilt itself. The boy had already been a teenager when his mother faked her death, but the trust had been broken. Ziva wondered what it was like for that little family fifteen years later.

Ziva wondered if people thought the same thing about her and Tony.

Perhaps Breena or even Delilah had said as much to their husband, after Ziva got on the plane to Paris.

How do you come back from that? Tali has gone so long without her mother.

"Love finds a way," Ziva said, as she watched Ben clean a table. "Ben is a good man, he would have fought for his family."

"Sounds like a good man," Tony said.

Ziva nodded at him.

"He sounds like someone else I know," she said.

Tony smirked.

"Can we go now?" Tali asked.

Tony handed her a tissue and motioned toward her face.

A few minutes later the trio slipped out of the coffee shop. Tali wanted to check out the arcade near the movie theatre, but they had decided that they would leave the other furniture store for another day.

"Bye Guys," Ben said, giving them a big wave. "See you around."

The shopping centre was not too far from Tali's new school, and was close to a metro stop. Tony was rather impressed with the coffee too.

So, just maybe they might.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was written before I started the rest of the fic. It was writing this that sparked the muse. If you didn't like Ziva bumping into Ben don't worry, he won't be reappearing. 
> 
> I couldn't rewatch 'She' (at least not legally), so I had to rely on recaps and gifs to write this. Appologies if I've gotten anything wrong. 
> 
> The storyline of 'She' has always fascinated me, especially as they would have needed to heal even more than our favourite family. 
> 
> Thanks for reading.


	7. Just Around The Corner

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains mentions of COVID-19, both the illness and the isolation. Please take care of yourselves dear readers.

Senior thanked the woman at the reception desk, and turned around to see where Junior had claimed a seat.

Junior was sitting with his left foot on his right thigh, and reading a magazine aimed at retirees. He was wearing what he called his Dad uniform, cargo shorts and t-shirt.

Junior looked like a college student, even though he was closer to retirement than college.

Senior thought of college age Junior. Senior only saw him once during Junior's four year degree, for his niece Theresa's wedding celebrations. Senior had only gone to Long Island to try and borrow money from his brother Vincenzo, as Senior had been cleaned out by another messy divorce.

Senior couldn't even remember if he had stuck around for the actual wedding, after Vinny told him that he wasn't going to bail him out, yet again.

There was always something better to fly off to in those days.

It was always about the next deal.

He did know he never saw his big brother again. A heart attack claimed him mere months after his butcher shop closed.

The DiNozzo men were prone to weak hearts.

Senior shuffled across the foyer, taking in his surroundings as he moved. A pair of women were sitting in the corner and chatting. A man was being pushed toward the courtyard which seemed to catch all the sun.

Senior could see himself being happy here.

He took the seat next to Junior, and saw that Junior was now on his phone, no doubt texting Ziva. Now that they could communicate with each other freely, they were almost always in contact, at least when they were not already in the same room.

"I told Ziva not to wait for us," Junior said. "Tali gets so grumpy when she's hungry."

She was a DiNozzo after all.

"We shouldn't be too long," Senior offered.

This viewing was just a formality, he'd already packed.

"It's just sandwiches for lunch," Junior said. "It's too hot to turn on the oven."

Senior nodded. These summers were only getting hotter.

Even with all the air conditioning things felt hotter than when he had been a kid.

"If I'd have known we were going on an adventure, I'd have brought the car," Junior said. "It's almost too hot to be walking."

Junior leaned over to the chair next to him, where he had dumped his canvas shopping bag, and pulled out a water bottle. It was one of those stainless steel ones that kept the water inside teeth achingly cool.

Senior had set off from his current independent living apartment nearly two hours ago, first getting the shuttle from the retirement village to the metro station with other residents who were braving the heat, then getting the metro into town, before getting another metro train back out of town.

Junior had met him on the platform, like he always did, because even though the house was a short walk away, Senior was not trusted to walk from the station to the house.

Senior knew this was love. His family wanted to make sure he got to them safely.

This time instead of walking to the house, via the supermarket, Senior had directed Junior back toward the main road to what he wanted to show him.

The advertisement had said the new retirement village was just five minutes from the metro, in reality it was probably closer to seven minutes away.

But, Senior wasn't interested in the distance to the metro. He was interested in the distance to a little house, on a tree lined street, and a little girl who thought he was the best Pop-Pop in the world.

The map on the internet told him it would be a twenty minute walk at the max, and a bus ran right down the next street over.

He would be so close.

He would be able to see Tali everyday, if Junior let him.

"I could ask Ziva to pick us up," Tony offered, as he took another sip from the water bottle. "When we're done here."

Senior reached into his own canvas bag, and pulled out his own water bottle. It had been one that Tali had sent as a present for Seniors last birthday or maybe Father's Day. It had been customised so that Pop-Pop was written in orange over the blue of the bottle.

"We'll see," Senior said. "I don't know how long this will take."

Senior undid the bottle of water, and took a sip.

"Tali's gonna love her puzzle," Tony said.

In Senior's bag there was a puzzle that had a dog as the picture, a present for Tali.

Tali loved dogs.

Senior loved that he and Tali could share puzzles. He knew he was an older grandpa, having been an older Dad for the times, and with Tony already being in his forties when Tali entered the world, puzzles could be shared without Senior worrying about his saw knees or heart.

The DiNozzo men tended to have weak hearts.

Junior shuffled in his seat, and looked around the foyer.

A woman was pushing a walker along and stopping to chat with another woman.

"This place reminds me of a hotel," Junior said. "It's so fancy."

Senior rather liked that. He'd always loved a good hotel.

"It's new," Senior said. "It only opened it in June."

Junior frowned, and looked down at his lap.

"And, you want to live here?" Junior asked.

Senior nodded.

"Why?" Junior asked, his voice soft.

Senior felt an ache in his gut, he knew where this question was coming from.

This was coming from the little boy who he dumped at a boarding school, because he could not face raising him alone.

Senior had thought he was doing the best thing, leaving Junior with other kids, and professional careers, but it had been the worst.

At that age Junior looked so much like his mother, and Senior could not bear it.

"It's close to you," Senior said. "I could walk to your place from here."

Junior looked away from him, his eyes focused on the reception desk.

Senior could guess at Junior's thoughts, so now you want to be nearby. What about when I was a kid. What about when I needed you.

I was eight years old.

"I didn't know you wanted to live so close," Junior said.

"When your and Ziva's offer on the house got accepted, I started looking at places a little closer," Senior said. "I've been on the waiting list for this place since May."

Senior knew that the independent living studio had only become available because another resident had moved into a unit with more assistance or died.

Junior nodded, and swallowed thickly.

The two of them had built so many bridges over the years, but sometimes the water underneath caught a current, and the water splashed up.

"Don't you like where you are?" Tony asked.

Senior had moved into the assisted living apartment, once he returned from helping Junior settle into Paris. It had been something that had been on his mind ever since he moved to D.C to be closer to Tony, but with Tony now being so far away, and the fact he now had a grandchild, Senior had made the move.

Back then, the only criteria Senior had for the apartment, was that it was close to an airport, and close enough to the metro. Senior liked to visit an art gallery every couple of weeks.

The old place had for the bill being close to Dulles, and with a regular shuttle from the retirement village to the metro stop.

Now, it felt too far away.

"I do," Senior said.

Junior's phone buzzed, but he ignored it.

"You have all your friends," Junior said softly. "And, that lady you like to have lunch with."

Senior smiled as he thought of Jean, his lunch buddy for the last year once they were allowed to use the dining hall again. Her husband had been a dentist, and she had filled her days collecting art. She and Senior spent many a long lunch discussing the impressionists.

Jean had been moved into the memory care wing not long after the Fourth of July, and barely remembered Senior.

"The ones I've talked to understand why I want to do this," Senior said. "Family first."

Family first, Junior had said when he announced he was leaving NCIS to care for Tali.

"If I want to see them I can always get on the metro," Senior said. "And, we all know how to use video chat now."

Junior frowned.

"Okay," Junior said, "Because Tali's going starting at her new school in three weeks, and I start my job after Labor Day. I don't want you to be lonely."

Loneliness came with reaching this age.

"I can entertain myself," Senior said. "If last year taught me anything."

Junior grimaced.

The virus that had changed the whole world was mostly contained now, but people were only just beginning to unpack the trauma.

When Senior had been a child, his own mother had talked of being a young woman during the flu epidemic.

She had lost so many friends, and her sister. She's never quite recovered from that loss.

Senior knew now as he approached his tenth decade that there was no getting over loss.

Loss stayed with you, it changed you.

Junior was older than Seniors father ever got to be. Senior always nagged Junior about getting those heart check-ups.

DiNozzo men tended to have weak hearts.

Senior was the last of the three DiNozzo brothers left. Neither Sal or Vinny had made it to seventy.

Sal had driven himself into a tree, unable to escape the demons he had brought home from the war. He had been the only one of the three DiNozzo boys old enough to sign up after Pearl Harbor.

When Senior had heard via Vinny's widow that Junior had become a cop, Senior had worried that the same demons would haunt him.

Vinny had given too much of his life trying to keep that butcher shop afloat, even after the supermarket was built around the corner, and the area stopped being Little Italy.

Ziva was the same age as Juniors mother was when they took her to the hospital for the last time. Sometimes, Senior held onto her for a little longer when she hugged him. They couldn't lose her.

They had thought she was lost forever.

"Did you ever hear from that lady in Sweden?" Junior asked.

Senior took a deep breath.

Ebba had been a fellow grandparent he had met the last time he was in Paris. They had been staying in the same hotel, and between their grandparent duties they had visited all the tourist spots.

It was not often that Senior got to make new friends.

When Senior had returned to the states, weeks earlier than planned, his assisted living facility was under lockdown, with most of the residents not allowed to leave their apartments.

Senior and Ebba had shared emails, and then video chats, with Senior making plans to see Stockholm for the first time in forty years, once this all blew over.

Then one day in May, Ebba had started complaining of a cough.

And, the emails stopped.

Senior had tried to google her, but she did not have much of a footprint.

Then after his fall that September, and after three unreturned emails, he had googled her again, and found a death notice.

Google translate had said she died after a sudden illness, and Senior would always wonder if it was the virus.

"She died," Senior said. "Last year."

Junior's hand reached for his, and patted it.

Senior thought of another death, another funeral, of a little boy in a brand new suit.

He thought of the bottle of scotch he had opened, as soon as he woke up on that morning.

He thought of his brother Vinny's offer to take care of Junior for a while. Vinny had a wife, who had always wanted a big family, but had not been able to have any more children after her only daughter.

Junior would have fitted right in.

They would have given him nothing but love, but Senior had refused.

"I'm sorry, Dad," Junior said.

Senior nodded.

"Life is short," Senior said. "And during the last year I had lots of time to think about what I want for the rest of my life."

He probably had a decade at the very most, and he wanted to be with his family.

A nurse walked out the elevator with an urgent look on her face, before heading straight to the reception desk.

"You're okay, right?" Junior asked. "Health wise?"

Senior knew where this concern came from. It had been nearly a year since Senior had came too on his bathroom floor, and in a fair amount of pain.

The hospital had been surreal. All those doctors and nurses in masks and face shields.

He had never liked hospitals, and in this one he had been all alone.

Senior could still remember the pain in Junior's voice when they finally spoke.

Are you sure you're okay, Dad?

Do you need me to come? I'll get on a plane.

Junior was willing to get on a plane during a pandemic to get to him, even though he was at higher risk, and even though Ziva had only been back with them a few months.

His son was a better man than he could ever be.

"I'm okay," Senior said.

Still, he always felt like he was living on borrowed time.

He had lived almost twice as long as his father.

He had outlived both of his brothers by decades.

And, he had lost the love of his life so young.

But, every afternoon spent doing puzzles with Tali was a blessing. So was every dinner with Junior and Ziva. Ziva was such a good cook.

He was so proud of how far Junior and Ziva had come.

"Good," Junior said.

A quiet moment passed between them. Two nurses got in the elevator together.

One of the ladies in the corner erupted into a cackle.

"Junior," Senior started. "Do you want me to move here?"

Junior looked down at his lap.

"Tali would love it," Junior said.

It was a lot of weight to carry being Tali's only living grandparent.

Junior's mother would have loved Tali. She'd always wanted a little girl.

"What about you and Ziva?" Senior asked.

He was forcing this proximity, but what if Junior liked the distance.

They had built so many bridges over the years, but maybe they weren't as strong as Senior thought they were.

"Ziva would love it too," Junior said, "She loves you."

Senior loved her too. She brought so much joy to all of them.

"And you?" Senior asked again.

"Of course I love you," Junior said.

"I love you too," Senior said. "But, do you want me to move here?"

Tony nodded.

"It'll be nice not to drive all over the place to take you home," Junior said, "Especially, when I start working, but if this falls through I don't mind driving you."

Senior had given up his driver's licence a while ago.

"I like the idea of you being close," Junior said, his voice much smaller. "If something happens."

Senior nodded.

"The hospitals are supposed to be really good here," Junior said. "If we need them."

Senior looked to the reception desk, and then to his watch, the tour was supposed to start five minutes ago.

"It's a really nice area round here," Senior said.

They were not quite twenty miles from the heart of D.C, but far enough away to feel like a small town. Tali would grow up being able to walk to the park, and to school, while every food option she could ever want was a metro stop or two away.

"It reminds me of Uncle Vinny's neighbourhood," Junior said. "You know where you could walk to all the stores from his store, or from their little house. Where we lived it always felt like we were marooned on an island. The houses probably weren't that far apart, but as a kid they felt miles away from each other."

Senior had been so proud of that grand house being the gate. It was a sign of how far he had come. Anthony DiNozzo had always felt he was better than his family business.

His brother Vinny had settled for his parents' shelf-stable life.

His brother Sal had tried to create something of himself, but he could never outrun what he had seen.

Anthony had been destined for the finer things in life.

Except it was all built on a house of cards, and one wind could blow it all down.

He had lost that house to the bank less than a year after he buried his wife.

"Vinny lived in a nice place," Senior added.

Junior could have lived there too, at least for a while while he got himself together.

"I think Uncle Vinny would be glad we're here now," Junior said. "He always wanted us to-"

Senior patted Junior's hand.

Vinny had always wanted the two Anthony's to find a way to each other.

There's nothing more important than your kids, Vinny had said when he refused to lend Senior more money.

Quiet passed again. Senior looked across to the reception desk, and checked his watch.

"Between you here, and the McFamily across the street, Tali's gonna be surrounded by all her favourite people," Junior said.

Senior knew his son was using Tali as a proxy. Junior wanted to have all his family close, to make up for his lonely childhood.

He had read somewhere that when people became parents they tried to correct the things they had not liked in their own childhoods.

"I was talking to Judy when they came over after the viewing," Senior started. "She said she picks the twins up from daycare a couple of days a week. This place is right between your house and Tali's school."

Junior looked toward the main door of the building.

"We don't need the childcare help like Tim and Delilah do," Junior said. "Ziva doesn't have a job."

Senior frowned.

"Maybe not," Senior said, "But, if you and Ziva want to go on an impromptu date, or if something happens I could help out."

A woman in a suit stopped by the reception desk. Her heels clacked on the floor. Senior wondered if that was the sales rep that was supposed to give them a tour.

Junior's phone buzzed, and then played the Magnum P.I theme song.

Junior picked it up. A smile crossing his face. Senior knew exactly who was calling.

"Hi," Junior said. "Yeah we're still here."

Then Junior was quiet again, and listened.

"Yeah, it would be nice if he got it," Junior said. "But between him being a block over, and the McFamily across the street we won't be able to have any secrets."

Junior was quiet again, and then he let out a little laugh.

"Okay," he said, "I think we'll be okay to walk. We'll stop off on the way home. Yeah, milk, onions, and toilet cleaner. I'll call you when we're getting the yoghurt. I know you are very particular about your flavours."

Senior had been married seven times, and nearly married almost twice as many times, and he could never remember having these types of conversations.

Anthony D DiNozzo Senior was the king of the grand gesture, and often brought home trinkets, but never got himself in the day to day management of a household.

At least never one that involved other people.

Senior had lived a long life, but he had missed out on so much.

"Yeah the mango one was pretty nice," Junior said. "No, I didn't finish it. You let me try some, and that was the only time I ate it."

It was quiet again.

"Okay. I'll call you later," Junior said. "Love you too."

Junior ended the call, and slid the phone into his pocket.

"Sorry," Junior said. "I know that was rude."

Senior shook his head.

"I know I sprung this on you," Senior said. "It's just these places move pretty quick."

Junior nodded.

"You know the McMotherInLaw is going to live with Tim and Delilah," Tony said.

Senior knew this. Over grilled meat and salad Judy had mentioned that she was helping Tim and Delilah with some money for renovations, and that she liked the idea of having a garden again.

"Yeah," Senior said, "You wouldn't think that place has an in-law suite. From the outside it looks kinda small."

When Senior had first seen the house across the street with its ramp, and the occupant looking closer to Senior's age than Junior's, he had wondered if the need for the wheelchair was polio.

He could remember so many new school years where some friends did not come back, and others came back wearing leg braces.

"Have you seen the basement in our place?" Junior asked.

Senior had seen it once, when Junior took him on a tour of the empty house. The basement was large, had its own bathroom, and had a side entrance that was probably not up to code.

"Yes," Senior said.

"It probably wouldn't be too hard to turn that into an in-law suite," Tony said. "We probably wouldn't put a full kitchen in there, but we could make it quite nice."

Junior was a better man than Senior would ever be.

"Tali would love it," Junior added.

Senior looked around the lobby of the retirement village. He knew that for some people these places were hell, but he rather enjoyed it. He was the definition of an extrovert and liked to sit with different people everyday.

"We could put you in the spare room until we finish it," Junior said.

"I'm sure you need that room," Senior said.

"We don't," Junior said. "We're probably not gonna have another baby."

Senior had thought he had the two of them say something to Tim the first time he came over.

He hadn't pressed either of them on what he had overheard, if they had news they would tell him eventually.

"Sorry," Senior said.

"It's okay," Junior said. "Tali always seems kind of relieved when the twins go home. Maybe, she is meant to be an only child."

Senior smiled as he thought of the McTwins. He was rather fond of both of them. Johnny could be so serious, Morgan was so loud, and watching the two of them bounce off Tali was great fun.

It was so sweet to hear the laughter of a gaggle of children.

"We wanted to give you a sibling," Senior said, feeling strange as he spoke of him and his late wife as a unit. "It just didn't work out."

There had been two losses, either side of Junior, both had sent Elizabeth to bed for weeks.

Senior had mumps as a teenager, and maybe that had affected some of his plumbing.

"What about with the other wives?" Junior asked. "You never had any kids with any of them."

"Most of those marriages didn't last long enough for kids," Senior said.

Junior coughed. He had ended up with a child who was the product of a goodbye.

"If any of them had wanted kids, maybe it would have happened," Senior said, "But, I'm glad it didn't. I don't know if I would have doubled down, and tried to make up for the mistakes I made with you or made the same mistakes all over again."

Junior looked down at his lap.

"It probably would have hurt you either way," Senior said.

Senior remembered that time he and Junior were in the same room at Theresa's rehearsal dinner. The two of them just say there staring at each other. Junior was just twenty, not even old enough to legally drink, and yet definitely no longer a child.

Senior had just turned his back for a second. He just needed a moment to get himself together.

Junior had been eight when he dropped him off at boarding school, and all of a sudden he was twenty. How had Senior let so much time pass?

It was a lot to come back from.

Perhaps, too much.

"Probably," Junior said.

Yet, they had come back from it, and they moved forward.

And, then when Junior was faced with a similar situation, a motherless child, and a lot of pain, he had stepped up.

Quiet passed between them again.

"Listen, Junior," Senior said. "About the basement it's a nice idea."

Junior chuckled.

"I know we'd probably drive each other crazy," Junior said, flashing him a grin. "But, if this one doesn't work out the offer is there."

Senior felt pride move through him.

His son had become such a good man.

"And, there's definitely room for you," Junior said, "We're always losing each other in that place. It's so much bigger than the apartment."

Senior nodded.

"I'm waitlisted for every facility within five miles of your house," Senior said. "I'm serious about being closer to all of you."

Junior smiled. He had his mother's smile. It was one of the things he had passed onto Tali.

It was so strange to see glimpses of Elizabeth in Tali.

"I'll talk to Ziva about you helping out with pick up," Tony said. "She's thinking about going to college so we'll definitely need the help."

The sales woman in the tan skirt suit moved across the lobby, holding a clipboard, her shoes clacked on the floor.

"Mr DiNozzo," she said, looking flustered. "I'm sorry to keep you waiting. Shall we get this tour started?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the double authors notes. 
> 
> I'm not 100% happy with this chapter. Senior's character has always fascinated me, mostly because of the redemption in his and Tony's relationship. 
> 
> I've adopted the fandom wide assumption that Tony's mothers name was Elizabeth and borrowed other peoples head canons before dropping in a few of my own. 
> 
> Let me know what you think. Thank you so much for reading. 
> 
> Next chapter will involve Ziva and Gibbs.


	8. To Build A Home

Ziva stopped at the front step of Gibbs' little cottage, and took a deep breath.

There were so many memories here.

It had been over a year and a half since she had last been to this little house. Last time, it had days before Christmas, when Sahar's son had run away, and Ziva wasn't sure what awaited her when she returned to Paris.

She had the same thoughts on that cold winter day as she did now.

What if too much time had passed?

What if she had changed too much?

Ziva stepped onto the front step, and balled her hand into a fist to knock on the door, even though she was sure the door was unlocked.

Some things never changed.

Gibbs never changed.

She stopped short of actually knocking on the door, and instead reached for the door handle and opened the door.

It had been a while since she had seen Gibbs. They had only been back in the states for a few weeks, and so much of their time had been spent settling Tali in and sorting out the house.

They had come back to the states to reconnect with the people they considered family, but except for Tim they had only seen everyone else once or twice.

They were still working out where they sat with everyone.

Some relationships could be picked up from where they left off, and others needed to be built from scratch. Ellie had offered her services as a babysitter. Tony and Nick had sized each other up.

The door opened and Ziva stepped into Gibbs hallway, careful not to drop the Tupperware box she was carrying.

The main level of the house was silent, and Ziva wondered if Gibbs was really home. His truck was in the drive, but Gibbs was a man of mystery.

Ziva knew she had to check the basement next, but needed a few quiet moments before she went down there.

She could still hear the thud of Ari's body as it hit the floor.

She could still see the shock on his face as she rushed down the stairs minutes before bullets were fired, and years after she was supposed to have died.

Ziva moved across the living area, and placed the Tupperware on the table.

There was a creak from the basement steps, and the door from the basement. Gibbs stepped out, wearing his battered USMC t-shirt, the one with the hole in the collar. His shorts were threadbare. The t-shirt was probably as old as Ziva.

"Ziver," he said with a smile, as he moved toward the kitchen, and turned on the water tap.

Ziva followed him.

"Hi Gibbs," she said, as she leaned on the kitchen counter.

Gibbs ran the bar of soap over his hands, and it lathered up.

He looked so old. Older than he had seemed when she asked him for help.

Perhaps, it was the work finally getting to him. He was probably too old to be an agent now.

She wondered if he would ever take retirement, or if giving up the badge would kill him, like she and Tony always joked it would.

Gibbs dried his hand on a tea towel, and turned around. He greeted Ziva with open arms.

"Come here," he said.

Ziva moved from her spot leaning on the counter, and wrapped him in a hug.

He still smelt like sawdust and bourbon.

"It's good to see you," he said, as the hug broke.

Ziva smiled at him.

"I am sorry it has taken so long," Ziva said.

Gibbs knew their address, he could have visited them if he wanted to, but that was not a discussion she was going to have now.

Gibbs peaked into the living area.

"Is Tali with you?" he asked. "DiNozzo?"

She would be a DiNozzo soon too.

Ziva shook her head.

"Just me," Ziva said, "But, Tali and I made cookies yesterday, and I brought you some."

She motioned to the table, and Gibbs moved toward the table.

Ziva followed him, and watched as he eagerly opened the box.

Some of the cookies had broken during the drive, and even though they were supposed to be dog shaped, Ziva had found a dog shaped cookie cutter in a local big box store, the cookies looked more like blobs with dull points.

Tali had been thrilled by the cookies despite their faults.

Gibbs picked up a cookie, and took a bite. Crumbs fell onto his t-shirt, and mingled with the sawdust.

Ziva looked down at her own outfit, and saw her black top was also covered in sawdust.

"Sit," Gibbs said, pointing to the chair next to him.

Ziva had always been good at following orders, and sat next to him. Their knees touched.

"We are still perfecting our cookie recipe," Ziva said.

They had done lots of baking during the two lockdowns, and both mother and daughter enjoyed it. Baking was something Tali only did with her Ima, as Tony did not have the patience for baking, especially not from scratch.

Ziva loved standing behind Tali, as she rolled out the dough. She loved their matching aprons that Tony had brought them both for Christmas.

"They were in the oven a little too long," Ziva said. "Tali and I got distracted."

Gibbs finished his cookie and took another one from the box, not seeming to care that the cookies were a little darker than they should be.

It hadn't stopped Tony from eating half a dozen of the little vanilla cookies either. Tony had liked the ones that were supposed to be shaped like bones.

"They're good," Gibbs said as he took another cookie.

Ziva's mouth felt dry, and she pulled herself up and moved toward the kitchen.

She found a glass easily, Gibbs kitchen never changed, and put a glass under the tap.

"There's cold water in the fridge," Gibbs announced, as he brushed the crumbs from his t-shirt. "It's hot today."

Ziva grabbed another glass, and placed them on the counter next to the fridge.

She stopped and looked at the front of the fridge. Pinned under a magnet from a beer company, was a postcard from Philadelphia.

Ziva thought of Sahar's son, who had gotten caught up in all that pain, who had ended up in Philadelphia with a foster family. She hoped he was safe, and healing. She hoped he knew that none of it had been his fault.

Then she opened the fridge, and found the glass bottle of water.

She filled the glasses easily.

Gibbs crunched on another cookie.

"So," Gibbs said, "What's going on?"

Ziva closed the fridge, and stopped in front of the fridge again.

There was a note from Jack Sloane, nothing more than a line, but filled with love.

Next to the note, was a wedding invitation, the one that she and Tony had designed, with one of Tali's pictures.

"I was in the neighbourhood," Ziva said, as she picked up the glasses and walked toward the dining room. "That is the saying, yes?"

Gibbs raised an eyebrow.

"You live miles away," he said.

Ziva handed Gibbs one of the glasses, and sat back down at the table.

"I really was in the neighbourhood," she said. "Tony's father is moving to be closer to us and we were helping him pack up his things, and I also had to run an errand for the wedding."

She and Tony had woken up a few days ago to the realisation that they were getting married in a month, and had done next to nothing.

Ziva had only just decided on a dress. They still had to find something for Tali to wear.

"I actually came to talk to you about the wedding," Ziva said, as she took a sip of the water.

"I RVSP'd," Gibbs said.

Tony had personally delivered the invites to the team, when he had gone into the city for a meeting at his new job. That had been the same day that Ziva had woken up to an unwanted period.

She had been so sure it was something else.

"I know," Ziva replied.

Tali had ticked off Gibbs' name on the list of guests that had been written on the tiny whiteboard they kept on their fridge.

"At a Jewish wedding both the bride and groom's parents walk them down the aisle," Ziva said, "Tony and I were only going to have a small ceremony, but Tali has been watching so many movies, and she wants us to have an aisle."

Gibbs nodded, but did not say anything.

"Senior is going to walk Tony down the aisle," Ziva said. "It will be a very short aisle, and Tali is very concerned about the symmetry, and that there is no one to walk me down the aisle."

She had been a fully fledged orphan for a long time now.

Gibbs had once been the closest thing she had to a father.

When she had been almost engaged once, to a man who lived in the shadows, she had imagined Gibbs walking her down the aisle. Even though her father was still alive at that point.

She had simply never imagined Eli walking her down an aisle.

"I was thinking," Ziva said, as she looked at Gibbs and with his stubble and old t-shirt. "That maybe you could walk me down the aisle. It would mostly be to keep Tali happy."

A smile crossed Gibbs' face for just a moment.

"Okay," he said.

Ziva felt her shoulders soften and let out a deep breath. This was relief.

She had not known what she was expecting when she walked into this little house.

"Really?" she asked.

Gibbs nodded.

"It is just," Ziva started again. "I know we have not really seen much of each other."

Or called each other, but that was mostly on Gibbs and his phone etiquette.

Ziva and Tony had used McGee to keep them in the loop with what was happening with Gibbs, not that Tim knew too much.

Gibbs would always be one foot in, and one foot out, when it came to the people who surrounded him. Always ready to close himself off.

Maybe, it was the loss of Shannon and Kelly.

Ziva knew the love of a child, her separation from her daughter had been unbearable, if Tali had been lost forever Ziva doubted she would have been able to go on.

Maybe, it was all those bullets he took, not even after two years after Ziva locked herself in the farmhouse wanting to be punished for her sins.

Tony thought it was the shooting.

He just wasn't the same after that, Tony had said during one of the many late night conversations during that first year home.

"I wondered," Ziva started, "If it was because of Tali. She is seven now, and I know that is almost the age-"

Gibbs got up from the table and walked toward the kitchen. He opened the fridge and came back with two beers.

Ziva took hers, but did not open it. Alcohol and her meds did not mix well.

Gibbs took a long swig of the beer.

"It is just when I was away from Tali," she continued, her voice becoming shaky. "Seeing children around her age, that was the hardest. I thought it might have been that."

It had been so hard being apart from Tali. To see other children who were the same age as her. To see mothers and daughters together. To see little kids with one hand in each parent, and to know Tali did not have that.

Gibbs put the beer on the table.

Ziva held her unopened beer in her hands. It was cold, and made her hands damp with the condensation.

"It's not that," Gibbs said. "That hurts every day, and everyday in a different way."

Ziva nodded. She would never know that pain. And, if she ever did she did not think she would ever be able keep going.

"I know you and Jack were close," Ziva said. "And now she is gone."

Gibbs picked up the bottle, and took another long swig.

He held the bottle close to his lips and looked toward the

"We were," he said.

Ziva put her bottle down, and pushed it out toward him.

"You okay?" he asked, as he took the bottle from her.

"Yes," Ziva said. "Alcohol messes with my meds. Besides I have a lot of driving to do today."

Alcohol made the panic worse. She could have a glass of two of wine here or there, but she had to be careful. Anything more than two glasses, and she would wake up the next morning with dread in her stomach, and the panic would whisper nasty things to her.

You are a terrible mother.

Tony is only with you, because of Tali.

For now she felt it was best to abstain, especially when the panic lingered so close, like it did these days. Being back in the states had brought up some old fears.

Gibbs finished his beer, and opened hers.

She waited for him to acknowledge that she was on anti-anxiety medication. He had seen her at her worst, trying to manage the panic with the pills Adam could get for her.

If Eli could see her now, he would only tell her how weak she was for letting her mind play tricks on her.

She wanted something from the man she considered a father.

"Tali doing okay?" he asked.

Ziva reached into the cookie box, and took a cookie.

"Yes," Ziva said. "She took a little while to adjust to being here, but she is happy now, especially with Tony's father moving so close, and if Tim and Delilah's offer gets accepted. She will be close to lots of family."

Gibbs nodded.

Tali would have the childhood her parents always wanted.

"Family's good," he hummed.

"And, we are not too far from you," Ziva said. "It is a nice area around here."

Gibbs lived in one of the tightest property markets in the region, in an area that Tony and Ziva had dismissed because it was simply too expensive. Eli had left Ziva a lot of money, but she did not want to spend it all on a house. The only part of the suburb they could realistically afford was Gibbs' block, his block was modestly priced, mostly because every eighteen months or so a gunshot went off in the vicinity of Gibbs little craftsman cottage.

Gibbs had too many enemies, and took on the enemies of people he loved.

"Yeah," Gibbs said.

Ziva could feel the ghosts in this house. The little redheaded girl, who liked horses, and loved her Daddy. The proud wife who just wanted her husband to get home safe, except they were the ones who never made it home one day.

Ziva was only two years older than Kelly Gibbs should be.

Ziva had already lived two more years than Shannon got.

"How's DiNozzo doing?" Gibbs asked.

Ziva took a sip of water.

"He is good. I think he's looking forward to his new job," Ziva said. "He has loved being home with Tali, but he was definitely missing something."

"I've heard of the place he's gonna be working at," Gibbs said.

"They help a lot of veterans," Ziva said. "I think Tony will do well there. He wants to help people."

He always wanted to help. To make things better.

"And you?" Gibbs asked. "How are you?"

Ziva ran her hands over her lap.

How was she? Really?

"It has been an adjustment," Ziva admitted. She thought of bumping into Ben Ramsey in his cafe, a place that was a five minute drive from where she now lived. "Being back in the states. When I was with Tony and Tali in Paris, it was like we were in a bubble. Here we have to make the bubble bigger."

Gibbs took a sip of his beer.

"I'm glad you're back," he said.

"Really?" Ziva asked.

"Yeah," he said. "I've been meaning to head up your way."

Ziva frowned.

They had been at their house for over a month, and yet they had not seen his pick-up truck pull up to their driveway.

Tali only knew Gibbs as a man on her parents wedding invite list.

"Really?" she asked again.

He nodded.

"Tony had brought a grill," Ziva said. "We usually use it every Saturday. We always over cater. You should come over one weekend."

She was offering the olive branch.

After all she left first. She made them think she was dead.

"Is DiNozzo any good on that grill?" Gibbs asked.

"You will have to come over and find out," Ziva replied.

She had offered the olive branch, but it was his job to take it.

"I didn't want to turn up empty handed," he announced.

Ziva screwed up her face.

"We always have enough food," Ziva said. "And, we can buy the beer you like."

They only wanted him.

They wanted a house filled with people who loved them. Filled with people that Tali could get to know, people who knew her parents before they were her parents.

"Didn't mean that," Gibbs said, as he pulled himself up, leaning on the table.

How had he not been forced to retire yet?

Gibbs wagged his finger encouraging Ziva to follow him.

She did. She had always been the loyal agent.

Gibbs walked toward the door to the basement, and Ziva felt a pang in her gut.

She could hear the thud of Ari's body as it hit the floor.

The smell of sawdust and bourbon as he opened the door, filled Ziva's nostrils.

Gibbs jogged down the stairs, and stood in the center of the basement in front of his newest project.

Ziva studied the basement steps, and looked down at her feet. Sandals were not the ideal shoes for this adventure.

The same step creaked as she reached the landing.

She took in the project.

It was a dining table in a simple farmhouse style.

One that would fit perfectly into the awkward little dining nook in the new house.

It was exactly what she had been looking for.

"What is this?" she asked as she touched the table top. It was still a little rough, but Ziva did not care if she got a splinter.

"A table," Gibbs said. "Your table."

Her table had been built by love.

This was Gibbs' olive branch.

"Did Tony ask you to do this?" she asked.

Even though the table still needed to be sanded and stained, Ziva could already see it opposite the kitchen island, and with a fruit bowl in the middle.

She could see Tali finishing her homework while Ziva cooked dinner.

She could imagine a full table for Passover, with Tali asking the four questions.

She could see rushed breakfasts and lazy dinners for many years to come. Love was sharing a meal together.

"No," Gibbs said. "When he dropped off the invites a couple of weeks ago, he mentioned you two had been looking for a new table, and you hadn't found anything you like."

"The nook is a weird length and sort of narrow," Ziva said. "All the tables I saw reminded me of the meeting rooms at NCIS."

Gibbs chuckled.

"I told DiNozzo that my neighbour was redecorating and might have a table available," Gibbs said. "I asked him for the measurements."

Ziva raised her eyebrows.

Tony had not really understood her insistence that they buy a new dining table right this minute, when they had previously discussed getting furniture for the new house slowly. Just because they technically had three areas to put a couch, did not mean they needed to buy two more couches right now.

For Ziva, the dining table was the center of the house, she might have been a child of the eighties but her Ima always made sure they ate dinner at the table, and Ziva wanted that for her family. On a table that was big enough to be the center of the household.

"So, you built a table instead," Ziva said, as she took a step back, and admired the table again.

"Yeah," Gibbs said, with just a slight smile.

"Thank you," Ziva said softly.

They had come home to so much love. So much kindness.

"It should seat eight," Gibbs said, "Was thinking of building a bench too for when you've got a crowd."

Tears pricked in Ziva's eyes.

She could see packed Passover dinners with the McGee's, Senior and maybe Gibbs. For just a second she could imagine herself thirty years older, with Tali almost the same age Ziva was now, and with another pair of little legs kicking under the table.

Maybe, one day Ziva would be a proud Grandmother, maybe she would pass on her family recipes to her grandchildren.

For so long she had only been able to focus on the day, and getting to the next one unscathed, now she was willing herself to imagine a world far into the future.

"Thank you," she said again.

It did not feel like enough.

For Ziva, a dining table made a place feel like home, the one from their Parisian apartment had only been big enough for the three of them, and perhaps one guest if they squeezed in, but now their bubble had grown.

There needed to be enough room for everyone.

Gibbs knocked on the table top.

"It's good wood," Gibbs said, "It'll definitely outlive me, and probably will outlive you."

Ziva liked to think of this table sitting in a future Tali's dining room, perhaps even passed onto a child of hers.

"You like it?" Gibbs asked.

"It is perfect," Ziva said.

Gibbs smiled.

"It's not done yet," Gibbs said. "Probably be done in a week or two."

"In time for the wedding," Ziva said to herself.

They weren't doing a sit down meal, between the handful of guests under eight, and the various eating habits of their grown-up guests, they had decided to do a buffet.

Ziva could so easily imagine the table pushed against the wall, the bunting they had brought hanging above the table, and the table bountiful with food. The kids having already dug in before the ceremony started.

She could imagine Gibbs in his best suit, with a flower in his lapel, and his arm looped in hers as they walked toward Tony standing under the chuppah.

"Yeah," Gibbs said. "Guess, you can call it a wedding present."

Ziva smiled.

"I'm glad you stopped by," he said. "Need to know what colour you want this."

Gibbs turned to the shelves and picked up some cans of wood stain. He placed them on the table so Ziva could inspect the colours.

One of them looked like it might be pretty close in colour to the dining chairs they already had.

"Can I help stain it?" Ziva asked.

She thought of how amazing it would be to have her breakfast on a table she had been just a small part of helping build.

"Gotta finish sanding it first," Gibbs said.

In her pocket her phone vibrated.

"I am not really dressed for woodwork," Ziva said, as she looked down at her exposed toes, and relatively new clothes. She lived in linen blend pants in the warmer months.

"Yeah," Gibbs said, giving her a once over.

She pulled out her phone, and read the text message. It was from Tony, like almost all of them.

We're ready to rock and roll. How long do you think you'll be.

"I could come over later," Ziva said. "Maybe tomorrow."

Tomorrow was Friday. The three of them had no real plans. Ziva knew she would miss these lazy days, once the leaves started to fall and their lives got busy.

"You gonna bring Tali?" Gibbs asked.

Ziva looked at the table, and imagined Tali helping sand the table under careful supervision. She imagined Tali pointing to the table once it was set up in their dining room, and saying that she helped make it.

"Maybe," Ziva said.

"I need to thank her for the cookies," Gibbs said. "They were good."

Ziva smiled.

"I will talk to Tony," Ziva said.

"It'd be good to see him too," Gibbs said, looking up toward the stairs.

Tony and Gibbs needed to clear the air.

Ziva imagined the three of them piling into the car, and descending onto Gibbs little house, filling it with noise.

"I will talk to him," Ziva said.

Her phone buzzed again, and she read the text.

Don't rush, we're going for snacks. Want anything?

Gibbs nodded.

"I have to go," Ziva said. "I will talk to you later, and let you know if we will be coming over."

Gibbs smiled.

"Thank you," Ziva said, as she took one last long look at the table. It was not finished, but it was evolving, soon it would be a part of their daily life. Part of their home.

She stepped forward and wrapped her arms around Gibbs. He lent into the hug.

"I'm glad you're back," he said softly. "Really glad."

"Me too," she whispered, as she broke the hug and bopped Gibbs' nose. He smiled. "I will see you tomorrow."

"See ya kid," Gibbs said.

She moved toward the stairs, and rushed up them. She pressed her phone to her ear, and listened to the dial tone become Tony's voice.

"Hi," Tony said. She could hear his smile. "Where are you hiding?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all your kind words/reviews over the past few weeks.
> 
> Sorry there was no chapter last week. My state went into a rather sudden lockdown due to COVID, and then came out of it earlier than expected. I could barely concentrate on netflix let alone writing.
> 
> Anyway, I know Gibbs is rather polarizing in the fandom at the moment, so this chapter is probably going to spark a range of reactions. Gibbs has definitely made some mistakes with Tony (and Tali) after Ziva left, but he has also been a big part of Tony and Ziva's lives, so he will be a part of their lives in this fic. Though as more of a family friend, than a grandparent figure. Also, I've deliberately made it vague about why Jack is no longer in Gibbs' life, because who knows what the show will do in terms of writing Maria Bello out.
> 
> For those of you who don't like Gibbs, he won't be appearing again until the end.
> 
> The next chapter will feature Tony and Ziva going on a much needed date.


	9. Date Night

Tony took a sip of his drink, and looked around the bar. It was a classic bar, with a mirrored drink shelf behind the bar, and high stools. Stools that were not good for his aging knees.

It was also one metro stop from their little house. When they had decided to move back to the states, Tony had worried that they would be stuck in the deepest darkest suburbia, but the area surprised him. They were closest to civilization that he thought.

Ziva took a small sip from her drink, and looked up at him with a smile.

"This was a lovely surprise," she said as she ran her hand through her hair.

Tony looked past Ziva, and to the restaurant. There was no sign of any of the tables becoming available.

The decision to take Ziva out to dinner had been a spur of the moment one, well as a spur of the moment as it could be with a seven year old to consider. As they prepared for the wedding, Tony had come to the conclusion that he and Ziva had not been on enough dates, and he wanted to rectify that.

"I should have booked," he said. "Didn't think this place would be so busy."

It was a Tuesday night, didn't the other suburbanites have things to do.

"It is okay," Ziva said. "We can have a lazy day tomorrow if we are out late."

He placed his hand over hers, and used his thumb to rub her wrist. He noticed her earrings poking out from her mane of hair.

"You've met our daughter, right?" he asked. "She doesn't do lazy days or quiet."

A smile ran through her, and she let out a half laugh.

"We will cross that bridge, yes?" she said.

She scooted closer on her stool, and their knee's bumped.

The world could fall apart outside their window, and neither of them would notice.

"You got that one right," he replied. "We'll almost."

Ziva smiled. A smile that ran right up to her eyes.

"This is nice," she said, as she looked around the bar. "With your father being so close we might be able to do this more often."

In one of the booths near the window a middle aged couple were downing drinks quickly, and barely speaking.

"Maybe not on a school night," he said. "But yeah, we should definitely do more of this."

He started his new job soon. He was about to become a backpack carrying complaing about the metro commuter. He was looking forward to it.

Senior had been so excited when Tony had called him earlier that day, and asked if he wanted to babysit later that evening. Senior had been ready to walk the two blocks to their house before they hung up the phone.

Tony took in Ziva. She was wearing black pants, and a black top that dipped at her back. His only instruction when he told Ziva that he had a surprise planned was for her to dress nice.

She was also wearing her red mules.

"I've got an idea," Tony said, as he looked past her shoulder at the restaurant. A waitress who looked barely old enough to drink, was clearing a table for two.

Ziva raised her eyebrow encouraging him to continue.

"Why don't you click the heels of your ruby slippers together three times, and get us a table," he said.

Ziva rolled her eyes.

"I am surprised it has taken you this long to make a joke about my shoes," Ziva said. "It has been nearly an hour since we left the house."

The mules had a slight heel, and their usual brisk walk to the metro station had been a little slower. Not that Tony minded as the heat had not broken yet.

"I'm half expecting them to run off by themselves," he said.

Ziva smiled, and then shook her head.

They had watched The Red Shoes together ions ago, when Ziva had a little apartment in Silver Spring, and Gibbs was on his Mexica sabbatical.

"Have you got all your jokes out?" she asked.

Tony looked down at his lap.

"Yeah," he said. "It's shoes just seem so out of character for you. You used to live in combat boots."

Ziva tugged at his wrist encouraging him to look up at him.

"I know," Ziva said. "I sort of brought them on a whim. I am still getting used to being back, where every choice I make is not about survival or getting back to you. I am still getting used to the idea that I can just buy things because I could. I am still working out what I look like now that I am not in the shadows."

Tony felt an ache in his gut.

"Well, I feel like a jerk," he said.

Ziva squinted her eyes.

"Please don't," Ziva said. "I seem to have gotten most of my impulse purchases out of my system."

That explained the summer dress that lived in their closet, and still had the tags on.

"They are nice shoes," he said.

The bright red against the black of her clothes was a nice contrast.

"Thank you," she said, as she reached out to the bar, and picked up her drink. She took a careful sip, and put it down again. "I am glad we are doing this, I actually wanted to talk to you about some things, without Tali around."

"I wanted to talk to you about some things too," he said. "You first."

"We shall take turns," Ziva said, using the same voice she used with Tali.

"Deal," he said, as he nodded at her.

"I wanted to talk to you about Gibbs," she said, as she looked down at her lap. "About our visit last week. We have not really talked about that, yet."

They talked about everything now. The good, the bad and the ugly.

So far they had only had a surface conversation. Tony was glad to see the old man, and it was good to see how Tali took to him.

"It was good to see the old man," Tony said softly.

It had been so weird to be back in Gibbs house over five years after his last visit. The house seemed to have barely changed. Except for the new sectional in the living room, replacing that ugly checked couch that was probably as old as Ziva.

Tony, on the other hand, had changed. A lot.

Distance had brought clarity.

"And, Tali liked helping out with the table," Tony said.

Tali had met Gibbs only a handful of times, first when she had been brought to Tony, not that the old man had interacted with Tali much.

The second time had been with the three of them had flown in DC for their far too quick visit during Tali's spring break. They had only seen Gibbs for a few minutes when they stopped in the squadroom.

This time there was no rush. Tali could ask Gibbs all of her questions, and she had so many questions.

What was Daddy like when he worked with you?

Do you really build a whole table? Just for us?

Are you really going to walk Ima down the aisle? Their gonna get married in the garden. Did you know there are fairies in the garden?

Ziva and Tali often hung out at the end of the garden looking for fairies.

"What about you? Ziva asked. "How did you feel? It has been a while since you two have spent a whole afternoon together."

Tony frowned.

He and Gibbs had spent so many afternoons together, and late evenings. There had been so many arrests, and a few close calls.

It felt so long ago.

A lifetime ago.

"I still love the guy," Tony said, feeling his voice crack. "He was a big part of my life. I'm not gonna deny that he helped me grow. The cop he met in Baltimore twenty years ago is completely different from the man I am now. He's part of that change."

Ziva took another quick sip of her drink.

"I feel a but coming," Ziva said.

"It hurt that he didn't reach out after I left," Tony said. At some point during their visit, Ziva had taken Tali upstairs to get some fresh air, and Tony and Gibbs had been left alone. "We talked about it when it was just me and him, I get that he had to hold back because if you hadn't been alive it would have killed him. The whole thing was killing me."

Ziva reached out for his hands, and squeezed them.

Tony wondered what a waitress or other patrons might think if they could overhear their conversation.

Tony's stomach rumbled. He hadn't thought they'd be waiting so long to eat.

"Do you think the two of you will ever be close again?" Ziva asked.

"Maybe," he said. "I'm definitely gonna try. I don't want things to be awkward for you and Tali. I want him to feel welcome at our house."

"I know I invited him to dinner," Ziva said. "But, if you do not want him to come I will cancel."

The plan was for Gibbs to stop by the following Saturday, with the table, as it would be fully stained by then, and stay for dinner to help break the table in.

"It's fine," he said. "I've been thinking about things over the last couple of days. I think I don't need Gibbs in the same way that you and Tim do, and that's okay. Some people are closer to other people than others. Kinda like how Jimmy has always been closer to Ducky than the rest of us."

Tony still had Senior. He and Senior had done what Tim and Ziva couldn't do with the Admiral or Eli, they had built bridges. Tony no longer needed a father substitute.

He reached for his beer, and took a sip. This beer was going down too easily.

"As long as you are okay," Ziva said.

"I am," he replied. "And that table is beautiful. It's going to look amazing in our dining room."

Tony could not wait to share Thanksgiving feasts with all of his favourite people. Or to teach Tali how to make pasta, and for them to sit at the table enjoying their creation. He could not wait for the table to be the stage to their busy family life.

"It is," Ziva said. "What did you want to talk about?"

He smiled.

"Our honeymoon," he announced.

Ziva raised her eyebrow.

The mood between them got lighter.

"I thought we were not taking one," she said, "We are getting married on a Sunday."

The Sunday ceremony was decided on because the Rabbi did not work on Shabbat, and because a handful of the guests were under eight. The plan was to keep it casual, with the ceremony happening around lunch time, and the food being available immediately.

Tali was rather disappointed that the ceremony would be in her words so boring, but after all the drama they had been through Tony and Ziva wanted something boring.

"Well we wouldn't take it directly after the wedding," he said. "But, I would like to take you away somewhere, to celebrate."

This wedding had been a long time coming.

"I think Tali has some time off in February," Ziva said. "We could go somewhere warm."

"We could definitely do that," Tony said, "But, I also want to whisk you away for a weekend. I've already talked to McUncle about cashing in some of the babysitting he keeps offering."

Fear flashed over Ziva's face.

She and Tali had not spent a night apart since Ziva came back to them.

"We would not be taking Tali?" Ziva asked.

"She'a a great kid," Tony replied, "But, she'd definitely cramp our style. Besides, a winery isn't exactly kid friendly."

"I am not so sure," Ziva said.

"Maybe in France a winery would be more kid friendly, but definitely not here," Tony said.

"You know what I mean," Ziva said.

"She's getting older," he said delicately, "Sleepovers are going to be a thing soon, and maybe even sleep away camp. You're gonna have to spend a night away from her at some point."

Her eyes flitted around the room.

He could hear her thoughts, I have spent too many nights away from her.

"I know that," she said. "I am just not sure if I am ready."

He had spent his first night away from Tali the previous April, when he had stayed back in the states for a few extra days after Ziva and Tali flew back to Paris.

Those first few hours had been so weird. The freedom was scary.

By the second day he longed for his family.

"I don't think you're ever gonna be ready," Tony said, as he reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone. "But, this place I was looking at is really lovely."

He navigated to his browser, and opened the browser. He opened one of his bookmarks, and brought up the bed and breakfast he was looking at.

He handed Ziva the phone.

"I was thinking just one night," Tony said, giving her a lifeline. "We could leave early on Saturday morning and be back Sunday afternoon. It's less than two hours from our place."

Ziva swiped through the photos.

"It looks lovely," Ziva said.

"If we go a couple of weeks after the wedding, the fall foliage would be at its peak," he said. "I know how much you like the fall leaves."

Autumn was Ziva's favourite loved crisp air and coloured leaves.

"I think Tali would like to spend some time with the twins," Ziva said.

She was coming around to the idea.

"Shall I book?" he asked. "These rooms go pretty quick."

Ziva handed Tony the phone.

"Yes," Ziva said. "But, not the weekend directly after the wedding. Maybe the week after."

Tony nodded, and opened the booking form on the page, and selected the last weekend in September.

"This is gonna be good," he said, as he clicked through the booking.

"There was something else I wanted to talk to you about," she said.

He got an email confirming the booking, and slid the phone back into his pocket.

"I'm all ears," he said.

"I wanted to talk about your birthday," she said.

He frowned.

"That's not for another eleven months," he said.

"I mean your last birthday," Ziva said. "We did not do anything for your last birthday."

His last birthday had been the same week as Tali finished school, and a few days before they hopped on the plane for DC.

They had celebrated by going out for dinner, mostly because all of their cooking supplies were packed up. There had been a little Italian placed around the corner from them.

"It was a great birthday," he said. "I celebrated with my two favourite people."

Tali had managed to drop most of her pasta down her shirt, and Ziva's face had caught the evening sun perfectly. It was like a scene from a movie.

"I just wish we could have made more of a fuss," Ziva said. "So you know that we appreciate you."

Tony's throat dried.

"I know you appreciate me," he said.

"I know birthdays are a big deal for you," she said.

"Not really," he replied. "At least not now."

His summer birthday often meant he had no friends nearby to celebrate with him.

"And, for the past two years we have not been able to make a fuss of you," Ziva said.

While they had been out of the first lockdown for his first birthday after Ziva came home, they had not ventured far. They had gone to the park and had a picnic making the most of being outside without restrictions.

"What's this about?" he asked.

Ziva looked down at her lap.

"You always said you wanted a surprise birthday party," Ziva said.

"When did I say that?" he asked.

This was news to him.

"We were watching a movie," Ziva said. "It was when I lived in Silver Spring."

He remembered those movie nights, where Ziva would feed him a hearty meal, and sometimes as the credits rolled they would end up stumbling into Ziva's bedroom.

Then the next day as they slogged through another case they would pretend that nothing had happened.

"That was what, fifteen years ago?" he asked "How do you even remember back that far?"

"I have a good memory," she said.

That was both a blessing and a curse.

"Well it's not that good," he said softly, "Because I'm pretty sure that surprise party ended with a mob hit."

Ziva puffed her face out. That had not been the point.

"Besides, that was fifteen years ago," he said again. "That was before I had you and Tali."

"Would you like a surprise party?" she asked. "One day."

"Well it wouldn't really be a surprise if I asked for it," he said. "But, yeah maybe one day."

It would be nice to have all of his favourite people in a room just for him.

"Then again I'm eligible for AARP," Tony said, "So my memory isn't as good as it used to be."

Ziva smirked.

"Seriously," he asked softly. "What's this about?"

"I just want you to know that I love you," she said. "That I appreciate you. You like big gestures, and I do not think I do enough of them for you."

They had both read the love languages book, and his love language was definitely grand gestures. Ziva's main one was act of service, if she made you dinner, it meant she loved you.

"I know," he said. "I promise I know that, and I love you too."

He watched a relief washed through her. He hoped the spiralling thought had been quashed.

"There was something else I wanted to talk to you about," he said. Ziva looked at him, with a raised eyebrow.

"Okay," she said, encouraging him to go on.

"I want to get a dog," he declared. "I know that we were talking about getting one next year, but why wait?"

Ziva's face lit up. She hadn't been expecting that.

:"Really?" she asked.

"Yeah," he replied.

"I thought Tali and I would have to spend weeks trying to convince you," she said. "Tali already told me she was going to ask for one for every birthday until we get one."

Tony smiled. He could imagine Tali asking for a dog at the top of her Christmas list.

"Well, now you don't," he said. "I know Tali wants a puppy, but I'd prefer an older dog. A rescue."

He wanted a dog who hadn't had the best start in life to come and live out the rest of its days with them. They would be like a family in a cereal advertisement; Mom, Dad, happy kid, and dog knocking a glass off the table.

"You have really thought about this, haven't you?" Ziva said.

He wanted a dog to round out their family. They might not be able to give Tali a sibling, but they could give her a canine companion.

"Yeah," he said. "It's a big decision, but I think it's the right one."

"Tali will be very happy," Ziva said.

Tony remembered seeing Tali talk to Odette's dog. Listening to his girl tell the dog all of her secrets.

"We won't let her name it," he said. "She called her toy doggy."

"She was a year old when she named him," Ziva replied.

Tony nodded. Feeling that familiar pang when Ziva spoke of the times he had not been with Tali.

What had Tali been like as a one year old?

Ziva realised that she had hit a nerve, and looked down at her hand.

"It's okay," he murmured, as he tugged at her hand.

They had made peace with the past, and all that they could not change.

"So, when will we be getting this dog?" she asked.

"I've been looking at the local animal shelter, they've got a few dogs that might fit the bill," Tony said. "We should probably get it sooner rather than later. I don't want you to be stuck training it, just because you'll be home all the time."

At the end of the month Tali would be starting at her new school. And, a week later Tony would start at his new job.

Ziva was going to be home for six hours a day for at least four days a week. She had not spent that much time alone since before she came back to them.

"So, before the wedding," Ziva said.

"I guess so," Tony said, as he reached up and tugged at the tips of his hair. "Or maybe we should wait until the winter holidays. We could say the dog is a Christmas present."

"I do not think that is the best idea," Ziva said. "I think we should get the dog soon. It is like you said, why wait?"

He smiled like a kid at christmas.

"I'll make some calls tomorrow," he said. "And, we'll check in with Tali. Maybe, she won't want a dog after all."

Ziva chuckled.

"I do not think there is any danger of that," Ziva declared.

Tony reached for her hand, and admired her ring finger. Her engagement ring glistened in the light.

"Things are gonna look so different by the end of the year," he said.

He and Ziva would be married. Tali would be settled into her new school, and Tony into his new job. There would be a dog tearing up their backyard.

And, the McFamily would be across the street. Their offer had gone unconditional over the weekend, but the house needed some renovations before the family moved in.

Delilah was currently in talks with her work to reduce her security clearance so that she could work from home at least twice a week. If that happened, a secure office would be built in the McBackyard, reducing their tiny garden even more, which meant the DiNozzo house would be the destination for summer barbecues.

"They will," she said with a smile. A smile that did not reach her eyes.

"You okay?" he asked.

"Yes," she said. "I am looking forward to the rest of the year. Who knows what it will bring."

They were still not being careful when it came to having another baby, but had both made peace with the fact it might not happen.

Maybe, a dog could fill the space where a sibling might have been.

"You're really okay?" he asked. "You don't seem to be sleeping well."

Nightmares haunted her, and stole her sleep. Sometimes all the thrashing around woke him up too.

Most mornings he woke up to her side of the bed being both cool and empty.

She was going for such long runs these days.

"It is August," she said, as an explanation.

The nightmares were always worse in the height of summer. The heat seemed to do something to her brain. The old ghosts had nowhere to hide.

"That's all it is?" he asked. "Things seem worse than last year."

Ziva broke his gaze, and looked around the room.

"It has been an adjustment being back here," Ziva said. "I love being home, and I love seeing Tali meet everyone we used to know, but it has been an adjustment."

In Paris, it had been easier in some respects, just them in their little bubble.

"You'd tell me if things got too much, right?" he asked. His voice cracking.

He had nearly lost her too many times. He did not want her to drift away.

It felt like a storm was coming, and he did not want that to pull her under.

"I promise," Ziva said. "And, I promise I am looking after myself."

He opened his mouth, ready to tell her how much he loved her, but the waitress who had asked them to wait at the bar appeared with two menus held to her chest.

Tony scrambled off the stool, and offered his hand to Ziva so she could get down. She refused his arm, and took her spot next to him.

The waitress apologised for the delay, and rattled off the specials. Not that Tony listened, he had decided what he was eating when he scanned the menu while they were waiting.

"We should probably tell your father we will be late," she said, as she followed the waitress, her stupid red shoes clip clopped on the floor.

He followed her, admiring the way her top dipped down her back.

The smell of steak sizzling wafted from the kitchen.

"Will do," he said, as he caught up to her, and placed a hand on her waist. "And, then we'll look lovingly into each other's eyes, and I'll try to make up for all the dates I never took you on."

"I really like that idea," she said with a smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is setting some things up. Things that will see fruit in future chapters.
> 
> The inspiration for this chapter was a picture that made the rounds on Tumblr a few months ago. It was a comic of a dark haired woman wearing red mules, and a tawny haired man sitting at a bar. The pic was reblogged from 'The Storeroom', but I don't know who the original artist was. I don't know where you might find it.
> 
> We're more than halfway through this fic folks. I'm aiming to have at least two more chapters up in December. Thanks for your patience dear readers.
> 
> Thank you so much for all the kind words, reviews, and tweets etc. I'm so behind on review replies but please know I appreciate every single one.


	10. A Crisis of Confidence

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mentions of anxiety throughout the chapter. Look after yourselves dear readers.

Ziva turned the key in the ignition and felt the car engine stop.

It was so quiet now. Too quiet.

Just her and her thoughts.

The clock in the dashboard blinked back at her, revealing that it was lunchtime. Guilt rose through Ziva. It tasted bitter in her mouth.

She rested her arms on the steering wheel, and let out a deep breath. Her eyes burnt from the tears earlier in the day.

She looked a mess.

You have made a mess Ziva, you need to clean it up.

She took another breath, and looked toward the kitchen window, she saw Tony's hand twitching behind the curtain they had hung the other day. They were still trying to make this little house a home.

A fresh wave of guilt rushed over her.

He must have been so worried. She had caused him to much worry. So much pain.

Perhaps too much.

You have made such a mess, Ziva.

She looked up toward the upper window, where Tali's bedroom was, and saw that it was empty.

She hoped Tali had been spared. Protected.

Everything Ziva had ever done, had been to protect Tali.

Tali was getting older now, she would notice that her mother was not like the other mothers. That her mother was full of panic and fear.

A knock on the car window startled her.

Tony stood in front of the window holding her stainless steel water bottle, and a smile plastered on his face. The smile was fake.

She nodded at him, and he opened the door carefully.

"Hi," she said softly, as he took his place in the passenger seat.

"Hi," he said, as he thrust the stainless steel bottle into her hands. It was her water bottle, the light blue one with 'Ziva' engraved on the front. Tony had an orange one with his name on the side, and Tali had a slightly smaller pink one with her name in a cursive font. They were a family with annoyingly monogrammed water bottles. "It's hot out today."

He cared. Even after everything she had done, he cared.

What had she done to deserve someone so kind?

She unscrewed the bottle, and took a sip from the water bottle. The water was so cold, it made her teeth ache.

Tony reached for her running jumper, one made of recycled plastic bottles that made its wearer feel like they were saving the world.

If only it was that easy.

"You must be sweltering in that," he said in the same voice that he used with Tali, when she decided she was going to wear a thick winter jumper in the height of summer.

She put the water bottle in the cup holder, and started to tug the jumper, revealing a running tank top made from scratchy polyester. She threw the zip-up top behind her, and it landed on Tali's booster seat. The booster seat she was getting too big for.

She had been so cold earlier, a side effect of the panic.

"Where is Tali?" she asked, her voice sounded distant.

He reached into the cup holder, and took the water bottle from it, he unscrewed the bottle and took a sip.

"With Dad," he said, as he held the bottle under his chin. Water dribbled down his chin. "They've gone on a Tali and Pop-Pop adventure, I think they are going to be town square."

Ziva's eyes flitted around the car, the only car they had, when she had told Tony she was going out, she had left him almost stranded.

If something had happened to Tali, he would have had no way of getting Tali to the hospital.

Guilt washed back over her. She was such a terrible mother.

She had thought of no one but herself.

"She loves the splash pad," he continued. "And, there's plenty of places for Dad to sit.I made sure she's got her hat."

Senior was so much older now. Probably too old to be looking after a seven year old for hours on end.

"I should not have taken the car," Ziva said.

Tony shook his head.

"It's okay," he said, as he shoved the water bottle into the cup holder. "You know how much she likes riding the metro."

Tali hated the car. If she was stuck in the car for too long she often got sick, and in the car there were no other people to watch.

Ziva pressed her hands into her thighs, feeling the pressure in her palm, trying to break the waves of the panic.

How could she have been so selfish?

"Does Tali-," Ziva started, but felt the words get stuck in her throat. "Does she think something is wrong?"

Tony swallowed thickly.

"She said something to Dad about getting some flowers for you," he said, keeping his eyes focused on the dashboard. "To cheer you up."

She felt the prickles of the panic in her back.

"But, she wants to get you flowers all the time," Tony said. "So, it might just be that."

Tali was always presenting her parents with little gifts. She liked to bring flowers for Ziva, and anything food related for Tony.

Ziva reached up to her necklace and played with the pendant. She remembered the tiny hands that had thrust the necklace into Ziva's hands.

For you Ima.

Ziva sucked in a breath, trying to calm herself down.

"I owe you an explanation," Ziva said.

He looked down at his lap.

"You don't owe me anything," he said, "I'm just glad you came back."

She knew a tiny part of him was expecting her to just disappear one day. He kept that part buried, but it was there.

Maybe, that was why the two of them found themselves in almost constant contact when they were apart.

"I was always going to come back," she said softly.

He winced.

"I know," he said, as he reached for her hand, and squeezed it. "That was a bad choice of words."

Ziva nodded.

"I just needed a time out," she said. "Just a moment."

She needed to get away from the scene of the crime. Away from the bedroom where she had kept them both up too late, with nightmares.

She had not intended to be gone for over six hours.

"I get that," he said.

She was a cat who had been spooked and scampered away.

"I did not intend to be gone for so long," Ziva said softly. "Or to make you worry."

She caught his eyes through the rear view mirror. Hurt passed through him. He looked away, and toward the house.

"I am sorry," she said, her voice cracking.

"Ssh," he said softly. "No more of that."

"I know you were worried," Ziva said. "I know my actions have an impact on other peoples, especially you."

Tony chewed the inside of his cheek.

"I'm not gonna pretend I wasn't worried," he said softly. "And, the stress of that worry may have led to me emptying athe dishwasher and doing all the laundry."

Ziva let out a half laugh.

Tony was a doer, he needed to fix what was broken. When he still had a badge, he could channel his worry into his job, to chasing down leads, and long nights in the squad room.

Now he could only channel his worry into chores.

He had gotten so good at laundry during the two lockdowns the previous year.

"Honestly," he said, as he pressed the button to open the window just a little. The air in the car was getting thick. "I was a little hurt."

"Hurt?" Ziva echoed.

That was unexpected.

"I know it's not the best reaction to have," he said, his voice cracking, "But, yeah I was a little hurt. After you had the anxiety attack last night I tried to comfort you and make you feel safe again, and then you just went downstairs. I tried to stay awake for you, but you never came back to bed. Then when you did come back it was at the crack of dawn, and it was to tell me you were going for a run."

Ziva felt tears prick at her eyes.

She had made such a mess.

"I know your brain was probably telling you that you did not deserve to be comforted, and that you need to be alone," Tony continued, "But, it made me feel like I couldn't do anything to help you."

Sleep had been futile that night. Ziva had tossed and turned trying to settle. Then when sleep finally came, it did not bring peace.

Sahar stood above her cackling.

You will amount to nothing.

You are a burden on your family.

They all hate you. You left them.

It had taken far too long to wake up, but as Ziva did wake, she felt that familiar tightness in her chest, and tingling in her hands.

Ziva had tried to catch her breath, but before she could she heard a shriek in the room. A shriek that was coming from deep inside her.

The shrieking had woken Tony.

It's okay, he had murmured, as he tried to pull her close, but she had pushed him away. He kept talking, despite her rejection.

Tali's right down the hall.

We're all safe.

It's over, Ziva. I promise you it's over.

We are okay.

Her breathing had eventually calmed, but Ziva had known that there was no way she would be going back to sleep.

I am okay, she had said eventually, I love you, go back to sleep.

He had turned over in bed, and Ziva had slipped out of the room.

She crept down the stairs, and into the room that they were calling the den, it was a porch that had been turned into a sunroom years ago, and was housing the piano and some bookshelves. In all the house it was Ziva's favourite room, especially in the daylight hours when the sun came in through the windows.

As tea cooled next to the piano, Ziva had tried to unscramble her mind.

She watched the sun rise from the big windows, and tried to keep the anxiety at bay, but just as she thought she was calm, it would resurface.

You are a burden on your family.

Eventually, she decided the only way to try and shed this panic was to go for a run.

"I am sorry," she said. "I just knew I was not going to go back to sleep, and I did not want to keep you up. And, then this morning, I still felt out of sorts, and I thought a run would help."

Getting outside for exercise was part of her mental health first aid kit. Something that made her feel in control. Something that kept the panic at bay.

She had run until her chest ached and her legs were jelly, and still the panic lingered.

"Did it?" he asked.

Running was supposed to help complete the cortisol cycle. It was supposed to help.

As she held onto the trunk of a tree at Rock Creek park and wheezed, she realised she needed more.

"A little," she replied. "Less than I thought it would."

She was still so raw.

"From the outside," he started, "It seemed like it was a pretty bad one."

Ziva pressed her teeth into her lower lip.

"It was," Ziva said. "I have not had one like that in a while."

He squeezed her hand again.

"They used to be like that when we were apart," Ziva said.

Back then things had been so badly managed. She was taking smuggled pills, and never consistently.

Back then there was a threat keeping her from her family.

"Is that why you wanted to hide?" he asked, before shaking his head. "I mean is that why you needed to get out, afterwards?"

He saw right through her. He always had.

"I think that was part of it," Ziva said.

"Do you have any idea what caused it?" he asked.

August was often a month where Ziva found herself with broken sleep. In August Saleem Ulman had been at his worst.

In August almost all of her dreams were haunted.

"I think this one has been brewing for a while," she admitted.

She had felt herself slipping in the last few days. Sleep had been hard to come by, and she often felt herself zoning out, when Tony or Tali were talking.

Then came the intrusive thoughts that echoed in her head.

You do not deserve them.

You are a waste of space.

"I wondered," he said softly. "You've not really been yourself lately."

She had thought she had been better at hiding it.

How silly it was to think she could hide this from her.

"And, the other day at dinner," he continued. "When you asked me if I knew how much you appreciated me. I wondered if something was up then."

The tears that had been trying to fall, broke their dam, and fell down Ziva's face.

"I am so sorry," she said again.

He pulled his hand out from hers, and then used his arm to pull her close. It was an awkward hug in the car.

"It's okay," he whispered.

"I thought I was getting better," she said, "I have been working so hard to get better. I need to be the best mother to Tali and partner to you."

"You don't need to be the best," he said. "We just need you here, however you are. We can't do this without you."

She had caused so much pain. She had to make it better.

"We love you," he said.

Ziva used her hand to wipe her tears.

"What do you need me to do?" he asked. "To help you."

He was a doer. He needed to fix things. He had once tried to fix the world.

"Do you want to postpone the wedding?" he asked.

"No," Ziva said. "Tali would never forgive us."

She wanted to marry him. She wanted to call him her husband. She wanted to see Tali and all their friends to clap when the rabbi finally declared them husband and wife.

"I want it to be a happy day," he said. "For all of us."

And, it would be. Tali would twirl in her new dress. All of their favourite people would celebrate with them. Ziva and Tony would kiss under the chuppah.

"It will be," Ziva assured him.

She did not want the panic to poison the day. They had fought so hard to get this far.

Tony nodded.

"Do we need to move back to Paris?" he asked. "It wasn't like this in Paris."

Ziva felt a pang in her heart.

He wanted to fix this. He was trying to fix this. He would do anything to fix this.

He was fighting for her. He had always been fighting for her.

"No," Ziva said, "We do not have to move, I would not disrupt your lives like that."

She had disrupted them too much already.

Tony opened his mouth, but no words came out.

"I think this anxiety attack might have happened if we still lived in Paris," she declared.

He raised an eyebrow.

There was so much he did not know. Even though their apartment had been a third of the space as the house, it had been easier to slip out for a few moments.

Sometimes it was taking extra long to take the rubbish out. Sometimes it was going to the storage crate in the cellar to find something that was in the back wardrobe. Sometimes it was taking a few extra minutes to come back from her run, and sitting in the car.

All she had needed was a few minutes to compose herself. To breathe deep.

"So much of last year felt like time was suspended," Ziva said softly. "And, now we are coming back down to earth."

The lockdowns had been hard at the time, but Ziva had seen the silver lining, the three of them had gotten to spend a lot of time together. Ziva and Tali had found new traditions to share. Tony and Ziva had worked through the past, and started to talk about the future.

She knew that for other families the lockdowns had been a hardship, and the pandemic still impacted their lives, but in their tiny little Parisian apartment things had been quite lovely.

"I think it felt like that for a lot of people," he said.

It had been hard to be inside for so long, but Ziva would remember the lazy days fondly. She and Tali had tried so many new recipes, and the three of them had spent many afternoons curled up on the couch.

"Exactly," she said. "And, now it feels like everything is real. Especially being back here, I have to face consequences of my actions, and people who I have hurt."

Tony frowned.

"So being back here is hard?" he asked.

The others might have forgiven her, but there was still so much to discuss. She had missed over half a decade of her favourite people's lives.

"A little, but I need to do this, I need to work out what my relationship is with people I once considered family," she said. "It is about the future I want."

Tony's eyes flitted around the car.

"Do you want me to cancel Gibbs on Saturday?" he asked.

Gibbs was coming over with the dining table he had built for them. The plan was for him to stay for dinner, and for the adults to try to find some common ground now that Gibbs was the only one with a badge.

"No," Ziva said. "I know I am having a bad day today, but I think I will be better soon."

She would not allow herself to dwell on this.

She would not allow her panic to poison her family.

"Do you wanna hold off on getting the dog?" he asked.

They had told Tali about their plan to get a dog, and she had run through the house shrieking with excitement. The plan was to visit the local animal shelter that very weekend.

"No," she said firmly. "Tali would never forgive us."

She had asked Tali to forgive too much.

"I just don't wanna add extra stress," he replied.

"I know," she said softly, catching his eye in the rearview mirror. "But, I think a dog will be good for us."

A dog would even out their family. Tali would have her confidant. Ziva would have someone to keep her company when Tali started school and Tony started at his new job.

"What can I do?" he asked desperately. "I wanna help you."

"You do help me," Ziva said. "You are there for me. You make sure Tali feels safe even when I am not at my best. You do so much for me. For us."

"You're a good Mom," he said softly. "You know that right?"

Mom, sounded so foriegn, so American. Tali sometimes referred to Ziva as her Mom, and it sometimes felt like she was talking about someone else.

She was not, but she appreciated him trying to tell her so.

"I try," she said.

Maybe one day she would be the mother that Tali deserved.

"And a great partner," he said. "I can't wait to call you my wife."

Ziva smiled at him. A soft smile. She wanted to believe him so badly.

"You can talk to me about it if you want," he said carefully, "I promise to just listen."

"Most of my anxiety at the moment," Ziva said as she looked down at her lap. "Is about the future, and what my future will look like."

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"Well," Ziva said. "I know my future involves you two, but not much else. Tali is starting her new school, and you are going to start your new job, and I am just going to be in the house waiting for you to come home."

Tony gulped.

She had thought, when they were organising the move that she would have gotten pregnant by now. That she could have used all this time to prepare for a whole other person. A person she could lose herself in.

A blank slate, that would only get the best of her.

Now, they were not so sure if another child would even happen. Ziva had made peace with that fact that would never see Tony hold his infant child, and that she would never give Tali a sibling.

"I really hope that you don't spend all day staring at a wall waiting to pick up Tali," he said.

Tali would be starting at the local Jewish day school in a little over a week, and Tony was starting at his new job the Tuesday after labor day.

In Paris, and with the stay-at-home orders, sometimes it had been so hard to get just ten minutes of alone time, and now she was facing hours of it.

"I will not," Ziva said. "But, you get my point."

For six hours a day, her days would be nothing but her own, and that scared her. She had never had so much time to herself. Not since she had come back to them.

"Kinda," he said. "I thought you were looking into the community college."

She knew the webpage for the community college inside and out. She knew the requirements and about the upcoming open day. She had read the testimonials of students who had started at the college, while juggling multiple children, or rebuilding their lives after years lost to addiction, and had gone onto graduate from four-year colleges and onto great careers.

The problem was that Ziva could not see herself there.

"I was, I am," Ziva said, "But, I am wondering what would actually come of it. I am so close to forty, if I started at the community college next spring and eventually transfer to a university, I would probably take four or five years to graduate. I would be in my mid-forties, and be in the same position as a twenty-two year old. Who would hire me?"

She had been so young when her father placed a gun in her hands. Now, she was older than she ever expected it to be.

And, except for Tony and Tali, she had so little to show for it.

"You wouldn't be exactly like a twenty-two year old," he said softly. "Your life experience would count for a lot."

She had always wanted to help people, but she had hurt so many people instead.

"All of my experience is in law enforcement or things I would prefer not to disclose in an interview," Ziva said. "What skills would I have to offer?"

What good could she do?

"Yeah," he said, "You've got a lot of really specific skills, and you're probably right that your knife throwing skills won't be needed, but you've got a lot of other skills, transferable and soft skills."

"Are you using words from your new job?" she asked.

There were self-help books about career transitions on his nightstand.

"Exactly," he said. "Look at that new job I got. I have never worked anything close to that. On my resume they could see I had been out of work for five years, and that all of my previous experience was in law enforcement. My new boss could also see that I graduated college in a year they barely remember, and I still got the job. They know they are taking a chance on me, but I've always been the wildcard."

"But," Ziva started, "You at least have your college degree that would have counted for something."

"Honestly," he said softly, "I barely remember college, and my GPA was only good enough to keep playing ball. I know you, you'll have an impressive GPA. You have an amazing work ethic. Do you remember how hard you worked to become an American citizen?"

She could have just memorised the answers to the questions, but Ziva wanted to understand what all those answers meant. For over six months she had read every book about American history and the declaration of independence. In part it had been a distraction from the thoughts that still haunted her months after they had pulled her out of Saleem's dusty cell.

A tear fell down Ziva's face.

He was tearing her argument to shreds.

He believed in her.

"You know there a lot of ways to go about things," he said. "You don't have to go to college, if you don't want too."

"I have no idea what I even want to do, but I do want to go to college," she admitted. "I have just always wanted to go college. The way you and Tim used to about college, I want that. I know it would be different, but I want that."

She wanted to learn new things. She wanted a diploma on her wall.

"I am sure once you start, you'll find something you really want to do," he said. "You have so much to offer any organisation."

Ziva frowned.

How could he make it sound so easy?

"I do not have that much to offer," she said.

Tony shook his head.

"You speak like ten languages," he said softly, "Not a lot of people can do that. You have this amazing sense of justice, even though you don't have a badge anymore, you could still use that. You'll find something that gets your back up, and will fight for what you believe in. I know you, you'll fight for people who need your help."

Ziva felt another tear slip down her face.

"Sometimes I wish that you saw yourself in the same way that other people do," he said. "I know people never see themselves how others see them."

"You are good at this," she said softly.

"What?" he asked.

"Pep talks," Ziva said, "When Tali is older you will be the one to talk her down. It will probably come in handy with your job too."

"I hope so," he said. "You know, I'm freaking out a bit. It's a big change. They say you can't teach an old dog new tricks."

"You will be amazing," Ziva said.

She believed in him. He would do good.

"And so will you, when you find what you wanna do," Tony said. "I dated this girl in college for a hot minute who was always doing internships to work out what she wanted to do. She graduated with a degree in English Lit, did a bunch of things, and now works for a non-profit in New York that helps foster kids who are aging out of the system. She does a lot of good in the world."

Ziva flinched at the mention of a previous girlfriend. Even if the relationship had only lasted a hot minute.

"I found her on LinkedIn when I was soul searching in the career front, she's done so much," Tony said. "You'll stumble into something and fall in love. You might not know what it is yet, but that's kinda exciting, isn't it?"

She wanted to bottle his optimism, and drink it in.

"It is," Ziva said, hoping that if she started to say it, she would believe it. "And, in the meantime I am going to focus on my mental health."

Tony nodded.

"So no more sharing wine when munchkin has gone to bed?" he asked.

Alcohol did not mix well with her meds. She would miss their cuddles on the couch with a bottle of wine. They would still have the cuddles, but with tea steaming on the coffee table.

"Yes," Ziva said. "At least not for me, and I am going to do all the things that make me feel better. I have kind of let those things slide."

She was going to go for a run every day, or at least get outside.

"Like that second lockdown?" he asked.

The second lockdown in Paris had been harder than the first, mostly because it was in the winter, and they felt so far away from their families.

When the dark mood clung to her, Ziva had started to try and fight it. She went outside as often as she could, and made sure she cooked healthy food for her family. Cheesy pasta was good, but not every day.

Being locked down for the holidays, especially after she had missed so many, had been so hard.

"Yes," she said. "And, I am going back to therapy."

She needed to be the best person she could be, for her partner, for her daughter, and for herself.

Especially for herself.

"Wow," he said.

She had been so certain, when they left Paris, that she was done with therapy. She had learnt her skills. She had talked out as much of the trauma as she ever would.

"I think there are still some things I need to work on," Ziva said. "So I can be the best person I can be."

"Okay," he said. "Have you found one?"

"I have been thinking about this for a while," Ziva said, "I had a list, and after my run today, I called one and I have an appointment tomorrow."

The list had been on her phone for weeks now, and her therapist in Paris had made some recommendations when Ziva's had announced the move.

"I'm proud of you," he whispered. "I know that would have been hard."

"It was," Ziva said, "But, I needed to do it. I am going to also talk about my medication. I wonder if I need to change the dose. A part of me thought that one day I would be able to stop the medication, but maybe not. Maybe, the medication will be a long-term thing."

Tony reached for her hand. He squeezed it tight.

"Nobody thinks any less of you because of the meds," he said. "It's just like Dad with his heart medication."

Ziva did not think it was the same, but was not going to fight it.

"I know," she said. "It is just something I need to make peace with. I will make peace with it."

"Is there anything you need me to do?" he asked, "To help."

He needed to fix things. He was a fixer.

"Actually," she said softly. "I would like to go to the beach for the weekend, all three of us."

She wanted to take Tali to the beach, and to hold her hand as the sea crashed over them.

She wanted to smell the salt of the Atlantic Ocean on Tali as they cuddled up after dinner.

As a child, the ocean had been her happy place. Maybe, if she could capture just a tiny bit of that joy, she could hold onto it, as the weather started to cool.

"I know it is late in the season," Ziva said. "Maybe, we could just do a daytrip. I just would like to go to the ocean."

If they left early, and ate dinner on the way home, they could still spend the majority of that day at the beach. That would be enough.

Tony shook his head.

"Leave it with me," he said. "We'll have our beach weekend."

"Maybe, we could do it during the week," Ziva said, "We might have more luck finding somewhere to stay."

He leaned over and lightly placed his finger on her lips.

"Leave it with me," he said.

"Thank you," she said.

"Is there anything else you need me to do?" he asked.

"No," Ziva said. "You do so much."

He made her feel safe. He let her lash out. He loved her despite all of the darkness she kept bringing up from inside of her.

"Can we go inside?" he asked. "It's a sweat box in here."

Ziva nodded. She wanted to leave these bad thoughts behind.

Tony's stomach rumbled.

"Have you eaten yet?" She asked.

"I may have stress ate all the snacks in the house," he said, with his trademark DiNozzo grin. "But, I can eat."

She opened the door of the car, and put her feet on the ground of her driveway.

Her driveway. Her house. Her partner. Her child.

Two years ago Ziva could never have imagined this simple little life.

"We are going to be okay," she said, mostly to herself.

"We're gonna be better than okay," Tony said.

Ziva's pressed the fob on and the car beeped,

Then she heard her favourite sound. Her daughter's voice.

"Yeah, Daddy said we can get a dog," Tali said, her voice getting louder as she moved closer. "I want to name her Lucy, but Dad says the dog might be a boy, and Lucy is a girl's name. I can't think of a boy's name. So the dog needs to be a girl."

Like her father, Tali's mouth could run a mile a minute.

Ziva put her hand over her eyes to shield them from the sun, and saw Tali skipping down the street with Senior shuffling behind her, and carrying bright yellow sun flowers.

Ziva loved sunflowers. They were so bright.

"Ima's home," Tali said, turning her skip into a run. Her sun hat fell off as she ran. Tony moved to pick it up.

Senior and Junior shared a nod, and a few raised eyebrows. All would be explained when Tony escorted Senior back home after lunch.

Tali's run got faster, and she bumped Ziva as they met in the driveway. Ziva buried her nose in Tali's hair.

I will be my best for you, she promised Tali, as she took in her sweet scent.

"We got you flowers," Tali said. "To make you smile. Do they make you smile?"

Senior waved the flowers, and gave Ziva his own version of the DiNozzo grin under his panama hat.

"They do," Ziva said softly, as she pulled back from the hug, and studied Tali. Her daughter. Her love. Her light. "Just like you do."

Tali placed her hand in Ziva's and they made their way into the house, with Tony trailing behind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't plan on releasing this chapter a couple of days after Christmas, but this year has been a hell of a ride and lots of plans have been thrown out of whack. For those of you who are celebrating something at the time of year I'm sending you well wishes and joy.
> 
> The next chapter will feature a new addition to the family and should be up in a few days. I have the week between Christmas and New Year's off, which gives me lots of writing time.
> 
> Thank you so much for all the kind words, reviews and tweets. Thank you so much for being so patient with the updates.


	11. I Love Lucy

"So, we're really gonna do this," Tony said, as he pulled up in front of the animal shelter.

Ziva unclipped her seatbelt, and looked at him through the rearview mirror. She raised just one eyebrow calling him out.

"We are," she declared.

With a careful blink of her eyes, she reminded him that he was the one who wanted this.

He was the one who had been looking into which dog would be the best fit for their little family.

He was the one who had raided Tali's craft supplies, and drawn a coupon to announce to Tali that they would be getting a dog before she started school.

He was the one who came back from yet another visit to a big box store with a dog bed, that Ziva had told him the dog probably wouldn't ever use.

Tali looked around the car, and through the windscreen to the building they were parked in front of, her mouth opened with a question, but she did not say anything.

It was finally happening and she did not want to jinx it.

"Are you sure?" he asked. "I mean after the other day."

It had been three days since Ziva had disappeared the morning after an anxiety attack. It had been two days since Ziva had gone back to therapy. It had been a day and a half since he had filled a new prescription for her, a higher dose of anti anxiety medication.

It had been a day and a half, since he had used a visit to the bathroom to google what to do when someone you love was changing their anxiety medication.

She still woke up durning the night, and often headed downstairs to room he liked to refer to as the sunroom, her favourite corner of the house, but she came back to bed pretty quickly, and the two of them would fall back to sleep next to each other.

"It's not too soon?" he asked.

Ziva shook her head.

She had been clear. She was determined not to let her mental health stop anything, especially something Tali was looking forward to.

Still, Tony worried if it was too much. A part of him would always worry.

"If I did not think this was a good idea," Ziva said, as she took off her sunglasses and folded them over her t-shirt, dragging the v-neck down with the weight. "I would have saved us a forty minute drive."

Especially since he was a little worse for wear. Gibbs had come over the night before to deliver the dining table he had made them. Gibbs had stayed for dinner and late into the night. Senior had come to dinner as well, mostly to hang out with Tali, and had also brought some wine for the grown ups to share. The riesling had gone down far too easily.

A little girl walked past the car, two adults slightly behind her, and a leash in one of the grown-up's hands.

At the end of the leash was a dog. A beagle mix with big floppy ears.

That would be them within the hour.

"Ima," Tali called out, as she tugged at her seatbelt. "Daddy!"

Tali had only been told they were going on an adventure, not that they were going to the animal shelter. The coupon for the visit to the shelter did not expire until the following weekend.

"So, we're really gonna do this," Tony said.

A dog had been part of the plan, the list of goals they had made in their stuffy Parisian apartment, after they decided to move back to the states.

In the plan they had scribbled out on a daggy legal pad, a dog was supposed to coincide with Tali's eighth birthday.

Tali was only just seven. Her seventh birthday had been the last big thing they did in the apartment, before they started packing up their life.

It had been Tony who had brought the dog forward. He had seen how Tali bonded with Odette's dog. He had wanted another being in the house that sometimes felt too big, even if it was the average size for the neighbourhood. He had thought a dog might help shake Ziva from the cloud that hung over her.

He also wanted to give Tali the childhood he had always wanted. For his seventh birthday, he had asked for a puppy, and he had really thought he would get one, his Nanny at the time had said seven was a lucky number, and he was turning seven in the seventh month of the year.

But, that was the year that his Mom started coughing up blood, and his Dad started each morning with a glass of scotch.

"I think this will be good for us," Ziva declared, as she opened her door to get out of the car. "All of us."

He pressed the button that disabled the child lock on the rear doors with a click.

"What are we doing here?" Tali asked, as she unclipped her seat belt and scrambled to get out of the car. "Are we getting a dog today?"

"All shall be revealed, monkey," Tony said, as he opened his door and pulled himself up.

He adjusted the buttons on his linen shirt, and determined that he needed to start limiting his snacks, now that he no longer burnt calories through incidental exercise. It was just too easy to get in the car.

Tali slipped out of the car, and then slammed the door. For someone so little she had a lot of force.

The family met each other at the path in front of the car. Tali reached out for Ziva. Ziva smiled under her squinting eyes. Tony pressed the button on the car key, and it beeped.

"Are we getting a dog?" Tali asked again, looking between her parents. "You said next week. Are we doing it now?"

Ziva's face broke into a smile, revealing the secret. For someone who used to deal in the currency of secrets, she had a terrible poker face when it came to Tali.

"We are going to talk to the nice people here about getting a dog," Tony said carefully, "Maybe, we'll take one home."

There was a dog crate in the trunk of the car.

Tony had hidden a brand new dog bed in the basement.

They expected to leave today with a furry friend for their family.

"And, if we meet a dog that might be a good fit for us we will talk about that," Ziva said, adopting his careful tone. "Remember what we talked about, all have to agree on the dog we adopt."

Tali's little face lit up.

"We're getting a dog," Tali declared, bouncing on the balls of her feet. "And, we're going to call her Lucy."

Tony frowned. Tali was going to be very upset if they ended up getting a boy dog.

He wouldn't mind having another guy around the house.

"Remember what we talked about," Ziva said as she took Tali's hand. "When we decided to get a dog."

A young couple walked past carrying a cat crate, and talking about names. One of them wanted Charlie and the other wanted to call the creature Boots.

Tali nodded. Tony took her other hand.

"It might not be a Lucy," Tali repeated, "But, I'll love them all the same."

The path was wide, and the three of them walked three a breast. Tali, despite having the smallest legs of the three of them lead the way.

"What would be a good boy dog name?" Tali asked. "I can't think of any."

Tony mentally ran through some dog names from movies; Beethoven, Marley, Odie, Toto, and Skip.

He was also partial to the classic Fido. That dog had been loyal to a fault.

"I think we will have to meet them to decide on their name," Ziva said delicately. "Sometimes you cannot name someone until you know them."

Tony hoped he had the power of veto if Tali suggested a ridiculous name. She had called her toy dog the Hebrew equivalent of doggy, so the bar was low.

"Is that how you decided on my name?" Tali asked.

Ziva stopped for just half a second. The question had knocked the wind out of her.

"Something like that," Ziva said. "I had a list of names, but I waited until I saw you before I decided to call you Tali."

Tony wondered how much of Ziva's story was true, but he was not about to let the truth get in the way of a good story.

And, Tali so loved stories about her early life. She wanted to build the legend of Tali DiNozzo.

In the passenger seat of a car by the entrance an elderly woman who was sobbing. Tony reminded himself that some people came here to surrender animals.

Senior's apartment building had a strict no pets policy. Not that it stopped a group of old ladies from feeding a colony of stray cats outside the lobby.

Senior was very excited by the thought of a grand-dog. He had brought a squeaky toy shaped like a hamburger in preparation for the new addition.

We didn't really get much time to prepare last time, did we? Senior had said as Tali ran off with the toy to show Ziva and Gibbs, who were in the garden.

"What else were you going to call me?" Tali asked.

Tony broke off from their trio, and moved ahead to open the door for his girls.

"I do not really remember," Ziva said, "It was a long time ago, and none of it mattered, as soon as I saw you, you were my Tali."

Tali broke off and walked through the door. Ziva followed behind, smiling at him as he held the door open.

There was suddenly a lot of noise. A dog barking. The painful meow of a cat. Excited chatter of families about to grow by four paws.

The lobby smelt like wet dog, and bleach.

Ziva followed Tali, and placed her hands protectively on Tali's shoulders.

"Are you ready?" Ziva asked Tali.

Tali nodded. The braids Ziva had tugged Tali'a hair into earlier that day bounced.

A woman who looked barely old enough to drive, stepped out from behind the desk, and held out a tablet.

"You must be the DiNozzo's," she said.

Ziva did not correct the girl, it was far too much of a story to explain, and in a few weeks it wouldn't matter.

"We are," Tony said, as the tablet was thrust into his hand.

"Bring this back when you're ready," the girl declared before disappearing behind the desk. "With some I.D."

There was a rather in depth form that required his attention, and the reading glasses Ziva had been nagging him to get.

Ziva stood on her tiptoes, and looked over at the form. She took her hands off Tali's shoulder, and reached over for the tablet.

Tali scampered off to the fish tank next to the desk.

She filled out the form scarily efficiently with a few clicks. She was a millennial after all.

"Would you say we are a quiet house?" she asked.

"Compared to the soap opera two doors down, yeah," he said.

Their neighbours two doors down were an older lady, and her adult sons. Most of their arguments were in Cantonese but they were certainly loud, and often at late hours. They almost always ended up with the younger son speeding off in a car that was illegally modified.

Ziva tapped out some answers, and scrolled to check them.

"I said that someone will be home most of the time," Ziva declared, referring to herself, "And, that we would prefer an adult dog but not a senior dog."

Tony nodded, and handed Ziva his drivers licence. Ziva walked toward the front desk, her sandals squeaky on the ground. She had put her hair into a French braid to keep cool. It gave him an amazing view of her slender neck.

He knew that senior dogs were less likely to be adopted, but he did not want to teach Tali about death with a dog who was only going to be with them for a year or two.

The kid had been through enough trauma. All of them had been through enough trauma.

Tali scampered over to Tony.

"Dad," she said, tugging at his hand, "Come see the fish, one of them looks just like Nemo."

Tony wished he could still enjoy that movie, but Palmer had once spent a good five minutes of their Dad check-in explaining how clown fish changed sex, and he hadn't been able to look at Marvin the same way. There had been a period during lockdown where Tali watched Finding Nemo and it's sequel on repeat.

The girl at the desk looked over the form, and started to ask questions.

"Yes, I would be the one at home," Ziva said, her voice carrying over the noise in the lobby.

"So, you're still working from home," the girl said, "Cool."

"Yes, something like that," Ziva declared.

Tony let Tali drag him toward the fish tank, and the two of them looked at the tropical fish. There were so many bright colours.

"Is the dog gonna stay with Ima, while I'm at school?" Tali asked. "And, you're at work."

"Yeah," Tony said, "And, then when you come home, you can hang out with them."

"Good," Tali said. "I don't want Ima to be alone. Especially when she is sad."

Tony's heart heaved . They had tried to protect her from it all, but she had seen through it.

Of course he should expect nothing less from a kid that was part him and part Ziva.

"A dog will be good for all of us," Tony said.

A hand touched his shoulder. A familiar hand. He turned slightly, and saw Ziva. She handed his driver's licence to him.

A few feet behind her stood the girl.

"I have a few dogs I think you guys should meet," she said, "Let's meet your fur-ever friend."

Tali clapped her hands together in excitement, and followed the girl. The girl had a high ponytail that swung as she moved.

Tali followed the girl and started asking questions.

"How many dogs are here?" Tali asked.

"Lots," the girl said, "We have space for over a hundred, but we never have that many here. Most of the dogs get adopted very quickly."

Tony moved toward Ziva, and reached for her hand.

"That poor girl," he murmured, "Tali's got like a million questions."

"What dog has been here the longest?" Tali asked.

"Sadie said Tali was cute," Ziva said, "So we have a little time before she gets annoying."

The girl, her name was Sadie Tony reminded himself, swiped a card by a sensor and then they all walked into a lobby. On one side there was a sign for cats, and another for dogs.

Tony looked through the window, and saw a grey paw hanging out of a cat cage. Maybe, one day they would come back for a feline friend. He rather liked the idea of a cat hanging around their house.

Sadie swiped a card again and they walked into the room.

Dogs started to bark.

Tony studied the kennels, they reminded him of prison, and that time he was framed for murder. He wanted to rescue them all.

Sadie and her long ponytail swished, and stopped in front of a kennel.

The dog came to the front of the kennel. Tali rushed to the front.

"Careful Tali," Ziva warned. "Do not put your fingers in the cage."

Tali stood close to the cage, so that she and the dog were almost touching, with the metal cage between them.

"This is Bella," Sadie said, "She's nearly four."

Ziva walked toward the cage and studied the dog, with her coffee coloured fur and dark snout. She did not look like a Bella, she needed a tougher name like Athena or Artemis.

"Hello," she said softly.

"Is she part German Shepherd?" Tony asked, as he watched his girls fall in love with the dog.

"We think she's a German Shepherd and chow mix," Sadie said. "They can be very stubborn, but they are great with kids."

Tony frowned.

"Just what I need in my life," he said in a stage whisper. "Another stubborn woman in my life."

Ziva turned quickly, and shot him a filthy look.

Sadie tried to hold back a laugh.

"Our yard is big, but not that big," Tony said, "I've met a few Shepherd's in my time. They need a lot of space, don't they?"

Sadie looked at the dog.

"They do," Sadie said, "But, if you take her out for walks every day she should be okay."

"Ima could take her on her runs," Tali declared.

Ziva looked at the dog, and then up at Tony, with her own puppy dog eyes. He motioned his head to move on.

They couldn't just pick the first dog they saw, could they?

They had to give the other dogs a chance.

"Shall we see the other dogs?" Ziva asked Tali, as she took Tali's hand.

Tali stood still for a second, and then moved.

"Bye Bella," Tali said waving at the dog.

They passed another kennel, and a pit bull mix, looked at them with sweet eyes.

In another kennel a pair of Jack Russell mix puppies shared a massive dog bed.

"And this is Teddy," Sadie said, as they stopped in front of another kennel. A dog that looked like a teddy bear sat in its bed. It was a soft white colour, with dark fur around its muzzle likely from scoffing his food. "He's at the upper end of your age limit."

"He looks like a bear," Tali declared, "Is that why he's called Teddy?"

"Probably," Ziva said.

"How old is he?" Tony asked.

"We think he's seven, labradoodles are considered to be senior at about nine." Sadie said, "But, we didn't get a lot of information about him. He was abandoned in front of our office last Spring."

Tony's heart broke for the sweet dog.

Who could abandon such a sweet creature?

"There are lots of dogs to see," Ziva said, as she shuffled Tali along.

If Tali had her way they would adopt all the dogs.

They shuffled along the corridor, and looked at the different dogs. There was a dog with only three legs, next to a dog who was missing an eye.

Tony recognised some of the dogs from the shelters website, when he had been looking into different animal shelters, they still had not found homes.

He hoped they found homes soon.

"Look Ima," Tali said, as she stopped in front of a kennel. "This one's name is Lucy."

Sadie was a few kennels further down, but saw that they had stopped, and moved back toward them.

Lucy had a golden coat, and looked like a dog from cereal advert. She, unlike the other dogs, stayed in the back of the kennel.

"I think she wants space," Tony said carefully, before moving back to meet Sadie.

Tali stepped back, and reached for Tony's hand. Ziva looked the dog in the eyes, and crouched in front of the cage.

The dog slowly got up, and shuffled toward Ziva.

Ziva stayed still. Eventually, Lucy reached Ziva's hand, and licked Ziva's hand through the bars of the kennel.

"Well that is a surprise," Sadie said quietly. "Then again Lucy had always been a bit of a wild card."

Ziva started speaking in soft Hebrew to the dog.

"I think Ima likes her," Tali said, as she let go of Tony's hand, and walked toward Ziva. Ziva offered out her spare hand.

"Come here, Tali," Ziva said, "You need to be quiet, and careful, but I think Lucy would like to meet you."

Tali offered out one of her tiny hands, and the dog licked her hand.

"I think she likes you," Ziva said.

The two of them were head over heels with the dog.

"What do you mean by the dog being a wildcard?" Tony asked.

Sadie looked at the dog and sighed.

"Lucy is picky with who she lets in," Sadie said, as she adjusted the tablet under her arm. "She's had a tough life."

That sounded familiar. No wonder she and Ziva had bonded so quickly.

Tali laughed as Lucy licked her hand.

"I wasn't gonna introduce her to you guys," Sadie continued, "She can be funny with kids, but she seems to like Tali."

Ziva turned and looked at Tony, and nodded toward the cage.

Ziva was in love.

"And men," Sadie said, "It'll be interesting to see how she reacts to you."

Tony nodded.

"Why is she here?" Tony asked.

"Her owner died last winter," Sadie said, looking down at the ground. "It was a sudden death."

Tony read between the lines and felt a wave of sadness. Last year had been terrible for a lot of families.

"Lucy was living with her owner's roommate, but money was tight," Sadie continued. "The roommate said that she thinks that Lucy and her owner had been in a violent house before they moved in with her. Lucy never did well with loud noises. She has anti anxiety meds for storms. She hates storms."

"That's why she doesn't like men," Tony said. "Because of that first house."

"We think so," Sadie said. "She's really protective too, someone she didn't like was having a look at her neighbour and she wouldn't shut up. She must have been onto something because that guy had been blacklisted by another shelter."

Tali turned to look at them. She was wearing a huge smile.

"Daddy," she commanded, "Come say hi to Lucy."

Ziva pulled herself up, and stepped back. Lucy gave her a sad look.

The two of them were already bonded.

Tony and Sadie moved closer to the dog. Tony bent down in front of the cage, ignoring the twinge in his back, and offered his hand to Lucy.

Lucy stepped back a little, and looked to Tali and Ziva. Then she looked back to Tony.

Ziva moved toward Sadie.

Other dogs barked and howled.

"Is Lucy available for adoption?" Ziva asked.

Lucy placed her tongue on Tony's hand. Tony's hand was now wet with slobber.

She was saying hello.

"She likes you Daddy," Tali declared, as if she had not just met the dog.

"Yes," Sadie said to Ziva, "We just need to find the right family for her, she needs a quiet home."

Tony turned slightly, so one eye was on Lucy, and one eye was on Ziva.

Ziva nodded slowly, reading between the lines.

"We use our words when we are angry," Tali declared. "Shouting just makes everything worse."

The three adults shared a look. Out of the mouths of babes.

"Why don't we take Lucy out into the yard," Sadie offered, "So that you guys can get to know each other better. Maybe, you are the family Lucy has been waiting for."

Sadie handed the tablet to Ziva to hold onto, and reached into her pocket for a bunch of keys, and a dog leash. Within a couple of minutes, Lucy and the three humans were being led toward another door and out into the yard.

The yard was a square of fake grass, closed in by three meter high chain link fences. There was one metal bench in the center. The yard, like the kennels, reminded Tony of prisons.

Tony and Ziva sat on the bench, and watched as Tali played with the dog. Sadie was talking with another polo shirt wearing worker. Both of them seemed amazed by how quickly Lucy had taken to Tali and Ziva.

"So," Tony said, as he rested his hand on Ziva's lap. "What do we think about Lucy?"

Ziva looked at him, with her sunglasses over her eyes.

"She has been through a lot," Ziva said, softly "You can see that in her eyes."

A psychologist had told Tony once, that people who had been through some types of trauma could smell it out in other people.

Maybe it was the same with animals.

Tali threw a tennis ball across the grass, and Lucy ran after it. Lucy picked it up, and presented it to Tali.

"Good job, Lucy," Tali said, as she wrapped her arms around the dog. The dog stuck her tongue out, and wagged her tail.

Both Tali and Lucy looked so happy.

"She's good with Tali," Tony said, "Do you think she'll be okay with the McTwins?"

The McFamily were going to be across the street, they'd probably be over a lot. They needed to be considered.

Sadie had said that Lucy could be funny with kids.

"I think so," Ziva said. "Sadie said she can be a little standoffish with men, and doesn't like fireworks. I think she will cope with two three and a half year olds."

The McTwins were loud, louder than he remembered Tali being at that age. Maybe, it was because there were two of them, and one kid's noise bounced off the other.

With her eyes Ziva followed Tali and Lucy as they ran around the perimeter of the yard.

"You fell in love the minute you saw her, didn't you?" he asked.

"With Tali or the dog?" she asked.

"I know you did with Tali," he said, "And, it looks like us the same with Lucy."

Ziva smiled briefly. He could not see under her sunglasses, but was sure the smile covered her whole face.

"She is a lovely dog," Ziva said, "And, she has been through a lot. We could give her a lovely life."

They had a reasonably sized yard. Ziva had already promised to take the dog out for runs every day. Tali had also promised that Lucy could sleep in her bed, the minute Sadie had revealed that Lucy was scared of storms and did not like fireworks or storms.

Ziva had given the dog a soft stroke when Sadie had talked about Lucy needing anti-anxiety pills when there were storms.

"I think this is meant to be," Tony declared. "I'll go talk to Sadie to see what we need to do to make it official."

"Are you sure?" Ziva asked. "She is more reserved with you."

Lucy had licked his hand when she was in the cage, and Tony had thought she liked him. When they got into the yard, Lucy had been happy with Tali and Ziva, wagging her tail and jumping all over them. With Tony, she hung back, and looked to the girls for guidance.

"It's like you said," Tony said, "She's had a tough life. She just needs some time to get used to me. I'm sure once I feed her a few times, she'll be all over me."

Ziva smiled again.

"Tali already loves her," Ziva said.

"Of course she does," Tony replied. "She's wanted a dog forever."

In their first weeks in Paris, when their days often involved Tony taking Tali on long walks through their new home, they had walked behind a poodle for nearly ten minutes. The whole time Tali had kicked out her legs in the stroller, and cried out Kelev, Kelev.

Doggy. Doggy. Dog.

"She has always loved dogs," Ziva said, averting her eyes, like she so often did when she spoke of the time that Tony had not been with them.

"And, this one is named Lucy," Tony said, "Just like she said it would be."

Ziva scoffed.

"The name is from a book we were reading," Ziva said with a smile. "She is no clairvoyant."

Tony nodded.

Ziva and Tali had gotten into the habit of curling up together at night, with Ziva reading a book aloud to Tali. Often the book was a little more advanced than what Tali could read herself, but she loved the stories.

He knew Ziva liked the time together. She had said that her mother had done the same thing with her, often after her sister had gone to bed, and so it was the only time they got one on one.

"Well, I'm glad you were reading The Lion The Witch and The Wardrobe, and not something with weird names," Tony said, "Gandalf is no name for a dog."

"I am definitely not going to read the Lord of the Rings to her at this age," Ziva replied.

"McNerd has probably read it to the twins," Tony joked.

Ziva shook her head, but a slight smile dawned on her face.

"You know we were reading Ballet Shoes before this, so she could have insisted that we name the dog Posy or Petrova," Ziva said.

Tony grimaced.

"We dodged a bullet there," Tony said.

Tali and Lucy walked toward Tony and Ziva.

"Ima, Daddy," Tali called, "Can we please keep Lucy forever and ever. I promise I'll look after her."

Ziva offered her hand to Lucy, and the dog slobbered all over Ziva's hand. Ziva then used that hand to stroke the dog. Lucy's tail started to wag.

Tony looked into the dog's eyes, and then offered her his hand. The dog slobbered all his hand. Ziva moved her hand off the dog, and Tony used his hand to stroke the dog.

The dog stood frozen for a second, and started wagging her tail.

"I think she is warming up to you," Ziva said. "Before we know it, you will be her favourite."

Tony nodded. He hoped so.

"So, we're really gonna do this?" Tony asked Ziva, as Ziva took over patting the dog. Tali held onto Lucy's collar.

"We are," Ziva said,

Tony pulled himself up, and patted Tali's head.

She looked up at him with her own version of puppy dog eyes.

"I'm gonna go see what we need to do to take Lucy home," Tony announced.

Tali's face broke into a happy smile.

"Really?" she cried out.

The last time she had been this excited had been when Tony had said that Ziva was finally coming home.

For so long Ziva coming home had been her only wish. Now, she got to wish for normal things like getting a dog and going to Disneyland.

And, Tony got to grant these wishes. He felt like Santa Claus.

Twenty minutes later a photo went out to all of their favourite people. It was of Tony, Ziva, Tali and Lucy standing outside of the animal shelter, with the caption Our family has grown by four paws… meet Lucy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have never adopted a dog, so apologies if I got any of the adoption procedures wrong.
> 
> Thank you for all the kind comments, tweets, and reviews. Thank you for those lovely people on twitter who helped me decide what type of dog to give our favourite little family.
> 
> The next chapter will feature more of Tali.


	12. An Adventure With Ima

Tali looked around the parking lot, and across to the train station not too far away.

Ima had told her that this parking lot was called a Kiss and Bye, and then Daddy had said it was actually called a Kiss and Go.

Tali didn't remember the trains having Kiss and Go's in Paris. In Paris all the trains she remembered were under the ground. She liked the trains being on the ground better.

Not that it mattered because Ima wasn't kissing and going.

The car was stopped and Ima was talking to Daddy through the car window.

"Call me when you're done," Daddy said to Ima, "I'll pick you up."

Ima shook her head. Her curls bounced.

"We will get the metro," Ima said. "I do not want us to leave Lucy home for too long."

Lucy had only been with them for two days, and Tali already loved her as much as Ima and Daddy.

"She'll be okay," Daddy said. "I think she's probably enjoying the alone time, we've been all over her."

Lucy loved to be cuddled, and Tali loved cuddling Lucy. Lucy was supposed to sleep on the special dog bed Daddy had brought for her, but instead she slept on Tali's bed every night. It was a bit of a squeeze and Lucy made noise in her sleep, but Tali loved it.

"We need to get the train," Ima said, pointing to the platform. "I will call you when we are done."

Daddy's hand reached for Ima's arm.

"I can't wait to see what you choose," he said.

Tali and Ima were going on a special Ima and Tali adventure, but had not told Tali exactly what they were doing.

Tali hoped it was an exciting adventure.

"You will not see until the big day," Ima said, "It would be bad luck, and we do not need anymore bad luck."

Daddy laughed.

"Okay," he said. "I won't see your outfit, but I can see Tali's. That's not bad luck."

Ima shook her head.

"We really have to go," Ima said.

Ima stuck her head into the car, and kissed Daddy on the cheek.

"Tali," Ima said, "Come and say bye to Daddy."

Tali stood on her top toes and peaked into the driver's seat. Their car in America was bigger than the one they had in Paris.

Everything was bigger in America.

Ima lifted Tali up, and she gave Daddy an awkward hug.

"See ya later kiddo," Daddy said, as he gave her a kiss.

"Bye Daddy," Tali said. "Tell Lucy I'll be home soon."

Daddy laughed. Ima put Tali down on the ground.

"I will," Daddy said, before turning to Ima. "Call me later, I'll at least pick you two up from the station"

They could have walked to the station, but Daddy needed to run errands, which was the grown-up language for boring stuff. On Tuesdays, Daddy also took Pop-Pop on errands because Pop-Pop wasn't allowed to drive anymore.

Driving looked hard, and it often made Daddy say bad words. Daddy had told Tali that one day he would teach her to drive, but Tali wasn't so sure she wanted to do that. Couldn't she just ride her bike everywhere that was more fun.

In the back of the car, was their dining table from their old house. It was too small for their new house. So Mr Gibbs, who was Ima and Daddy's old friend had built them a new table.

Tali liked Mr Gibbs, he was nice, and told Tali lots of secrets about Ima and Daddy.

But, he had sadness underneath him.

Tali liked the new table. It had a bench she could kneel on when Pop-Pop came over with a puzzle. They had done a puzzle with a dog the night before they got Lucy, while the grown ups talked.

The grown ups had so much to talk about.

With the new table they had room for everyone to sit. For Pop-Pop to come to dinner every night, and for the twins to come over.

The twins would be in the house across the street from December. They would be able to come over all the time.

Tali really liked the twins, mostly because they were younger than her and usually did whatever she told them to do.

Ima grabbed Tali's hand.

"We need to walk very fast for the train," Ima said, as she started to walk.

Ima walked very fast, and Tali had to almost run to keep up.

The car started, and Daddy drove out of the parking lot.

They walked very fast onto a path, then through a tunnel, through the gate that Ima had to put her card on to open, and then up some steps. Ima's backpack bounced.

Just like in Paris, the train station smelt like pee and there was lots of rubbish.

Tali held onto her hat with her spare hand. Ima made them walk so fast.

They reached the platform, it was a middle platform, and Ima stood on the side that was going toward Glenmont.

Tali panted like Lucy did when it was too hot. They had moved so quickly to get to the train. Ima took her backpack from her back. It was such a boring backpack, not like Tali's pastel pink one with all the patches that Daddy had ironed on.

Ima took Tali's hat, and opened her backpack. The buckles clicked.

"We're on the wrong side," Tali declared.

Ima frowned and looked at the sign.

Tali and Pop-Pop came to this station for their adventures, because Pop-Pop's new house was only a little walk away. They would wait on the side that said to Shady Grove, and would ride only one stop to the town square.

That's where the splash pad was.

And, the ice cream place. They were so nice to her at the ice cream place.

That last time Tali and Pop-Pop had gone on their adventure was on the day that Ima wasn't there when she woke up.

Ima had always been there when Tali woke up. Ever since she came home to stay with them forever and ever.

Daddy had said Ima had gone for a run, but he had looked so sad. His hair had been spiky on his head, and he whispered to Pop-Pop when he called him. He had dark rings around his eyes, which meant he did not sleep well.

Then Pop-Pop had come over, and Tali had gotten to have the first ice cream of the day at the shop. But, it hadn't tasted as good because Tali was worried about Ima.

"No," Ima said, "We are on the right side."

Ima lifted up the flap on her backpack, and pulled on the rope to open it. She stuffed Tali's hat into the bag.

"Where we need to go is on this side," Ima said, as she pulled out Tali's water bottle. "It is hot out here, would you like some water?"

Tali nodded, and took her water bottle. The water was still cold. Tali drank it so fast it dribbled on her chin.

In the distance bells started ringing, and on the platform people started getting up from their seats.

There were only a few people on the platform. Things were quieter here compared to Paris.

Tali handed her Ima her water bottle. Tali only had her little rainbow bag with her, and there was not enough room in her bag for her bottle.

Ima put the water bottle in the bag, and pulled on the rope. She clipped the buckles, and put the bag on her shoulder.

The train beeped its horn.

Then it woodshed past. Hot air blew past.

Ima took Tali's hand, and squeezed it tight.

The train stopped, and people stepped out. Ima led Tali to the front of the platform, and Tali did the big step and got into the train.

It was suddenly very cold on the train. Like being inside a freezer.

Ima tugged on Tali's hand and led her to some seats. Tali slid in first so she could be close to the window. Ima sat down next to her.

Tali liked being so close to Ima.

"We need to be close to the door," Ima said, as she put her backpack on her knees. "We are only going four stops."

When Tali and Pop-Pop got the train, only one stop, Tali wouldn't even sit down. Pop-Pop would sit on the special seats right by the door, and Tali would hold onto the rail.

"Where are we going?" Tali asked.

The train started to move again.

Ima pulled out her phone and showed Tali the maps app. There were four names and a dot moved between them.

"We are going to Bethesda," Ima said. "Why don't you follow the stations and make sure we get off at the right one."

Across the carriage a baby babbled, and kicked out its legs. It was in one of the carriers that meant it faced out.

Ima waved at the baby.

The baby babbled louder.

"Did I have one of them when I was a baby?" Tali asked.

Ima lifted her sunglasses off her face, and hung them off her t-shirt.

"You did," Ima said, with a smile. "We used to go on these long walks together. We lived near an olive grove then, and both of us really liked those walks."

Ima looked passed Tali, and out of the window.

The train started to slow down. The woman and the baby got up and walked to the door.

"Can we go back there?" Tali asked, "One day."

Ima frowned for just a second.

"Maybe," she said softly, "It was in Israel, which is very far away. It would be a very long flight."

It had been a very long flight to go from Paris to DC, but Tali had done okay. Daddy had let her have unlimited screen time which had helped.

Tali nodded. The train stopped, and the doors opened. The woman and the baby stepped out.

"Where are we now?" Ima asked.

Tali looked at the sign on the platform and then she looked down at Ima's phone.

"White Flint," Tali declared. The words felt funny in her mouth, because they were new.

The train started moving again.

"When Daddy starts his new job he's going to get this train everyday," Ima said.

Tali looked out the window. They passed a billboard and some buildings.

"Really?" she asked.

She was still getting used to the idea that her Daddy was going to have a job like all the other Daddy's. He had not had a job when it had just been Tali and Daddy, but now that Ima was back Daddy could get a job.

Ima wasn't going to get a job. She said her job was to be the best Ima she could be.

She already was the best Ima in the whole world.

"Yes," Ima said, "But, he is going to go a little further, closer to the city."

The train slowed again.

Tali looked down at Ima's phone, the black dot had moved again. This new station had a long name.

"This one is Gro-ves-," Tali started, but the name was too long to sound out.

"Grosvenor-Strathmore," Ima said easily, "There is supposed to be a music centre around here."

Ima liked music. She went to the opera every year for her sister Tali who wanted to be an opera singer. The sister Tali was named after.

"Could we go there one day?" Tali asked.

The train stopped and some people got on.

Ima smiled.

"Yes," she said, "Maybe we could go during the holidays. I am sure there will be something you would like."

The holidays, Christmas and Hanukkah felt so far away. Tali would be at her new school then. The twins would be across the street there, with their Grandma Judy.

Tali liked Judy, Judy was always nice to Tali. Last time Tali had seen Morgan they had agreed that they would share Grandparents, because Tali did not have any Grandma and the twins did not have any Grandpa's.

The train started moving again.

"We are going to go underground soon," Ima said.

"Like Paris?" Tali asked.

"Yes," Ima said, as it suddenly went dark on the outside. "A little like Paris. Do you still miss Paris, Tali?"

Tali shook her head, but also felt a pain in her stomach.

"A little," she admitted, "But in Paris we wouldn't have Lucy, and Poo-Pop would be all alone."

Ima nodded.

"Yes," Ima said. "It was hard for your Daddy and I to be so far away from Pop-Pop and everyone else."

"When I'm big I'm not moving out," Tali announced. "So, I don't have to miss you and Daddy."

Ima laughed.

"I think you will see things differently when you are an adult," Ima said. "You will want your own space."

"I'll stay in the house with my friends," Tali announced, "And, you and Daddy can live where Pop-Pop lives."

Ima laughed again. Tali loved how Ima laughed. It was like music.

"We will see," Ima said.

"Ima," Tali said softly, "Can I ask you a question?"

"Of course," Ima replied.

"Are you still sad?" Tali asked.

Ima looked away from Tali and down at her backpack. She hugged the backpack close to her chest.

"It is not that I was sad," Ima finally said, "It is more like my brain is sick, and I need some time to feel better."

Tali frowned.

"Like when Pop-Pop fell over," Tali said.

And, Daddy paced around the apartment late at night, asking questions down the phone.

Daddy talked about going to see Pop-Pop, even though he shouldn't have been flying because of the germs in the air.

In the end he didn't go, because Pop-Pop got better.

"Yes," Ima said, "But, it is inside my head, for some people it is harder to see."

"Are you going to have to go to hospital?" Tali asked.

Pop-Pop was in hospital for nearly a whole week when he fell over.

Ima shook her head.

"No," Ima said, "But, I am going to go to the doctor every week like I did when we were in Paris."

Tali remembered Daddy putting on movies during the lockdown when Ima had to talk to her doctor. Sometimes Ima cried and Tali could hear it over the movie.

"Are you going to talk to the same doctor?" Tali asked. "On the computer."

Ima shook her head.

The train stopped, and the doors opened, but Tali did not check Ima's phone.

"No," Ima said. "It would be too hard with the time difference. I have a new doctor. She is very good. She talked to my old doctor, and they talked about the best way to help me."

The train started moving again, and people started getting up.

Ima moved her leg slightly, and shuffled along the seat.

"This is our stop," Ima said, as she stood up.

Tali handed Ima her phone, and stood up. Ima took Tali's hand, and smiled down at Tali.

Ima was so beautiful.

The train started to slow, and Tali felt that twist in her tummy.

What if Ima was sad because of her?

"Do I make you sad?" Tali asked.

Ima's mouth dropped open, and then she looked up toward the ceiling.

The train stopped.

The train was so loud with the announcement and all the people getting on and off. Ima pulled Tali's arm, and they rushed off the train.

All the other people moved to the escalator, but Ima walked toward the center of the platform, and crouched down. She put her hands on Tali's shoulders.

The train sped off, and the station was suddenly quiet.

"Why would you ask that Tali?" Ima asked.

"Sometimes I don't want to go to sleep, sometimes I let you or Daddy give me a treat when Pop-Pop has already given me a treat," Tali said, all the words coming out before she could stop them, "Sometimes I am loud when you tell me to be quiet. I'm a bad kid."

Ima shook her head.

"You are not a bad kid," Ima said, "You are a really amazing child. Yes, you do some bad things sometimes, but you own up to that."

"So, I don't make you sad?" Tali asked, as she looked down at her feet.

Ima put her hand under Tali's chin, asking her to look up.

"You make me so happy," Ima said.

"When I draw pictures?" Tali asked. "Or, when I dance?"

Ima liked ballet. Ima had done ballet when she was young. Sometimes Tali and Ima did the ballet steps together.

"Yes," Ima said with a smile, "But, also when we snuggle together, and when you smile. I love seeing you smile."

Tali stretched her cheeks and gave Ima her best and brightest smile.

Ima bopped Tali's nose, and smiled.

"What a lovely smile you have," Ima said, before looking toward the platform, "Tali, what is going on in my head is nobody's fault. I am doing things to make myself better, please do not think you caused this."

Tali nodded.

"Okay," Tali said. "I have a question?"

Ima sprung up so that she was full height.

People came down the escalator and the platform was busy again.

"Okay," Ima said, as she took Tali's hand.

"Does Daddy make you happy?" Tali asked.

A train arrived at the platform. It was heading in the direction of home.

It was so loud. Ima started walking toward the escalator.

Tali hesitated at the bottom of the escalator. They were a little scary, but then got on. Ima pushed Tali to the side.

A man ran up the right side of the escalator. It reminded Tali of that time Daddy had taken her to London to meet his friend Abby who wore pigtails even though she was a grown up. The trains in London had been so busy, and people were so grumpy.

"Yes," Ima said, as it started to get lighter, and quieter. "But, he makes me happy in a different way to the way you make me happy."

They reached the top of the escalator, and Ima held Tali's hand as she jumped off.

Ima reached into her pocket and pulled out their cards.

"What about Lucy?" Tali asked, as they walked to the gate that opened with their cards, "Does she make you happy?"

Ima took Tali's hand, and they walked out toward a concrete square with concrete benches.

"Lucy makes me very happy," Ima said.

"Daddy says you understand her," Tali said.

"I suppose I do," Ima said.

Ima pulled out her phone, and looked around the square. All the buildings were so tall and looked the same.

"This way," Ima said, as they walked past some shops.

"Where are we going?" Tali asked.

"To a shop," Ima said, "We have an appointment."

Tali stopped walking right there.

Ever since they had come to America they had done so much shopping.

There had been house shopping. Ima had dragged them around all those furniture stores to buy a new table, only for Mr Gibbs to make the table for them. There had been that terrible visit to the Sweedish store, where Daddy got lost, and they got to eat meatballs in the big cafeteria.

Then there had been back-to-school shopping, in the big store with the red dot, where Daddy had also got something for the car in the same store.

Tali was not going to spend her last week before school shopping. The shopping could wait.

"No more shopping," Tali said. "It's boring."

"I think you will like this shopping," Ima said, "And, the quicker we do this, the sooner we can get the train home and you can see Lucy."

Tali sighed.

She would tell Lucy all about how Ima trapped her into this shopping trip.

Lucy probably hated shopping too.

Tali started walking again, and they turned a corner onto a street with lots of shops. There were those tall poles, which Daddy said were called bollards, that meant the cars had to stay away.

Tali liked that. There were so many cars in America, and they went really fast.

"Maybe we can get a snack before we go home," Ima said.

Ima was trying to make this better.

"Or, we could go there," Ima said as she pointed to a pet store, "To get a treat for Lucy."

Ima was making this better.

They crossed the street, passing people who were sitting under trees, and a man who was doing tricks on his skateboard.

They stopped in front of a door that was open to a set of stairs.

Tali looked at the sign, and frowned.

Bridal and formal wear. Rentals and alterations.

She had no idea what all these words meant.

"I really do think you will like this," Ima said, as she pointed to the stairs.

Tali scrambled up the stairs, and when she reached the top of the stairs she saw that the shop was the ultimate dress up box.

There were poofy white dresses in mannequins, next to brightly coloured gowns.

This must be where the princess dresses came from.

"Wow," Tali said.

"I thought you would like it," Ima said.

Ima was right.

"Are we picking your wedding dress?" Tali asked.

Ima and Daddy were finally getting married in a few weeks, and sometimes it felt like they had forgotten. They were so relaxed.

"I have already picked my dress," Ima said, as she walked toward the counter. "We are here to pick your dress, and check on the alterations to my dress."

Tali looked around the shop, there were so many dresses in so many different colours.

Would her dress by blue like Elsa's?

Or purple like Anna's?

Some of the dresses had sparkles. Tali loved sparkles.

"When did you pick your dress?" Tali asked.

"A few weeks ago," Ima said, "I wanted to wait before we got yours, you have grown so much this summer."

Tali's favourite sandals, the yellow ones that had fit a few weeks ago, were too small now. Ima had given them away to another little girl who needed shoes.

Ima pressed a bell on the counter.

"Who came with you?" Tali asked, "When you picked your dress?"

In the movies, the bride always had lots of people around when she picked her dress.

"I came by myself," Ima said.

Ima did too many things by herself.

The curtains behind the counter moved, and a lady with curly hair, and a tape measure around her neck appeared.

"Hello Ziva," the lady said, she had an accent that made the words sound like a song, "I see you have bought your Tali with you."

When Ima had visited before she had picked some dresses she thought Tali might like. Tali was glad for this, because there were so many dresses in the store that Tali would never have been able to narrow them down.

A lady had given them orange juice in special glasses.

The changing room was so big, with heavy curtains.

"Do I have to pick?" Tali asked, as she looked at the three dresses. "They are all so pretty."

Ima took a sip of her orange juice, and ran her hand down the ice blue dress Tali had just taken off.

The blue dress had been too long, with Tali standing on it, but Ima said they could fix that.

"Just one Tali," Ima said, "I do not think you will get to be a flower girl again."

Ima was right about that. Morgan and Johnny's parents were already married, apparently most Ima's and Daddys got married before they had babies, and Tali did not know any other adults who had partners.

Maybe one day Pio-Pop would get married, but Tali was not sure if really old people could get married.

"But one day," Ima said softly, "You might want to have a Bat Mitzvah, and then you would get a nice dress."

"When would I have one of those?" Tali asked.

"When you are twelve," Ima said.

Twelve felt so far away. She had only just turned seven.

"It is a very important ceremony," Ima said. "It would be your coming of age."

Tali looked at the dress she was wearing. It was a dark red colour, but so itchy.

She pulled at the dress.

"Shall we try the other one?" Ima asked.

Tali nodded.

"Careful," Ima said, "This one is delicate."

Delicate, Tali did not know that word.

"What does that mean?" Tali asked.

"Fragile," Ima said.

Tali recognised that word from the boxes they had used to pack up their apartment in Paris.

"It can break easily," Ima said, "So we have to be careful."

Ima pulled down the zip of the dress, and pulled it over Tali's head. Tali breathed a sigh of relief as she was liberated from the itchy material.

The third dress was pulled over Tali's head, and it didn't itch.

Ima pulled up the zip on the back and Tali looked at herself in the mirror.

This dress had sparkles on the top, and material that was like a tutu on the bottom. Tali liked the sparkles.

Tali saw Ima smile through the mirror.

"Yes," Ima said, "I think this is the one. It will work well with my dress."

Tali liked the idea of looking like Ima.

Tali did a twirl in her dress, and watched as the fabric fell.

She loved this dress.

"Can I see your dress now?" Tali asked.

Ima's dress had been hung in the changing room next door, by the lady with the tape measure around her neck.

"We should get this off you first," Ima said.

"I want to see us in our dresses together," Tali said.

Ima looked down at Tali, and then at the changing room next door.

"Okay," Ima said, "But, you need to be careful in the dress. It is special."

Tali nodded. She sat down on the big tufted bench, and looked down at her feet. The bench was so big, so Tali's feet did not touch the ground.

Maybe she could get gold shoes to match her dress.

Ima disappeared behind the heavy curtain, and Tali listened as Ima got dressed.

She heard the rip of the Velcro of Ima's sandals, and the unzipping of Ima's pants.

Ima didn't wear dresses or skirts very often. She had one skirt that she sometimes wore when it was really hot, and her blue special occasion dress, but there were not many special occasions.

Then there was the shuffling of the crinkly material that covered the dress.

"Oh," Ima said.

The lady with the measuring tape appeared from around the corner.

"How is everything Ziva?" the lady asked.

It was so weird to hear somebody use Ima's real name.

"It is perfect," Ima said, "You did an amazing job Salma."

"Let me see my handiwork then," the lady said.

Ima pulled back the heavy curtain and stepped out.

Tali felt her mouth drop. She placed her hands under her chin to stop her jaw from falling out.

The lady with the measuring tape smiled and stepped forward.

"It was worth the extra expense, no?" the lady said.

Ima ran her hands down the dress and smiled.

"Yes," Ima said.

Tali stepped a little closer and took in the dress.

It went all the way to the ground, but was not as poofy as Tali's. It had lace on the shoulders, to make little sleeves. The lace was on the top of the dress with a V-neck. The lace had specks of gold just like the sequins in Tali's dress.

"What do you think, Tali?" Ima asked.

"You look like a Princess," Tali said, before looking down at her own dress. She looked like a Princess. "No, I'm a Princess and you are a Queen."

Ima laughed, and held out her arms.

"Shall we ask Salma to take a photo?" Ima asked.

The lady with the measuring tape, put her hands together and smiled.

"What a pretty picture you two make," the lady with the measuring tape said.

They did not leave the store with the dresses, because Ima wanted her dress to be shortened just a little because the wedding was going to be outside, and because she didn't want to carry the dresses on the train.

Tali would come home from school one day, and find the two dresses hanging in the empty closet in the empty room. Tali was under strict instructions that Daddy was not to see Ima's dress until the wedding.

They did leave the store with something for Lucy, a bandana that said 'flower dog'.

Tali held the bandana in a paper bag, and they walked toward the metro station hand in hand.

"This was a really fun adventure," Tali said, as they went down the escalator, and to the train to head home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know that kid point of view fics are love it or hate it type things, so if this chapter wasn't your bag fear not we'll go back to an adult point of view on the next one. The next one should be up next weekend.
> 
> Yes, I'm making Tali a baby urbanist, and have put the David-DiNozzo house on DC's red metro line.
> 
> Thank you for all your kind words in whatever form; tweets, reviews or comments.
> 
> Finally, happy new year dearest readers.


	13. The Luckiest Man In The World

Tony walked through the gate of the metro station, and slid his metrocard into his pocket. It was the first full week of September, and Tony found himself rolling up his shirtsleeves when outside, while also taking a jacket with him when he left home each morning, because the mornings had a chill on them of late.

His backpack bounced on his back, Tony was too cool to use both straps, and he walked out of the station, feeling good that he had walked to and from the station every day since starting work.

It had only been two days, but Tony still metaphorically patted himself on the back. The minute it got cold, Tony knew that they would finally get a second car, and he would drive less than a mile just to park his car and get on the train.

Tony cut through the car park, weaving through the cars that were set to be parked for many more hours, because their owners had much more demanding jobs.

He reached the grass verge and moved onto the sidewalk. The sidewalk was busy with the afternoon rush. One little girl was wearing a tutu and scooting down the street, while her caregiver pushed a stroller down the street, and tried to keep a dog under control.

Tony watched as the dog pushed ahead, and wondered if Ziva and Tali had already taken Lucy for a walk. During that last hazy week of summer between getting Lucy and Tali starting at her new school, the family had gotten into the habit of taking Lucy for her afternoon walk all together.

He liked the idea of it becoming part of their daily routine, at least until the weather changed. He liked the idea of holding Ziva's hand and asking her about her day, as Tali ran ahead with Lucy.

He turned the corner onto their quiet street, and watched as one of their older neighbours walked down the street pulling along her shopping trolley. A pair of young men, perhaps high school students, ran past Tony with sweat stains on their t-shirts, and then stopped to talk to the lady. The older lady wrapped her arms around the boys and the three of them chatted.

Tony caught sight of his little house, and felt a smile move across his face. After a long day, and a boring commute, he was coming home.

In a few moments, Tali would wrap her arms around him and give him a play by play of her school day, and Tony would listen with open ears, while trying to keep Tali's new friends straight.

Was Sarah the one who liked rainbows like Tali did? Or was that Maya.

All the fears that he and Ziva had carried through the summer had been unfounded when Tali started at the new school. Between Labor Day and Rosh Hasanah Tali was only starting her second week, but she already had playdates organised and many new friends.

With Tony's new job, Ziva had suddenly been forced to take on the role of Tali's social secretary solo.

Tony stopped directly opposite his house, and like George Bailey tried to peer in. Through the gauzy privacy curtains Ziva had brought, he could only see the outlines of his family. Lucy was on the armchair looking bored, Tali was skidding between the dining area and living room, and he caught sight of Ziva moving between the kitchen and the dining room.

You're a lucky man, DiNozzo, he thought to himself.

So damn lucky.

He turned back from his family for just a moment, to take a photo of the McHouse, which was currently undergoing a renovation in preparation for the McFamily to move in.

A renovation that, like so many, was going over budget and over time. Tim had asked Tony to take a photo of the progress.

He sent off the photo to Tim, as promised, and suggested that maybe the family would move in time for Easter.

Tim's only response was an angry emoji.

Then he crossed the road, picking his keys from his pocket, and feeling the bounce in his step.

He was going home, to his family. The last time he had a job he usually went home alone to an empty apartment. Even if someone did come over, it was never for long.

Lucy jumped off her place on the armchair before Tony had even put his key in the door.

"Daddy," Tali's voice carried through the door. "Daddy's home."

Tony opened the door, and Lucy bobbed up next to him. She got up two legs and jumped on him. Tali came and wrapped her arms around him.

They had only been in each other's lives for a couple of weeks, and Lucy had not been so sure about him, but now they were fast friends. Lucy loved cuddling up with Tony when they watched movies.

"Easy girl," Tony said, as he stroked her down. "Why don't you hang with Tali while I take my shoes off."

Tali stepped back and took Lucy's collar to direct her. They moved but not too far, they took their place near the shoe rack they had brought the other week after Tony had nearly fallen over Tali's sandals, when he sleepily made his way down the stairs to start breakfast. Despite their best intentions, they were not the type of family who took shoes upstairs every night.

Tony hung his keys on the designated hook, on top of his backpack. Next to Tali's bright pink backpack.

"How was your day, Small Fry?" he asked, as he opened the coat closet and hung up the jacket he had not needed.

He looked down at the floor of the closet, his weekend job was to somehow get the shoe rack into the closet.

"Good," Tali said. "We did crafts, and Maya wants me to come to her house."

Tony opened his backpack and rooted around for his reusable coffee cup, and lunchbox.

Then Ziva appeared, a tea towel over her shoulder, and a comforting hand on Lucy.

"She has been invited to two birthday parties," Ziva said, "On the same day."

Tony stepped forward, and placed a kiss on Ziva's cheek.

He could swear black and blue that she still tasted like salt water, even though their all too brief visit to the sea had been the weekend before Tali started school.

She wrapped her arms around his waist, and he stood awkwardly holding his lunch box. The leftovers Ziva had packed for him had been eaten up.

"Hi," she said softly.

"Hi," he said.

For just a moment it was only her. No kid. No dog. No dinner in the oven. No lunchbox in his hands .Just him and her.

Then the dog farted. A potent fart that caused all the humans to cough.

"Eww," Tali cried out.

Ziva's face scrunched up.

"Well Lucy," Tony said, "You certainly know how to clear a room."

Ziva turned on her feet, and walked toward the kitchen laughing to herself.

Tali looked up the stairs.

"Why don't you go wash up?" he suggested. "Then you can show me what you did at school."

Tali looked back at the dog, and then up the stairs.

"Come on Lucy," she commanded, as Lucy followed behind.

Tony walked into the living room, and through to the kitchen. He dumped his lunchbox and cup on the counter. The dishwasher hummed. On one of the dining room chairs there was a basket of clean washing.

"Do you think it's something she is eating?" he asked, "Do we need to change her food?"

Ziva appeared from behind the fridge door with some tomatoes, and closed the door.

"I think Tali might have shared her after school snack with Lucy," Ziva announced, "And it seems that Lucy's tummy does not do so well with cream cheese and carrots."

Tony felt a laugh ripple through him. Ziva joined him.

"Well at least Tali isn't trying to eat the dogs food," Tony said.

Ziva moved around the island, so that they were standing in front of each other. This time Tony placed his hands on her hips, and she wrapped her arms around his neck.

For just a moment it would be quiet. For just a moment it would be just them.

"How was your day?" they both said at once.

He felt a smile dawn over his face, and took in her dark eyes.

You're so damn lucky, DiNozzo.

"You first," she said.

"It was good," he said. "I really think that it is the place for me."

Tony had sat opposite a man who had been a cop for Metro P.D, but now had a bullet in his knee and wasn't made for desk work. The two of them had shared stories of their craziest cases, and found that they had a few cases in common.

DC could be such a small town sometimes.

Tony and the retired cop had talked about different career avenues, and in the end the former cop had expressed interest in joining a coding course.

As Tony handed over his contact details, and made arrangements to check in with the guy, the younger man had admitted that he had been struggling with his injury but talking with Tony had given him hope. His life wasn't over yet.

Tony was doing good in the world.

"So, there was less admin than yesterday?" Ziva asked.

"Yep," Tony said. "I actually got to talk to some clients today."

Ziva smiled. A full bloom of a smile.

"I mentioned to Darryl that we celebrated Rosh Hashanah yesterday, and he asked me if I wanted Yom Kippur off," Tony said. "Jamie's wife celebrates Diwali, so he always takes that off. So, it would only be fair that I get to take off my wife's holidays."

He would get Yom Kippur off, but would have to work the week after Christmas, as the non profit saw an increase in walk-ins, after Christmas jobs ended and other people decided they wanted to make changes in their lives.

It was a fair trade.

Tony had worked nearly every Christmas, when he was a cop, and could remember the stress that the season brought.

"It is not your holiday," Ziva said. "You do not have to do that."

"I know," he replied, "But it is yours, and Tali will be off school. I know Yom Kippur is a big deal, if I'm home you can go to services, if you want too. I can look after Tali"

Ziva squirmed.

In Paris she had talked about going to services again, not every week, but when she wanted to. But between the lockdowns, and some anti-Semitic graffiti, she had backed out. She did not know a congregation well enough to slip into zoom services.

But, here it would be different. She could go back to a synagogue she had been before.

"Maybe," Ziva said. "If you can get the time off it would be nice to have you here."

Tony nodded.

"I'll talk to Darryl tomorrow," Tony said. "You know I don't really remember you going to services when we both worked at NCIS."

Ziva looked away from him.

She had been more quiet about her faith when they all worked together. Hanukkah would get a mention merely because of its proximity to Christmas, and once she brought cookies into work for Purim, but other than that she kept her religious life private.

"There was always a bad guy to catch," she said, "And, I know it is a cliche but since having Tali I feel more pulled to some of the traditions and things I grew up with. Seeing things through her eyes has renewed things for me."

Tony nodded.

He too found himself reaching and reconfiguring traditions now that they had Tali. Christmas was a big deal now. There were so many movies that he had seen again for the first time through Tali's eyes.

"Do they think I am your wife?" she asked. "At your job."

Tony still had a bare finger, but only for another two weeks.

"Yeah," he said. "I didn't see the point in correcting them. In two weeks it'll be moot."

Ziva looked at him, and a smile crossed her face.

"It will," she purred.

"I figure we're too enmeshed for you to pull a runaway bride," he said.

Tony had already had a runaway bride, but things had worked out in the end.

He knew himself now, he knew that at the first whiff of trouble with Wendy, the first hard day, he would have been looking for an exit strategy.

With Ziva, he took her hand, even when she tried to push him away, and they faced the waves together.

"The wedding is a formality, yes?" she said. "No, not just a formality, but a celebration, of how far we have come."

And, boy did they deserve a celebration.

They had finally gotten to this point.

Finally.

"It's gonna be a great party," he said.

His arms ached from holding her, but he wouldn't let go.

"Speaking of parties, Talis has been invited to two, right?" he asked. "On the same day."

"Not just any day," Ziva said, "A very special day."

Tony felt a laugh roll through him.

"Well aren't we just the worst parents for daring to get married one on of the bigger days on our daughter's social calendar," he said, as they started to separate.

Ziva smiled.

"Thankfully," she said delicately, "She understands her prior commitment. I said we could organise some play dates next month."

Ziva stepped back, and took her space behind the kitchen counter, and started to chop vegetables.

"We have also been invited to an interfaith families play date," Ziva reported. "It is on the second Sunday of October.."

Tali's Jewish school, chosen for its small class sizes and proximity to the house, had a surprising number of interfaith families, who were connected on social media.

"I'd like to go to that," he said.

Ziva chopped the tomatoes in half, and put them in the salad.

"Well look at us being all suburban," Tony said.

"It is good, no?" she said, as she placed a cucumber on the chopping board and started chopping.

Her knife work had always been impressive.

"Yeah," he said. "It is."

They would be the type of people who took leftovers for lunch, and went to play dates in the neighbourhood.

So normal.

"So, how was your day?" he asked. "It was the first day that you were home alone."

Ziva's chopping got faster.

"I am not Lucy," she said, her eyes on the chopping board, "I can be home alone."

"You know what I mean," he said.

Tali was settled into school now, and he had his job.

And, Ziva had the house, and empty days.

"In fact I am quite good at being by myself," she continued. She was not angry, but baiting him. "I score high on introversion."

He wondered when she had done a personality test, was it part of her father's training, or something she did for therapy.

"But, yes it was strange," she said, giving him something, "The house was very quiet when I came home."

That was something he had found weird when he dropped Tali off at nursery for the first time. For someone so little she made a lot of noise.

"But, I actually was not home that much today," Ziva said, as she put the cucumber in the salad.

It was Wednesday, which was therapy day.

"How was your session?" he asked.

"Good," she said, "I am glad I decided to go back."

It had only been a few weeks since her mental health had reached a crisis point, after sleep broken by terror, and a panic that lingered, Ziva had decided to make changes.

She took a higher dose of her anti-anxiety medication, was back in weekly therapy, and had a list of goals tapped on her closet door.

Tony liked to think that he helped too. That he was her safe place to land.

He knew Lucy definitely helped, Lucy was someone to take on those brutal early morning runs. Lucy tended to sniff out if her humans were unhappy and demand snuggles.

The dog could not be refused.

"We talked about the beach trip we took," Ziva said. "I really enjoyed that trip."

The trip had been taken the weekend before Tali started school. The beach house, despite being miles from the beach had cost an arm and a leg, because of how late Tony had booked.

Every dollar had been worth it, when he saw how Ziva relaxed when she took her first whiff of sea air.

Tali had loved it too, racing into the ocean as soon as she was allowed, with Lucy following behind her. Lucy had loved the water too.

He knew the memories of that beach trip would sustain him during a cold winter and frustrating metro delays.

"It was a good trip," he said.

He would always remember Tali's giggle, when Lucy shook herself dry. He would remember standing on the deck with Ziva, after Tali went to bed, the two of them huddled together, and the way it all felt so right. He would remember watching Ziva and Tali play in the water.

"We could do it again," he said, "It wasn't that bad a drive we could probably do it in a day. Then when it gets cold we can keep driving south until it's warm enough."

Ziva smiled a full beam of a smile.

It had been a good summer, who could blame Tony for wanting to drag it out for as long as he could.

His legs were still getting used to wearing long pants again after wearing shorts every day for three months straight.

"If we do it all the time it will not be special," she reminded him, "But, I would like us to travel more."

He and Ziva were staying at a local winery for a sort of honeymoon the weekend after the wedding, but that was only an hour away from home and Tali.

"We could do that," he said. "Leave it to me."

He had Tali's school breaks on his calendar, and thirty minutes each way on the metro to kill. He could plan amazing trips for his girls.

They could go North to the ski fields. Ziva liked skiing, and his Dad would happily look after Lucy for the weekend. Tali was big enough to learn how to ski now.

Or they could pack up the car, and drive through the night to go south, eventually finding somewhere warm enough.

There were all the cities they could visit. He knew Ziva would like the history of Boston, and Tali wanted to go to New York.

"I would like that," she said, wiping her hands on a dish towel.

She stepped around the kitchen island.

"I wanted to show you something," Ziva said, pulling her phone from her pocket.

He watched as unlocked her phone, and he caught just a glimpse of her phone screen. Tali in a sun hat, sunglasses and wearing a big smile.

She opened her email application and an email.

Then she thrust her phone in his face.

"Dear Ziva David," he read. "Thank you for your application to Montgomery College. This will be reviewed by our enrollment team, and we will be in touch to discuss the start of your education journey at Montgomery college."

Tony handed her phone back to her, and looked at her with a huge smile.

"You did it," he whispered.

The application had been started the week before, but Ziva had been holding back on pulling the trigger. She had not been ready.

"Yes," Ziva said, "It was time. I want this, I am going to fight for this."

He placed a kiss on her forehead.

"I am proud of you," he said.

"It is community college," she said, "They pretty much have to take me."

"Maybe," he said, "But, this is just the start. If you find something you like you can get some credits and transfer to a four year school. We're pretty close to the University of Maryland, and if they ever finish the purple line you won't even have to drive. Who knows you might even go onto a masters."

"You have really thought about this," Ziva said.

"Well I did like dating co-Ed's," he joked.

Ziva smirked.

"You will be married to one by the time I start," Ziva declared. "I may take a couple of the intense classes to get started, but I would start properly after the winter holidays."

He had read the college website inside and out, and knew some of the classes were offered as online block classes over a period of weeks rather than over a semester.

"Are you excited?" he asked.

She had wanted this for so long.

"A little scared," she admitted, "It has been such a long time since I have been in a classroom, but yes I am excited."

"You're gonna be amazing," he declared. "They aren't gonna know what hit them."

She shook her head.

"It is like you said, a start," Ziva said, "And, it is not the only new start I am making."

"What else have you been doing today?" he asked.

"I have signed up for a volunteer job," she announced. "It is just a few hours a week, but it will get me out of the house."

"What will you be doing?" he asked.

"There is a English as a second language conversation group at the library," she reported, "I am going to assist with it, be one of the facilitators."

"So you're gonna teach all these poor people your bad habits," he declared. "There are gonna be a bunch of people calling porcupines, porcu-swines."

She smiled at the memory. One of their first together.

"My English is actually very good," she replied, "And, much better than your French."

The passable French he had developed during those years in Paris was slipping away from him bit by bit. He and Ziva had talked about maybe going to Paris for the Olympics, and Tony knew that without practice, his French would be non existent by then.

"So teaching," he said, "Do you think that's something you might want to do?"

Ziva shrugged.

"Not children," she said. "I do not have the patience for that."

He would disagree with her on that. She could be so patient with Tali, but it was so different when it was your own.

"What about adults?" he asked. "English as a second language and things like that."

Ziva gave him a non-commital shrug.

"Maybe," she said. "I am not pursuing a particular career path, I want to see what happens after I start classes."

A whole new world had opened up for her, she would be silly to pick a path without knowing all the different journeys she could take.

"It's exciting," he said. "Who knows what you'll be doing in five years."

There was a crash from upstairs and both parents' eyes darted to the ceiling.

"Lucy no!" Tali cried out, her voice carrying down the stairs.

"I better investigate that," he declared.

"Daddy," Tali called down the stairs. "Ima."

"Coming," Tony said, as he moved toward the stairs.

He then stopped and turned back to Ziva. No one was crying so Tony could be spared for a few more seconds.

"Has Lucy been for her afternoon walk yet?" he asked.

"She and Tali threw a ball around in the yard," Ziva said, "But, no walk."

"Maybe we can all take her for a walk after dinner," he said. "I liked when we did that last week."

Ziva smiled.

"I would like that too," she replied.

"Maybe we could make it a routine," he said, "At least until it gets too cold. Nothing too strenuous, just a little walk around the block. All of us together."

Tali could take her scooter and rush ahead. He and Ziva could walk hand in hand, with his other hand on Lucy's leash. If they made good time, they might be able to stop in the park for a little bit, to soak in the last dregs of summer.

"Look at us being all suburban," Ziva declared using his words.

Tali appeared on the stairs. Her face red, and an urgent energy radiating off her. Seven year olds did not carry stress well.

"Daddy," Tali said. "Lucy made a mess."

Tony followed Tali up the stairs and toward the main bathroom where Lucy was.

You're so lucky DiNozzo, he thought to himself.

So damn lucky.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic originally was planned to be fourteen chapters, and then that blew out to sixteen chapters, and now it is back fourteen chapters. That makes this chapter the second to last one.
> 
> Pacing is always something I struggle with in longer fics, especially when there was such a short time frame covered in the fic. One day I will find a happy medium.
> 
> The next chapter will be the wedding. It should be up in the next two weeks. I bought a home late last year and the move is taking up a lot of mental space and writing time.
> 
> Thank you all dear readers for your kind words in whatever form.


	14. A Special Day

Ziva ran her hand down the skirt of her dress, and smiled. After hours spent in the bridal shop, and two fittings the dress was as beautiful as she imagined.

All the fears she'd had about being nearly forty years old and a mother of a seven year old wearing something meant for women a decade younger had been banished.

The cap sleeves showed off her strong arms, and the skirt fell just right flattering the hips that had once widened to accommodate a growing Tali.

"Oh Ziva," Odette said from the doorway of the master suite. "You look lovely."

Ziva felt a smile dawn on her face. They had not officially begun the festivities and Ziva's face already ached from all the smiling.

Odette stepped into the room, and held her arms out for a hug.

"So, so lovely," Odette said, as she wrapped her arms around Ziva.

This would be the first of so many hugs that day.

Odette pulled back from the hug and took Ziva's face in her hands, and with a slight nod a thousand words passed between them.

Odette, all though in the shadows for most of it, had been a part of this journey for the longest time. She had kept Ziva's secret and kept her family safe.

Thank you would never be enough.

"Everyone's here," Odette said. "Tim had sorted out the live stream for your guests across the pond."

They had a handful of friends who were not in the states who they wanted to be part of the day, so Zoom calls had been organised, with McComputer being employed to manage it.

"We better get this started," Ziva said, "Is Tony ready?"

Tony and Ziva had not slept separately the night before the wedding, both agreeing that they had spent too many nights apart, but after a morning cuddle and a few quiet moments together, Tony had slunk off to the basement to get ready.

Tali had been employed as the go between if her parents needed anything from each other, and Senior had organised everyone when they arrived.

The guest list was small, but with four children under eight and two dogs there was an element of chaos to the festivities.

And, they would not have it any other way.

"Yes," Odette said, "And, he is losing the war against dog hair on his suit."

Ziva smirked.

Despite Lucy's initial reluctance with Tony, they were now almost as close as Tali and Lucy.

"His father," Odette started, her voice wondering, "He's quite nice isn't he."

Ziva squashed a laugh.

"Tony certainly inherited some good things from him," she said delicately.

Odette raised her eyebrow, and her face broke into a smile.

"Good to know," Odette said.

There was a creek on the stairs, and the footfall that Ziva easily recognised as Gibbs.

"I'll go organise everyone," Odette said. "Tali is bouncing off the walls with excitement."

Tali had been looking forward to the wedding as much as her parents. Even though the event was much more subdued than Tali had wanted, Tali had clung to the idea that a wedding made everything in their family official.

If Ima and Daddy were married, Ima would never leave again.

Never ever again.

Tony and Ziva saw it more as celebration of how far they had come. Of them being out in the open. Of everything they had survived. Of their forever.

Can you believe it? Tony had asked as they cuddled up that morning, Fifteen years ago I was sneaking around to your place, both of us pretending we hadn't caught feelings. Then we had that crazy decade where I killed your boyfriend, we made a kid, and you had to fake your death. Now, we have a seven year old, and we're finally doing this.

A part of her still couldn't.

After everything they had been through, and all that pain, they were emerging on the other side.

There was sure to be hard times and pain, because despite what the fairytales said the wedding was not the end of the story, but they would face whatever troubles passed through together.

A knock on the door broke Ziva from her thoughts, and Odette moved to open the door. Gibbs stood in his finest grey suit with a crossiage in his lapel, and an uncharacteristic smile on his face.

Because the wedding was in their home, Tony and Ziva had not specified a dress code, but Gibbs had made an effort.

Odette touched Gibbs on the shoulder and the two of them shared a smile.

Today was a special day, and the two of them were glad to be witness to it.

Gibbs walked into the bedroom, and placed a kiss on Ziva's cheek.

"You ready for this, kid?" he asked.

Ziva patted his shoulder.

"Yes," she replied firmly.

"Been a long time coming," Gibbs said.

"Oh yes," she said softly. "It has been a rather complicated journey."

Gibbs scoffed.

Tony and Ziva had made a hell of a mess.

Gibbs squinted and looked up at the ceiling.

Today was a happy day, but sadness lingered at the edges.

There were people who were not there to see such a joyful day. People who had helped Tony and Ziva get this far.

Ziva could so easily imagine Shmeil and Adam downstairs, both of them with one word on their lips; finally.

Finally.

Ziva wondered what it would have been like to go shopping for wedding dresses with a mother or a little sister, rather than alone.

Or what it would have been like to have the type of father Tony was to Tali. Or Gibbs was to her.

Ziva ran her hand down her dress and banished her thoughts.

Today was a happy day. A celebration.

"You look beautiful," Gibbs said.

He blinked a few times, and Ziva could guess where his mind had wondered.

There was an eight year old girl who would be forever eight years old. An eight year old girl he had once imagined doing this with.

There was once a red-headed bride, who had promised him until death do us part, only for death to part them too damn soon.

"Thank you," Ziva said.

Gibbs picked up his tie, and then laid it back down.

"I'm proud of you, kid," he said, looking down at his shoes.

She had always wanted a father who was proud of her.

Tears welled up in her eyes.

"Thank you," she whispered.

Thank you would never be enough.

How could it ever be?

Gibbs, with all his imperfections had been a safe place for her to land so many times.

After everything that happened with Ari. He still trusted her.

After everything that happened before Somalia. He still went with Tony to rescue her. He still trusted her enough to come back to the team.

After everything that happened after she left them. He still ran into the fire with her.

She would have lost him a thousand times.

Gibbs nodded at her. A slow careful nod.

She bopped his nose.

Their laughter filled the room.

"I am going to ruin my makeup," she declared.

It was minimal makeup, most of the people downstairs had seen her at her worst, but Breena had applied it so perfectly, as they talked about their daughters who were so close in age.

A playdate had been organised for the second week of October.

"Tali's pretty keen to get this party started," he said.

Ziva slipped into the en-suite, and studied her face. She tidied up her mascara and ran her lipstick over her lips.

She stepped back out, and he took her hand.

"You ready, kid?" he asked.

"Yes," she said.

She had never been more ready for anything.

The David-DiNozzo living room was eerily quiet as Ziva and Gibbs reached the bottom of the stairs.

Signs of life were dotted all over the place, discarded blazers from the menfolk who had thought the September day would be cooler. Tali's shoes, that were supposed to be upstairs. Lucy's dog lead was on the hook by the door from the early morning walk Ziva had took her on.

The finger food was on the table, with some of it already picked at. Other brides might have become annoyed at people not waiting until things were official to eat, but Ziva did not hold such grudges.

The sliding door was open, and the noise carried into the house.

The dogs barked. Tali squealed. People were talking.

Her people were talking.

People were waiting for her.

Her people were waiting for her.

Tali slipped through the door, wearing the dress with the sequins on top that they had picked out together.

"Ima!" Tali called out, her voice a painful descabile, "You and Daddy are getting married!"

"We are," Ziva said as she walked toward the door.

Tali ran back out the door, and suddenly it was quiet.

Ziva and Gibbs stepped onto the deck, and watched as four of their friends erected the chuppah. Ellie needed an extra long pole to hold it up.

Nick waved from his spot holding the chuppah , and then turned his attention back to Ellie. Ziva knew that soft look.

Hopefully those two would not make as much of a mess as Tony and Ziva had.

Odette had both the dogs next to her. Lucy was wearing the bandana which declared her to be a flower dog. Little Johnny had a hand on Lucy.

Ziva wondered how long Tim and Delilah would take to finally give in, and get a dog. Especially once they moved in across the street. Tim had wanted a dog once upon a time.

Through a tinny speaker the song Tony had chosen played.

From Ziva's perch on the deck she watched as Senior and Tali stood either side of Tony, and led him down the aisle they had crafted that very morning by laying down some branches.

They reached the end of the aisle. Tony bent down and wrapped Tali in a hug. Then Tony sprung up and wrapped his Dad in a tight hug. Senior kissed Tony on both cheeks.

"I think we should save the kissing for the bride and groom," The Rabbi declared with a smirk.

Their little crowd broke into laughter.

Senior took his place next to Odette, and Tony put his hand above his eyes, and looked up toward the deck.

She caught his smile. A huge smile that could melt the polar ice caps.

His mouth dropped slightly as he took her in.

Tali ran back down the aisle. Lucy tried to follow her, but Odette pulled her back.

Tali scrambled up the stairs onto the deck.

"It's your turn, Ima," Tali said, as she adjusted the flower crown that was out of place.

Delilah who had been put in charge of the music, held out her thumb, and the music changed from Tony's Sinatra, to the Israeli song Ziva had chosen. She was the only one that understood the lyrics but that did not matter. It was her day.

Ziva held out her hand for Tali.

Tali's hand was sweaty because of the still warm September weather, and her little run up the aisle.

Their walk was more of a shuffle, but they made it down the steps and down the aisle.

The twins clapped their hands when they walked past.

Lucy tried to join them, with Odette's dog behind her. Odette kept both the canine guests under control.

"You look beautiful, Sweetheart," Senior declared.

"That's my line, Dad," Tony called out.

Everyone laughed.

Ziva stopped in front of the phones that the McMotheInLaw and Kaisie were holding up. Ziva waved at Abby and Ducky in their little boxes. Ducky had tears in his eyes, and Abby had the biggest smile on her face.

They reached the end of the aisle, and Ziva could see tears in Tony's eyes.

"He's right," Tony said. "You look beautiful."

A tear slipped down Ziva's face. She should not have bothered reapplying the make-up, it would be down her face before they got to the photos.

She gave him her biggest smile. It made her face ache.

"You do not scratch up bad yourself," Ziva said.

The messed up idiom had been deliberate, a throwback to those long days in the squadroom. A smile broke out on his face.

"It's scrub," he hissed, "I scrub up well."

"That you do," Ziva declared.

Their little crowd broke out into laughter again.

"If we keep going like this," The McMotherInLaw declared, "I'm gonna need a potty break. You guys are a funny bunch."

That only led to more laughter.

Ziva bent down, and wrapped her arms around Tali.

"I love you so much," Ziva whispered as she held her daughter tight.

"I love you too," Tali said, as she wriggled out of the hug. "Now go marry Daddy."

Everyone broke out in laughter again.

The Rabbi held her rounded belly. When Ziva had first met the Rabbi, she had been jealous of thar roundness, but now she had made peace with the fact her belly may never swell like that again.

They had so much else to be grateful for.

"I think we will definitely need a potty break," the Rabbi said.

Tali scampered off to take her place between Senior and Lucy.

Gibbs offered her his hand, and Ziva got up. He wrapped his arm around her, and placed a kiss on her cheek.

"I love you, kid," he whispered before breaking the hug, and taking his place next to Breena.

It was quiet again. Ziva looked at everyone standing around them. All the people who had been a part of their journey, who had watched them grow.

All the people who had kept Tony standing when the hurt Ziva had caused nearly broke him. The worst thing she had ever done, had been to him.

They were surrounded by so much love.

Tony held out his hands, and Ziva stepped under the chuppah to take his hands.

"Are we ready?" the Rabbi asked.

Ziva looked around the chuppah, held up by four more of the people who had helped them get this far. Jimmy and Tim nodded. Ellie and Nick flashed bright smiles their way.

"We're both gonna be a mess by the end of this," Tony said. "And, we haven't even gotten to vows yet."

Ziva nodded.

"All right, let's get this party started," the Rabbi declared. "We are here today to celebrate Tony and Ziva. Now, I have not known these two as long as some of you, but I think we can all agree it's taken us a long time to get to this day. Tony and Ziva know that many of you woke up today and thought to yourselves, finally."

Finally.

There would be a thousand little moments that Ziva would think of when she thought of her wedding day.

She would remember the huge grin on Tony's face when he smashed the glass. She would remember everyone's clapping and cheering going on forever.

She would remember everybody's laughter, as Tony and Ziva rushed up the stairs to their bedroom for yichud. She would remember Senior trying to delicately explain the tradition to Tali when he stopped her from following her parents.

Ziva would remember the yichud. Just a few quiet moments where Tony and Ziva held each other close. They had done it.

She would remember the look that passed between Delilah and McGee when they saw the twins playing with the dogs in the garden. From a single look, Ziva could see Delilah was ready to go to the animal shelter but Tim was not so keen.

She would remember another moment of quiet, where she and Tony held up a phone and spoke to Ducky, and then to Abby. Even from across the ocean Ziva could feel their love.

Tali dancing with Senior would be a memory that sustained her. They had such a sweet relationship.

So would Tali's little speech. Her little voice shaking because she had never spoken in front of so many grown-ups.

Ima, Daddy I love you so much. So, so much.

She would remember watching Ellie and Nick, as they kept coming back to each other. She would remember Kasie's eye roll, and what she whispered.

Those two need to do it, already.

She would remember watching Senior play flirt with both Odette and the McMotherInLaw, only for the two of them to get bored, and start talking to each other. By the end of the night the two of them had organised a visit to an art exhibition the next week.

Tony had worried that because the wedding was being held during the day, and on a Sunday that people would not have fun, but there was so much laughter in their little house. So much joy.

The kids, and most of the adults stuffed themselves with all the food.

The party ended slowly. Odette packed up Sierra to drive home. Senior fell asleep on the couch in the room Ziva liked to call the sunroom, the only quiet spot. The adults with kids and early starts started to pack up in preparation for the temper tantrums that would come as the sugar wore off.

The unattached adults started to help pack up, and co-ordinate Uber rides. Nick and Ellie agreed to share an Uber even though they lived in opposite directions.

Gibbs dropped Senior home, after Tony placed two bottles of wine and a box of left overs in Senior's hands.

The house was suddenly quiet. Just the three of them, and more food than they knew what to do with. They had sent everyone home with food, but they would still be eating leftovers for days to come.

Tony closed the fridge, and moved across to the kitchen island where Ziva and Tali were standing.

Tali had dirt on her dress despite her best efforts to keep it clean. Tony had untucked his shirt, and long ago discarded his blazer. Ziva's shoes were somewhere.

Lucy was asleep on the couch, having stuffed herself with the food that dropped on the floor. The robot vacuum that Tony insisted on buying made its way under the table to try and clean up the mess.

"It feels a bit anticlimactic, doesn't it," Tony said, as he picked up the fork from the island.

The three of them were sharing one last slice of cake, before they took off their nice clothes, and settled in for the night.

Tali had school in the morning, Tony had work, and Ziva had a meeting with a student advisor at the community college.

"What does that mean?" Tai asked, as she stuffed her face.

She was the smallest of all of them and had eaten the most.

"Well," Tony said, "I mean that today is a very special day, one that we have all been looking forward to for a long time, and now it's over. It feels weird knowing that everything will be normal tomorrow. You'll go to school, I will go to work and Ima has her meeting.."

Tali had icing on her face.

"I don't have to go to school," Tali declared.

Ziva chuckled.

"You like school," Ziva said. "I am sure you want to tell all your friends about the wedding."

Tali nodded. A huge nod that made her curls shake.

"If I don't go to school tomorrow, then tomorrow can be a special day too," Tali declared.

Ziva could not fault the logic of a seven year old.

"We have to go back to normal," Ziva said. "Today has been an amazing day, one that that we will have lots of memories of, but if everyday was like today, it would no longer be special."

Tony took some cake.

"Ima's right," Tony said.

"Ima's usually right," Tali declared, as pressed her fork into the cake.

Tony chuckled to himself, and moved closer to Ziva. He wrapped his arm around her waist.

"A part of me is expecting to wake up tomorrow and have this all be a dream," he whispered. His new wedding ring glistened in the late afternoon sun.

"It does not feel real," Ziva murmured, as she turned slightly so they faced each other. "But, it is. This is our real life."

This messy but busy house, with its regular guests was their real life.

Their daughter, with her school bag, and hair scrunchies was real life.

The husband that she would cuddle up with that night is real life.

He snaked his arms around her waist, and pulled her close, she placed her hands on his cheeks, and they kissed. A sweet and easy kiss, like so many they had before, and like so many more to come.

"I think you two have done enough of that today," Tali declared, as the grown ups broke into laughter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's a wrap folks. Thank you so much to everyone who has been a part of this fic, and 'A Family, Reunited', whether it was by reading it or kind words in a review/tweet/comment etc.
> 
> It's been a year since I started 'A Family, Reunited' and what a year it has been. Sending all of you dear readers lots of love, especially those still impacted by the pandemic.
> 
> I just bought my first home, so I don't know when I will be writing again. I also don't know if/when I will continue this universe, but if the muse strikes, I'll definitely share it with you guys.
> 
> Thank you again dear readers.


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